AIBU to think this tutor has an attitude?

[SoCloseToNothing1981]

First time posting on here (long-time lurker). I'm not sure what I'm looking for here tbh, maybe just a hand-hold or just (brutally) honest opinions, but I'm just feeling a bit weird about a Zoom call I had with my DS' history tutor yesterday. I might be overreacting but it's just left a bad taste in my mouth.

Me and DH decided to get DS a tutor for GCSE History. He's in Year 11 and he's had a bit of a shit time with the course. When he was choosing his options in year 9, his history teacher did recommend that he do geography instead because his essay-writing and memory surrounding dates was not good (he did roughly the same in terms of achievement in both history and geography). The thing is he is interested in it, but he just can't remember key dates very well. The thing is he wants to do history at A Level. I feel bad for him because he likes the subject, but he's just not very good at it and obviously that's problematic if he is considering this subject as a potential academic or career pathway.

So we meet this tutor and he says in our initial meeting with him that tutoring is to complement ongoing revision. I don't agree with this because I view tutoring as teaching my DS how to revise. The tutor says that he likes to do a baseline assessment with the students so he can determine their areas they need work on, which again I found a bit overkill because why are you already testing DS when you haven't taught him how to revise yet?? We scheduled a lesson for later that week, but DS was running a little bit late as he'd woken up late so we only had 30 minutes of a lesson with the tutor (it's all done on Zoom). DS thought he had been working on the Cold War that week in school and so the tutor set him some questions on the Cold War. DS, bless him, really struggled with the first question so didn't have time to look at the rest of the questions. The tutor ran through the questions with DS, and that was when DS realised he hadn't actually done the Cold War and he'd gotten the name confused with something else.

The tutoring has been going on for 2 months, and the tutor scheduled a Zoom call with me to basically tell me that we may want to reconsider choosing History as an A Level option. This really caught me off guard, and it came across as him telling me how to parent my child! He said that there are loads of issues regarding essay-writing and analysing sources and interpretations, and whilst he is totally happy to support DS with this he can't ignore the fact that if these skills aren't being mastered in Year 11 history then this is going to severely set DS back when he starts Year 12. I ask the tutor about what revision methods he has taught DS, and the tutor said that the subject knowledge is a key area of weakness, and DS apparently said to him that he doesn't make notes in the lessons because his teacher isn't good. I said to the tutor that I think DS just needs to be taught how to create his own quizzes, and how to create flashcards and mindmaps. The tutor said that with mocks coming up those "knowledge gaps" need to be filled in. But I'd prefer him to prioritise teaching DS how to revise history, and if I'm asking for a particular service surely I should receive it?

So, AIBU to think this tutor has a bit of an attitude and is overstepping the mark a bit? I don’t need him to tell us which subjects DS should or shouldn’t do at sixth form, I just want him to teach DS how to revise properly!

I'm wondering the same. I think the OP is being overbearing and wanting a certain narrative for her son that he quite clearly isn't capable of, or wants. Pushy parents will always make the kids rebel or not care.

I suspect we are flogging a horse that wasn’t even alive in the first place here

This is clearly a windup about parents who think they know best 'i work in a school, not a teacher, but know teachers'. 'already gone through 2 tutors'. Nicely drip-fed though for maximum comedic value😂

To be fair, I've really enjoyed reading it!

I am unfollowing this thread as OP is obstinate and totally delusional.

I'm quoting myself here. Of course I meant I don't want to be unkind.

Everything he is doing sounds right, you are just assuming your child is a genius.

Well, they also show their ignorance ... What the tutor is doing is absolutely standard. @SoCloseToNothing1981 is questioning his approach when it's clear she knows very little about studying, studying history, and techniques of teaching, and learning.

People need to understand that teaching is only one part of the equation: a student needs actively to learn. The OP's DS is not actively learning - not knowing what subject he's studying is just one example, not taking notes is another.

And the OP is aiding & abetting this laziness and lack of engagement,.

But all of that said, this really was a good punchline:

I’ve got friends who are teachers and I hear a lot from them about teaching

At least the OP didn't say " ... so I know a lot about teaching."

The point about the tutor not being a teacher is what this boy needs is teaching. He of course, also needs to know some history. And probably support with some sort of currently undiagnosed SEN.

The student will know the history.
He won't know how to teach a low ability / SEN child.

This is a very specialised intersection of the ven diagram of teaching / knowledge / specific ability to support SEN. Most teachers don't fit into that category and will only fit teaching/knowledge. A university student will only fit one of the criteria, knowledge.

To be very very fair to the student, they are taking on a LOT and prepared to put the time in with this boy. But it sounds like a thankless task to me.

And probably support with some sort of currently undiagnosed SEN.

I think that's a reach, from a few sentences on the internet, given that it doesn't appear to have been suggested by the student's own teachers before.

Other than in the very worst cases, schools do not suggest SEN due to the current SEN crisis (schools are generally regarded as being at breaking point due to the underfunding and the explosion of SEN).

