Am I a complete weirdo for contemplating moving to America?

[Frinkleg]

It’s always been an option as dh is a pilot. He’s spoken to an airline out there and would be able to secure a job with 3x the salary. We would actually be able to feel a little bit more than just comfortable.

I actually really do love the UK. I enjoy village life, British holidays, Brits are just funnier etc.

But the money is just too much of a head turner.

We could afford a gorgeous home in Connecticut with a pool.

We spend a lot of time in the states but only as holidaymakers. It would certainly be an adjustment.

of course I fear guns, American politics re female rights, I’m by no means pro Trump. The ICE raids are horrific. But we’d have some bloody money. And a nice house.

I can’t imagine the US ever feeling like home that’s the only thing.

I would absolutely do it. As you spend a fair bit of time in the US anyway, you’ll know that a lot of what you read here is hugely exaggerated. If you go legally and are law abiding, ICE isn’t going to be banging on your door to drag you home.

Treat it like an adventure and maybe just initially commit for a couple of years. With a job like your DH’s, he’s never going to be out of work and you can always come home.

Do you mean a permanent move? I wouldn’t personally because a huge house with a pool wouldn’t motivate me, I mean you can get an even bigger house in Texas. I just wouldn’t want to live in the US (have been several times and enjoyed the holidays). I absolutely would not go with children, I wouldn't like them growing up with the misplaced American values (the free-est, bestest country in the world nonsense) and I definitely wouldn’t want them swearing allegiance every morning at school.

I am American, my husband is Scottish, he’s says he’d never go back. We live in SoCal, own a large house with a pool, put our children through wonderful public schools, have never seen a gun outside of movies (but have seen tons of movie stars 😂), and after paying bills, including health insurance, we have loads left over every month.

We travelled outside to Europe in May, no issues coming or going,

Local and state politics play a much bigger role in day-to-day life than federal, but we are still counting down the days to when my fellow Americans wise up and vote that prick out of office.

I think you have received hysterical responses on this thread.

Personally I would go for it.

It doesn’t have to be a permanent move and you might be able to save up, return to the UK with bolstered savings in the future should you want to.

I don’t really think two Brits that pass as white are going to be on the receiving end of “ICE” in America. Americans love the British and as soon as they hear your accent, you’ll be treated as having privilege.

What happens about health insurance when kids have left education? Who is responsible for it?

I wondered how to explain the straw man argument to someone a few years ago, and your comparison about ectopic pregnancies in Malta = Europe fits perfectly. Thank you.

They do what everyone else does - they got jobs. Benefits, including private insurance, being offered by employers is obviously the norm here, and their contributions are low. Our daughter works for a large tech company and pays $85 a month, pre-tax.

We are talking about Connecticut, not a southern state. It's like comparing two completely different countries. As I said, I've lived here over seven years and literally never seen a gated community in the north east

At 18, just left school snd they are responsible for their own health insurance? Does every job no matter the pay give good health insurance to all their employees?

What happens if they get made redundant or fired on the spot (as can be done in the US at-will I think it’s called) and it takes a while to get another job and they break their arm in between jobs?

They are (were) eligible to stay on our insurance as long as they were full-time students, meaning all through university. And yes, almost all full-time jobs offer benefits, even retail. You can also purchase private insurance.

Just saw you added after I replied. First, I have never known anyone to be fired without cause or they were let go to do layoffs or company closing, at will is more employees choosing to quit immediately.

I am not going to, nor could I possibly, explain every possible insurance scenario, including COBRA, enrollment dates, coverage terms, etc., as every employer, insured employee and insurer is different. But if I quit my hypothetical job today and broke my arm tomorrow, I would still have insurance coverage until November 30. (But if I waited until Saturday to quit, I would be covered until December 31. Like I said, it’s complicated.)

Not sure if this has been mentioned, but look closely at school options and, importantly, property taxes. My DSis lives in NY, just over from the Conneticut border. Her kids went to an absolutely amazing high school, but the property taxes (on their lovely, big house) were insanely high (still cheaper than private school fees over there though). Also, school districts differ hugely in that area - they moved where they moved for the schools, but one district over the schools were no where near as good...

Also, she does live in a bit of a bubble. There's no actual countryside to speak of, in the way we understand it. Whilst her house and the surroundings are very pretty, the local town is still basically strip malls. I find it all a bit soulless and lacking and sense of real identity or community.

I used to live in the States in the early 2000s. There's not a way in hell I'd move back there now. Think carefully - especially if any of your children are girls.

