Am I a complete weirdo for contemplating moving to America?

[Frinkleg]

It’s always been an option as dh is a pilot. He’s spoken to an airline out there and would be able to secure a job with 3x the salary. We would actually be able to feel a little bit more than just comfortable.

I actually really do love the UK. I enjoy village life, British holidays, Brits are just funnier etc.

But the money is just too much of a head turner.

We could afford a gorgeous home in Connecticut with a pool.

We spend a lot of time in the states but only as holidaymakers. It would certainly be an adjustment.

of course I fear guns, American politics re female rights, I’m by no means pro Trump. The ICE raids are horrific. But we’d have some bloody money. And a nice house.

I can’t imagine the US ever feeling like home that’s the only thing.

Go for it UK is in massive decline and Labour are killing any prospects of growth for forseeable future! USA standard of living is far higher than UK for people who work!

I’d like to see that fact checked however, I believe many of these were from stirring up racial hatred so not unhappy that folk are getting hauled over coals if this is the case.

Can you rent your UK house easily? Have you looked into what your spousal visa limitations there are? Would you be allowed to work also? How long are you planning to go for? I suppose a few years could be nice, but possibly not forever? I wouldn’t want to raise high school kids in US.

You sound so shallow OP, it's quite depressing to read such a lack of awareness of current political and societal situations.

This place is hilarious. People have to be on here on the wind up surely! Shallow for thinking of the best quality of life for their family 🙄

Can’t lie, if children are involved then I’d really reconsider just due to the sheer amount of gun violence. It would also depend a lot on where you would live.

My best friend moved to the US and money wise is doing much better there. It’s a logical consideration.

Politics aside, isn't Connecticut really really cold in winter? Like much colder and icier than the UK? I'm not sure I could cope with that 😆 if it were California I'd be off in a heartbeat!

also, the house you posted looks like the home alone house!

on balance, I don't think x3 salary is enough to make a jump with all the risks involved (guns, politicos, healthcare costs, cost of living etc). Much better to stay in the UK. Also I have heard from American friends basics like eggs milk and bread are mega expensive and I couldn't cope with that either...

Do you hear yourself OP??? You have children, please don't put your family through something that may turn out to be quite a distressing experience, you have zero guarantee that the rule of law will apply every time and everywhere you are in the US. It's so callous to come to a country and use its more advantageous financial attributes while turning a blind eye to its most horrific part.

I've lived in more than one dictatorship. It's perfectly possible to lead a normal life, even a pleasant one, as long as you don't paint a target on your back. Nobody's going to bother a couple of white middle class professionals. So the question is not whether you'll be okay, because you will; you probably won't even notice democracy is being eroded, because you won't be affected by it. The question is whether you can tacitly endorse democratic backsliding by moving there. The other question is whether Britain is really any better. Is it six of one and half a dozen of the other?

Yep OP is shallow but I'm glad I made you smile. :)

Go, go, go! The UK is a sinking ship. I love my country but wouldn’t hesitate to start a life somewhere new. I would want to work though, so if that’s all in order, medical sorted, start packing and enjoy your new life.

Some things to consider:
Pilots have a high rate of divorce. I guess the scheduling is pretty demanding. What happens if your marriage doesn't go the distance? Would you want to be stuck over there with the kids if your DH wouldn't let you take them back to the UK.
What if your DH couldn't work for some reason (health, for example). Would you be okay or would you take out good income protection insurance? Remember welfare there is not easy.
Having had a child develop significant medical issues in their later teens, I'd be very sure about being able to afford the top medical insurance. You just never know and it's essential to have rock solid medical insurance over there.

I wouldn't say don't do it. I don't think I would (and refused to go when we did have the opportunity a few times), but you're not me.

Another reason I wouldn't go, I have daughters. I don't want them to receive the kind of healthcare around pregnancy complications all this pro-life change over there has brought about, if they settled there. I certainly wouldn't get pregnant over there myself in case of complications needing medical attention. I say this as someone who identifies as generally pro-life.