If I were that boys mum, he would have had a private assessment done a minimum of 5 years ago, given the level of his under achievement. If he's just low ability, fair enough. But if he has some unsupported SEN, this could have been nipped in the bud way before this stage. At the very minimum an SEN qualified tutor.

agreed! Teetering on the edge of (delusional) plausibility.. clearly a mastercraftsperson who has suffered on the edge of such parental inanity...'very good at other thing, 'looking to get a 6 in english', 'great at maths, when he tries 😹

Though numerous teachers on this thread have attested that there are indeed parents like this!

Of course there are parents like this but the execution is very telling!

I dont think OP has said DS is SEN.

@ClawsandEffect - the OP is expecting him to do A-levels (god knows how, with 2s and 3s in recent assessments) and hasn't suggested any additional needs.

He does sound spectacularly lazy, though. Doesn't take notes because "the teacher is crap"? Pull the other one, sunshine.

This with bells on. You may think what I’m saying is outdated as I sat my standard grades (Scottish equivalent of GCSES) 25 years ago and our grades ran from 1-7 with a 1 being a high pass and 7 being a fail. I got grades 3 or 4 in all my exams which would not have been good enough for me to sit Highers (A levels). I left school after sitting my standard grades and instead applied for an access to childcare course as at 16 I really wanted to work in a nursery.

I think this ultimately sounds like it might be a better route for your son too either finding a college course or trying to get an apprenticeship after his GCSES. I would figuratively kick your son up the backside and try and encourage him from now to start trying to take notes. As someone who is ND and struggled with this myself I know it isn’t always easy. I would take down everything that I thought was important and then check my notes against a study guide to make sure I hadn’t missed anything important. I would also take the tutor up on his offer for extra help with the knowledge gaps as only once your son has that can he try to learn and then revise from it. You need to encourage him to focus on his education now as while you can go back to it at any age it is definitely easier if you don’t also have a mortgage/rent, bills and childcare to consider.

Because it's impossible to make a mind map if you don't know any of the key information to put in it. The tutor could teach your son to make a mind map but it sounds as if your son wouldn't be able to fill it in with any information. Therefore, the tutor teaching him revision techniques is useless if he doesn't have any knowledge to revise.

No idea whether this is real.

If it is: prioritise cricket and down time and save your money on history tutors. DS may as well bin history altogether as he doesn’t even have notes - he has nothing to write essays or revise from. He’s not as interested as you think he is and he has no idea how to study. Just focus on the GCSEs he might do ok in.

I reckon the OP will reveal that the tutor is studying for a PhD any minute now.

Correction, they could have an up to date knowledge of the curriculum that applied to that part the exam board syllabus that their school used and that their teacher taught. They won’t have any understanding of the parts of the curriculum not on the syllabus, or that their teacher decided to ignore, they also won’t have an understanding of the mark scheme, how answers are marked and weighted, or of how to fix problems which as bright students they have never encountered ( if you find something easy it is often hard to break it down for someone else to grasp) they won’t have easy access to additional materials, to extension materials which could give a bright pupil the edge. They will be regurgitating their notes, so any errors they made which have not been picked up will be passed on. The pupil receiving the regurgitated notes will not have the wider background that the notes were condensed from, they will be parroting someone else’s notes and will be unlikely to have enough flexibility in their understanding to compare, to contrast, to explain. Weak candidates will not be strengthened on weak foundations.

But you're assuming they won't have taken the trouble to inform themselves about these areas and get up to speed with the syllabus. Good ones do this.

... but if she's on the ball, she'll claim it's science-based.

TLDR alert ... This has taken me back to O-levels when the entire class failed Geography because the only male teacher in a girls' grammar school had taught us entirely the wrong syllabus. We learned about nothing but the coalfields of Yorkshire, only to be faced with questions about Canada and Australia. Indeed, we had spent the 4 years I was there learning about little else. We got B+ for essays containing absolute garbage - it became competitive, and my best friend once included an entire paragraph about looking out of her window and seeing the "skellingtons" dancing on the lawn. She got a B+. No amount of tutoring would have saved us, unless the tutor had the sense to look at the syllabus!

I remember some sort of exit interview with the headmistress (my family was moving away), during which she mentioned that the Geography results had been "very odd". Anyone could have told her why, but didn't care. Apparently I had got the best grade - a 7, on a scale of 1 being highest and 9 being lowest, so the reverse of the current numbering scheme. This was 100% thanks to my primary school education. It was still a fail, though.

I think it’s misleading to talk, as PPs have, about “real tutors” as tho it were a qualification. It’s not. Anyone can say they are a tutor. Someone who has recently sat the exams and done well may be a good person to support a YP to do well too. I speak btw as a qualified, experienced classroom teacher who is also an experienced examiner in my subject.

But I agree with @viques that this uni student may well not have the knowledge needed or the ability to work with a weaker candidate. And especially since we are talking history, where there are many many possible topics and these vary from board to board. If it was MFL or maths it would be a somewhat different story I guess tho even then, you'd need to be sure the exam spec knowledge was there and correct.

I agree with a PP though that it shouldn’t be the focus here. The OP if they ever come back needs to look closely at the DS's grades in other subjects.