DSis is skimping on Christmas because she’s obsessed with her Skye trip?

[LydiaRidesAgain]

DSis has announced on the family chat that she’s doing a smaller Christmas this year so she and BIL can save for their big Isle of Skye holiday next summer.
Fine in theory, except last year she happily accepted the tasteful and expensive pile of gifts I bought for them both, and now I am apparently only getting a little token.

DM has already chimed in with something about memories meaning more than materialistic things which pissed me off.

AIBU to think she can save for her holiday without cheaping out on me and the rest of the family?????

I’d be bloody delighted if family told me this. I’d love to scale it all back a bit.

Yeah.. is there a Centre Parks on Skye?

Most contracts can be ended with 30 days notice. Since you seem to treat Christmas this way ("renegotiate terms"), you've had ample notice.

I can't believe you think you're the reasonable one here.

If a family member told me that I’d say that’s a great idea and perhaps we could just do token gifts this year..?
Honestly, what’s the problem?

How much notice do you need to not go buying loads of expensive stuff? Are you saying that you have already bought their presents? If so can anything be returned or regifted to someone else?

I can't see the problem, in fact I'd see it as a win in that you now don't have to spend any money in presents on her, bar a similar token. You wouldn't want to embarrass her, after all.

Very similar threads on here today with people saving for hols so giving less expensive gifts...

Just give her a kitkat

Graspy, graspy grasp.....you're an adult. Buy gifts for the joy of giving, keeping to a budget of your choice. FFS, what kind of selfish person gives gifts in accordance to the value of what they may receive. Why bother at all if this is your attitude.

OP, YADNBU.

As we all know, Christmas is about how much people spend on the presents they give to us.

Ho, ho, ho!

😂

This must be the same poster as Centre Parcs. I wonder which relative/friend will be withholding presents next in lieu of a holiday? Grandpa doesn't want to buy anything because he's saving for a Saga cruise to the Bahamas? Auntie Beryl won't cough up because she's going on a singles trip to the Canary Islands?

We should take bets!

Have you heard yourself. So you only give to get back? You sound quite grabby. More fool you for spending what you did. Why has everything got to about the amount at christmas. Have a word with yourself!

Something similar happened with my DSil. She’s more than happy to encourage presents and expensive lists over for her DCs when they were little but when mine came along, nothing was reciprocated.

You’ll get a lot of yours being unreasonable responses (I expect from similar characters to your DSil) but really it’s them that are grabby for being so tight!

It's a holiday, not a legal contract.

No precedent matters. You can't bring her to Holiday Claims Court.

She doesn't have to negotiate anything with you. You're not the Holiday Claims Court Judge and Jury.

She gave you nearly 2 months notice that she's prioritizing other things than holiday gifts this year.

Save it for The Airing of the Grievances.

Well surely the reciprocity for last year's presents was last year? And you don't give to recievr.

Just agree a budget with her and stick to it.

Thank you! I thought it was just me. How expensive can a trip to Skye be, it's surely just petrol, maybe a ferry depending on your route, a week in an Air BnB (boo hiss!) and spending money?!

Well, she's explicitly told she canmot do both, save for this and buy expensive piles of presents. She sounds sensible and honest to me. Sensible mum too. YABVH. Expensive piles of presents can make people feel v uncomfortable.

It's not the same situation at all. Someone happy to receive gifts for their kids not reciprocating when you have kids is unkind and makes you feel they don't care for your kids.

The OPs sister has said almost 2 months before Christmas that she would like to spend less this year - presumably she has shared this so that others can respond in kind and spend less on her also.

I'd be happy to let christmas go full stop and spend all my money on a fantastic holiday... christmas is a load of overpriced shit.
It's for the kids .

What is going on here? Are you the earlier “cutla quid” OP?

Depends when she's travelling. A week in a decent Air BnB in the summer will be ££££s

What has last year got to do with this year?
She's letting you know not to splurge on her this year. You sound very entitled - Christmas is not supposed to be some sort of business transaction.

Fine in theory, except last year she happily accepted the tasteful and expensive pile of gifts I bought for them both, and now I am apparently only getting a little token.

Are you sure your presents were tasteful? Because you’re coming across very tasteless.

And besides, how could she do other than “happily accept your tasteful and expensive gifts”…. she’s hardly going to throw them back in your face. You’re being ridiculous!

Giving isn’t about receiving. You can match her budget if that’s something you care about.