Her husband isn’t white.

My parents lived in a moderate southern state for years. All of the nicest houses were in gated communities and it was a relatively safe area. It doesn’t gave to be Johannesburg.

Oh and all those ‘mansions’ had guns safes. Saw them with my own eyes.

Yeah you aren’t wrong. Eastern seaboard - mega snow and cold in winter. Fine if you like that weather and yes they can deal with the snow. It’s going to hit -2 on Saturday for example in November. Should get much colder through the winter and warmer in march. Average snowfall is 38 inches but Norfolk is 77 inches per year.

Oh and has anyone told you that your hubby is likely to onky get probably 2-3 weeks holiday a year and of course thats based on seniority which presumably would be recounted in another country.

CT has snowy winters, are you up for snow clearance and grey misery sludge for spring? I second getting all your property tax and medical insurance quotes in before deciding. Property tax is a percentage of the house sale, not a band like council tax. It can 10s of thousands, especially if you need good schools as they are funded by property tax. If you have kids, consider university as your DC may want to stay in the US, which will then be a whole job of sports, extracurricular activities and a very different education system.

If you are no kids, go and live somewhere fun. Think hard and don't get your head turned by a big house if you do.

I wouldn’t want to send my kids to school in the US.

I have just come back from the states. Not been there for ages. My partner is black and despite working for an American firm with 95% American colleagues (so not just relying on our media), I think he felt a little dubious. We both loved it and had an amazing trip through Calofornia. America is obviously huge with differing politics and attitudes, just like the UK. I'd definitely go for it. You only live once. What is worse that can happen? You don't like it and you come back. America works of you have money and you will do. So I think it would be good.

Living somewhere else for a while or even emigrating is a big adventure, I think it is worthwhile, whether or not you speak the language (most languages can be learned😅) However as you have kids and are married you need to consider:

• Health insurance!
• General cost of living (tipping, sales tax not necessarily included, federal and state tax, property tax, ... )
• Schooling, costs, quality (I heard state schools can be quite good in well off neighbourhoods)?
• Your visa status as a spouse, do you want to work, are you allowed to work? Will you be "trapped" in the US dependant on DH?
• Political situation/society in CT and nationwide, depends on your point of view. Don't kid yourself, that just because they also speak English, they have the same attitude/outlook/laws (humour aside).
• Distance: do you have family back in the UK, that you might want to visit regularly? Are you a single child with elderly parents and feel somewhat responsible? You will need both time and money to do this.
• How would you be able to deal with emergencies/sudden job loss?
• What's the long term perspective, what's the backup plan? Are you planning to emigrate for ever, or go for a few years? How would you come back? Is it a secondment from a UK company or job change to US company? If you both, or one of you just cannot make it work? At some point you will not be able to come back anymore, as DH will too old/too expensive/too wrongly qualified to be able to find another job back in the UK, and you will have to stick it out until retirement.

Investigate thoroughly! Join FB pages on living in US! Keep talking with DH, that you are both on the same page. This has significant risks, but can be a great adventure. Good luck

Well you can always come back so try it.

Just googled the salary and it seems a lot better than what you’d get here for the same role. It makes you understand why people are leaving the UK for better paid jobs elsewhere as well, we’ll end up with a skills shortage if wages don’t go up to match other countries.

Wow! Get gone! I’d move in a heartbeat.

I’d do it. I have family in the US, everyday life is not affected by all the political madness (except the shutdown), people just get on with things, work, have friends, hobbies, go on holiday ect ect. It’s great to live abroad for at least a few years, gives a much broader perspective on life. There are some truly fabulous places to visit in the US which are really easy to get to if you live there. And if you don’t like it you can always come back.

Big questions I’d have. Healthcare (already covered). What would your visa position be, can you work? Do you have or want children, if so what will you do for schooling? It can be really really tough to make friends if you have neither a job nor school to work from. Do you both drive? Religion is really important in many gated communities, if you don’t go to church make sure you choose your community carefully.