Am I a complete weirdo for contemplating moving to America?

[Frinkleg]

It’s always been an option as dh is a pilot. He’s spoken to an airline out there and would be able to secure a job with 3x the salary. We would actually be able to feel a little bit more than just comfortable.

I actually really do love the UK. I enjoy village life, British holidays, Brits are just funnier etc.

But the money is just too much of a head turner.

We could afford a gorgeous home in Connecticut with a pool.

We spend a lot of time in the states but only as holidaymakers. It would certainly be an adjustment.

of course I fear guns, American politics re female rights, I’m by no means pro Trump. The ICE raids are horrific. But we’d have some bloody money. And a nice house.

I can’t imagine the US ever feeling like home that’s the only thing.

It sounds like you're pretty convinced to go so not sure what anyone says here would make a difference anyway (and nor should it obviously!)

But for me, 300 odd school shootings this year, t
being stuck with no financial independence and no option to leave (if you split DH can keep kids there), and the uncertainty of what the next 3yrs brings with the mad king in charge would mean its a NO for now.

Also how healthy is the housing market? Like how quick would a big house like that sell if you needed or wanted to come back?

The fact you even have to say that is pretty bad, like pale skinned black people 'passing' for white many years ago to avoid discrimination.

Moving countries (I've done it twice, once to Middle East and then to Antipodes) is extremely stressful and can test the strongest marriage.
Bear in mind that if you split up, you won't be able to move the kids back to UK unless he agrees.

I'm sure if you are middle class, white, christian and can turn a blind eye to a lot of things it is fine. Many people just live their lives there and never see gun crime or the worst of the US first hand, living in the right place and having plenty of money are the most important things, paying for health care in particular. Would you ever be able to become citizens? You can always come back if it doesn't work out.

Knowing a few people who have let salaries and tax exemptions decide where they live in the world, the additional cash and lifestyle does not seem to make them happier or happy in some
cases. I would think very clearly about your reasons for going and know go if there are positives aside from having a bigger house…

Sounds like a great opportunity. I have a friend who did similar. Lives in a mansion in the states but is so isolated out there as all friends are in the UK. I don’t know if I could do it though.

besides, the US is not cheap anymore. The politics is unattractive too.

CT is lovely. However make sure you factor in property tax into your calculations. There is a reason those massive houses are cheaper

I have two American DIL's and my BIL is a now a US citizen. Whilst the DIL's miss "home" they would never move back and are reasonably content in the UK, and the way of life. Conversely BIL could never contemplate moving back as his standard of living is far beyond what he had here ( Think luxury houses, boats etc)
The only thing that concerns BIL is healthcare as he ages.
I don't think you are mad OP to consider it, but it is really a big "consider" and only you can assess how your family can or will adapt.

Well fascists tend not to come for the rich in favoured industries until close to the end, so there's that.

More immediately, Brits overlook that American is a federal system, and the individual State has a lot of power. Many are protecting their citizens from the worst excesses of that vile creature, especially the democratic voting ones. Connecticut is progressive in US terms.

This is a massive stretch! oPs husband is a pilot so entering through airports he would be beyond fine - I’m sure tsa would treat him like a prince! Working for an airline he would have an iron clad visa, healthcare would be first rate. Quality of life for high earners in America compared to UK is considerably higher. You would have a wonderful time. Honestly politics everywhere is a mess. The Labour government have been appalling. Never known anything like - waking up each morning to ‘what now?’

OP, don't be fooled by the house. My friend was an estate agent there and said most newer houses were of poor quality and built for show. She chose an older "Georgian" property for herself.

We almost moved to Texas about fifteen years ago and even then, you had to consider neighbourhoods carefully. A house similar to to mine in the UK was $700k then. And as pp said,health ins, taxes, HOA shite etc. In the end we didn't, even though DH's employer covered rent and health ins. because I wouldn't be allowed to work over there. However, this could be your chance to be a sahm, if that appeals.

Being British is a huge advantage in the US so I would say go for it, but have a plan in place for if DH loses his job/you have to return to the UK etc.

yabu, but mainly for living in the Home Alone house.

I wouldn’t myself and have lived in many countries around the world. Are there not opportunities to fly elsewhere?

She did say she is already a sahm

Agree in house quality. There is definitely a mix. But CT doesn’t have as crazy a weather and most houses are well insulated to stand the cold winters so are pretty good quality. You will even find some ‘old’ colonial stock - although would recommend that - the colonials didn’t go in for big rooms 😂

honestly, I wouldn’t bother with a pool in CT. Huge cost and although the summers are hot - they aren’t that long. Everything will freeze in the winter. Join a country club instead.

Yes. Surely there are lots of places in the world where you would have more money?

With 30 arrests a day for posts on social media, I find it hilarious to see Brits look down on the US. There is nothing quite like the British jingoism.
gun laws etc are no reason to move to Connecticut as they’re restrictive there. The real question is the lifestyle- do you have kids? Could you live with American values? I couldn’t- the whole work all the time, focus on money, constant improvement, take medication to keep going culture would distress me

Our issue in the UK is that the entire right wing opposition (Tories + Reform) are MAGA sycophants. The irony of post Brexit Britain is that we're barely sovereign because too many areas of our economy are entirely reliant on the US.
I think the US will eventually find a way out of whatever is going on right now but it'll take a while and the biggest question is whether it can happen peacefully (which I certainly hope will be the case). I think settling there right now is a little bit like building a villa in Pompeii circa 78AD. I really really hope I'm wrong.

Dp is from the Us. He is glad to be in the uk right now due to the politics. He would like to go back eventually. Personally a house big house would not be enough for me. The school safety would need to come first.

I agree.

In your shoes I would pack up and go and see how I got along. You already know you would be swapping one set of problems for another set but the new set might be a damn sight more palatable and more money is a great lubricant to that.

You could always let your British home via an agent so you have a step back in if you want to come back.

I would go for it OP if your children are happy with it. I’d go back if I could but our kids are older so it’s trickier. I have lots of family and friends there and they’re all just living normal lives. People on here would have you believe they all spend all their time thinking and worrying about Trump or guns, but they don’t, they’re just living life.

Yes. Yes you are and for suggesting U.K. is just as bad as America or heading that way, we are nowhere near their level (yet). My friends in US just bought a house in Ireland as an escape. They are really worried.

I’ve worked with many people who lived in America. They all said it was amazing how much further their money went in terms of housing. They all also said it wasn’t worth it, mainly because of healthcare, but also good quality is awful, the fear of their children’s safety and general political climate. They’ve almost all since returned here.

Right now, no way. Not for any amount of money. I wouldn't.

Friends went out for a year - turned into 2, turned into a lifetime. They have made a good life for themselves, their kids absolutely love it. I’d say go for it, try it out for a while - it might be fun. We’ve lived all over the world and then we came back to the UK - we made a positive choice, don’t regret any of the places we’ve lived - even the ones I didn’t enjoy so much.

We got a job offer and in included private schooling and top notch health care. But we turned it down. I just didn’t feel comfortable taking my kids. Is Britain also in a scary place? Yes. But American is like if we actually voted for Nigel Farrage to be PM. I am hoping and betting on that never happening. If it did, I likely would leave the country.