DH surprising me with possible (very) early retirement

[Aggyagro]

Ok so I know this is his decision, but it will definitely affect us both. We are both early fifties and I am in the situation where due to taking time out of pension contributions and doing freelance work when the 3 DCs were young I know I’ll need to work to retirement age.
We go halves on bills, he is the bigger wage earner and I pay the mortgage whereas he does loads of other things. All ok. But now he has started saying that with the DCs all moved out and nearly independent he’ll be looking to take early retirement in the next few years. He’s been paying into his pension and doing all the sums. He says it will mean a sacrifice but it’s ‘doable’. It just means that we will have to do fewer things like takeaways and cut back a bit. Call me mad but I’m struggling to see the advantage to this. When I ask what he plans to do with his time he says ‘nothing,’ with a grin…
Then he says maybe travel more, but then I point out that I’ll still be working and that we’ll have less money, which doesn’t seem to work logically. I can see a few problems ahead, or am I just being selfish?

If that was the case, why didn't you bother to quote them? Why did you feel the need to be sarcastic?
Your comment makes no sense in the context of @Aggyagro's posts, which you presumably didn't bother to read.

Glad to hear your actions are causing him to have a little rethink!

Have you thought about contributing less into the pot each month as "I wasnt able to pay into a pension when the children were young so im going to catch up now" and set up a private savings/investment/pension in addition.

I was being sarcastic against the people compiling statistics about non working women of over 50 who can't even work out that many couples reach a point where they are mortgage free and decide life will be easier of the side stays at home.

I'm sorry you didn't understand that, I thought it was perfectly clear to anyone reading the thread in sequence.

Have you looked into ‘home responsibilities protection’ Ewing the DWP pension service. It’s NI credits towards state pension for mums who stayed home to look after children

It wasn’t.

I'm with you on that. You've probably saved the state a fortune in care costs. Some people are so short-sighted on this subject.

I hope he has a rethink.

Retirement plans should be discussed together if you are married. We had always planned to retire at 60. Our normal retirement age was 66 so we knew we would have a 6 year gap so we overpaid pensions, did avcs, paid off the mortgage and invested in stocks and shares ISAs. As I had worked part time when our children were young we focused on building up my pension provision as I had less than DH. When my husband reached 57 and his company changed working conditions significantly we worked out what we would get if he went at 58 and I went part time. Part time was not an option for him as that would have been our first preference. My point is it was a shared conversation and decision for my husband to retire at 58 and me to retire 2 years later as I am younger. We knew we could afford our current lifestyle even in retirement.

Your husband has not recognised the imbalance between both of your pensions, he has not repaid the mortgage and in fact you say you pay it in spite of his salary being higher and he has not discussed his plans with you but presented it as it being his decision only. I think you need to make it clear that you will no longer be shouldering the mortgage payments alone so he realises you are not happy to continue working and paying it off while he bums around at home leaving you both with less disposable income. I also would make it clear he will do all household jobs if you are still working full time. Since retiring I make sure my husband does half the cooking and cleaning and helps out more with shopping and other household tasks. Any decisions made should be agreed by both of you.

Absolute ballcocks. I know several women my age looking after APs, and only 1 is looking after their own parents. I and the others are all dealing with in-laws, and we're doing it because no fecker else will do it! Believe me, I would much rather be earning a wage, and NI credits, for putting up with a cantankerous old lady 5 days a week!

I do think there is a lot of this going on - in some cases due to elderly parents and the care home situation or insufficient affordable care at home or even unwell partners. There are some giving up due to parents retiring early due to healthy pension funds and some who don’t like the current working environment in many work environments of constant targets, assessments, salesy almost bullying culture - it’s a really really mixed picture -