DSis is skimping on Christmas because she’s obsessed with her Skye trip?

[LydiaRidesAgain]

DSis has announced on the family chat that she’s doing a smaller Christmas this year so she and BIL can save for their big Isle of Skye holiday next summer.
Fine in theory, except last year she happily accepted the tasteful and expensive pile of gifts I bought for them both, and now I am apparently only getting a little token.

DM has already chimed in with something about memories meaning more than materialistic things which pissed me off.

AIBU to think she can save for her holiday without cheaping out on me and the rest of the family?????

No other posts are needed after reading this. Hopefully this puts it into context for you. Hopefully you'll start to rearrange priorities in your head a little.

Sending thoughts to Ella31 ❤️❤️

Did she buy you nice stuff last year or just you her?
Have you bought stuff for her already? Just take it back?
It’s only early November, tbh I haven’t bought anything yet.
They are right though -memories are better than yet more tat/packaging/unwanted stuff.

This. It's so obvious I don't know why they OP is even asking.

Just buy her a hat with a midgie net attached then.

If she queries it you can say that you too were thinking of Skye .

In all seriousness, they are bloody brilliant.

Its very disappointing when people dont show generosity around gifts. I get it. Buying a gift shows you have gone to some effort to get something. Ive never fallen for the ' its the thought that counts ' bullshit. My cousin and her tight arsed partner came to visit our family one time for a big family gathering eeekend. . They ate all the food on offer ( my mums a great cook ) , held back when we went out so that we ended up paying, and turned up unexpectedly to a lunch that was only supposed to be for the people we were seeing on that particular day. And what did we get in return. A loaf of bread when they arrived which my cousins partner had baked myself'. Well whoopy doo. I hate cheapskates. Just dont bother with the selfish bullshitters.

So sorry to hear this.

Another thread like this?

Perhaps she was embarrassed by your generosity last year and doesn't want to be caught out again? Do presents really matter that much? I'm grateful if someone sees something and things of me, no matter how much it costs.

It always surprises me how materialistic adults can be.

OP sounds like the Christmas version of a bridezilla.

A Christmazilla I suppose that would be.

What a lot of fuss about nothing. You have had plenty of warning, just spend less than you usually would - simple really. As for last year's gifts, what have they got to do with it?

If I want something I buy it for myself, I don't expect expensive gifts from others.

Surely you got gifts last year? And if you know in advance she’s not going big Christmas then you can cut back as well?

Does everyone on here go mad over Christmas?

It's probably a cultural thing but I have never seen adults in all my life, act like this about gifts.

Talk about missing the point of the entire season.

Take back what you bought and give them a selection box

Do all your relationships need a buy in to keep you happy?

You sound grabby

Sounds sensible of them, no one forced you to buy expensive gifts

Nothing generous about putting people under pressure to spend money they can't afford or even simply don't want to spend. Generous is by definition expecting nothing back in return is it not - otherwise it's just a transaction.

I don't agree with free loading of course. The OPs sister isn't freeloading as she has given her family the heads-up to reduce their spending.

The posts saying "how much can a holiday to Skye" cost by people that probably holiday long haul are pretty disgusting. No matter your own budget you are pretty ignorant if you don't know that people often can't afford any type of holiday - and that £500 - or probably more realistically £1500-£2000 for this holiday is a lot to many many people.

If the OP was actually "generous" and has plenty of money to demonstrate that generosity she could stuff an envelope with "Isle of Skye spending money" and be glad of a box of quality street in return.

I'd absolutely love it if we all decided not to shell out £££ on presents beyond a token gesture and we all agreed we can just buy ourselves something nice.
As in all of us. Whole country. Sack off buying people stuff and go to the Isle of Skye instead...or wherever it is you fancy.
Yeah.

There are two threads up on active right now telling essentially the same story and using similar phrases.

I’ve done this previously with people to stop overspending, works really well

There are interesting conversations to be had about the nature of gifting/generosity and all our actions re Christmas gifting regardless.

It’s six weeks away op

don’t be so dramatic.

return anything you’ve bought of high value and just give lower value gifts.

Don’t blame her af all

we are doing the same this year as have booked a fairly big holiday next year and need to save for it and actually it’s not about the value of what you give or even if you actually do give.

it’s a load of crap being passed around for the sake of it nowadays and nobody needs so much.

give your head a wobble

Plenty of time to take back anything you've bought and buy something cheaper.

OR - not give to receive, because you are in fact keeping score, and give her whatever lovely gifts you've bought because you love her, while understanding that her own finances mean she can't reciprocate this year.

Another great advert for why Christmas presents should stop.
Endless problems and pressure which will continue through December.

I dont blame her for wanting to sound on going on holiday.
Take this as an.opportunity to stop the present buying between you.

Your life will get better.

Are you saying you have already got all the gifts?

If not then what is the problem - if yes - can you return some - and spend the money on other people /yourself

It's not like you turned up on the day - and found out!

There have been several threads with the same theme. People are struggling and it is not wrong to prioritise their own family holiday. All of my siblings have agreed to cut to basics this xmas Ive got major house repairs going on, 1 sibling has debts, 1 lost their job and has a holiday for partners big birthday next year. The gift giving and consumerism of Christmas has gone mad so I'm glad more people are pulling it back in

There are some amazing and very expensive restaurants in Skye. Just saying.