Oh, and even though Conneticut isn't a Southern state, my DSis says that loads of her neighbours (and even some friends) are Trump supporters. It's pretty grim

Oh and more other thing! Her kids regularly had to do 'active shooter' drills in school (primary school upwards), in the way our kids do fire drills in schools here. And that's in a really well-off area, no where near a major city. I'd hate that for my kids.

Honestly, I have travelled to USA recently, lots of people so friendly and warm. And parts of the country are so spectacular.

However, despite any other advantages, I would never, never advise someone to go when they have children. If your marriage ended in divorce, you absolutely could end up with him staying, the courts preventing you from taking the kids to UK, but you not allowed to stay in US. There's no way I would take that chance.

You’re asking in the wrong place. Mumsnet on the whole is vehemently anti-US. But each state is like a different country in terms of its politics, women’s rights, tax etc. You need to be selective.

If well off and if you live in a pleasant place / state the US is a great place to live. Women’s rights in this context generally means abortion rights which may not be an issue for you.

You have to weigh it up against what is happening and may happen here in the UK. Although I love the U.K. I’m very worried. It feels to me like we’re in terminal decline and as I’m middle aged I’m genuinely terrified about healthcare and the prospect of getting old here. I suspect that the well off may well depart for abroad and I’d rather the US personally than the Middle East.

You could always come back!

New England is lovely , and definitely a place id like to spend time in , So many charming historic towns and beautiful houses.
that being said, and although All these states are blue , I’d be so wary to move right now, nothing sounds right, this has been the longest government shutdown yet, even Aviation sector felt the ripple.
I just couldn’t live in a country with long lines of federal employees at food banks or children, elderly and disabled without food Aid program, and to think this could happen every year and there are people ok with it is beyond my comprehension .

This! I think you’d kick yourself if you didn’t do it!

You get a good, full health insurance working at McDonalds (burger flipping, not management) and other low paid jobs?

What happens to anyone if they lose their job, health insurance wise, if it takes months to find another job.

Why would you buy it privately if all jobs give it?

The US has something called at-will which means you could be there ten years and get fired on the spot (not for any wrongdoing).

A big house, a pool and more money for Botox. The trade-off being your kids at risk of being shot every day when they go to school.
Sounds like you need to re-think your priorities in life.

Some emergency treatment is available free (or on a deferred payment plan). But if it’s not an emergency then you have to pay out of pocket or wait until it becomes an emergency eg early stage cancer won’t be treated free of charge until it becomes life threatening. You see those Dr Pimple Pooper type programs on TV where people have lived for years with hugely disfiguring, life-altering growths and UK viewers exclaim ‘why on earth did they let it get that bad?’. That’s why. People die for want of treatment/inability to cover the cost of their prescriptions. If you have money (and the good luck not to be fired and lose your insurance because you can’t work due to bad health), you can access the most amazing first world health care. If you don’t, it’s a brutal place to be.

Id go for it. US politics does feel dystopian right now, but i think there is a lot to fear in the UK also. The only thing that really shelters you in these climates, is being wealthy and upper-middle class enough to cocoon yourself in a bubble so that none of it impacts you.

Being much better off financially (as you will be in the US) will offer you insulation from the chaos.

If you can afford it, I'd go for a gated community and private school for the kids. Hopefully ride out the current political shitstorm in comfort.

I have a friend in The USA who married an American woman. They have a great life, first in Massachusetts and now doing retirement on Long Island Sound. If you have some money, I think it’s a great place to live. You obviously know the country and your healthcare would be sorted. People are friendly and welcoming-and Connecticut is very different from the Flyovers. You’ll have access to the mountains, the sea and Boston is accessible for city culture. Only you can know whether you’ll fit in and whether the undoubted benefits are worth the drawbacks. However, all countries have their disadvantages-but the USA is still a fine place to live. And if you don’t like Trump-neither do many Americans-and he won’t be there for ever.

Pimple Popper (app won’t let me edit)

I don’t particularly want to stay in the UK, if I had the money I would definitely like to go back to where I have lived (in Europe) but the big house with pool was not on the list of why I’d go (better safety, cleanliness and it’s natural beauty are the motivators). Maybe it’s down to my own personal experiences but stuff like big houses and pools just can't muster up excitemrnt for me. Let me sit on a bench and watch the world go by in beautiful and pretty safe surroundings is my motivator (okay, I was completely spoilt by visuals and relative safety because I lived in Switzerland).

Looks a bit like the Amityville house. I love America, Americans were very friendly when I worked there off and on in the 90's but I would NOT live under the current laws and orange guy for any money in the world.
Is money a big enough pull for you to give up everything you like about the UK.