AIBU to think this tutor has an attitude?

[SoCloseToNothing1981]

First time posting on here (long-time lurker). I'm not sure what I'm looking for here tbh, maybe just a hand-hold or just (brutally) honest opinions, but I'm just feeling a bit weird about a Zoom call I had with my DS' history tutor yesterday. I might be overreacting but it's just left a bad taste in my mouth.

Me and DH decided to get DS a tutor for GCSE History. He's in Year 11 and he's had a bit of a shit time with the course. When he was choosing his options in year 9, his history teacher did recommend that he do geography instead because his essay-writing and memory surrounding dates was not good (he did roughly the same in terms of achievement in both history and geography). The thing is he is interested in it, but he just can't remember key dates very well. The thing is he wants to do history at A Level. I feel bad for him because he likes the subject, but he's just not very good at it and obviously that's problematic if he is considering this subject as a potential academic or career pathway.

So we meet this tutor and he says in our initial meeting with him that tutoring is to complement ongoing revision. I don't agree with this because I view tutoring as teaching my DS how to revise. The tutor says that he likes to do a baseline assessment with the students so he can determine their areas they need work on, which again I found a bit overkill because why are you already testing DS when you haven't taught him how to revise yet?? We scheduled a lesson for later that week, but DS was running a little bit late as he'd woken up late so we only had 30 minutes of a lesson with the tutor (it's all done on Zoom). DS thought he had been working on the Cold War that week in school and so the tutor set him some questions on the Cold War. DS, bless him, really struggled with the first question so didn't have time to look at the rest of the questions. The tutor ran through the questions with DS, and that was when DS realised he hadn't actually done the Cold War and he'd gotten the name confused with something else.

The tutoring has been going on for 2 months, and the tutor scheduled a Zoom call with me to basically tell me that we may want to reconsider choosing History as an A Level option. This really caught me off guard, and it came across as him telling me how to parent my child! He said that there are loads of issues regarding essay-writing and analysing sources and interpretations, and whilst he is totally happy to support DS with this he can't ignore the fact that if these skills aren't being mastered in Year 11 history then this is going to severely set DS back when he starts Year 12. I ask the tutor about what revision methods he has taught DS, and the tutor said that the subject knowledge is a key area of weakness, and DS apparently said to him that he doesn't make notes in the lessons because his teacher isn't good. I said to the tutor that I think DS just needs to be taught how to create his own quizzes, and how to create flashcards and mindmaps. The tutor said that with mocks coming up those "knowledge gaps" need to be filled in. But I'd prefer him to prioritise teaching DS how to revise history, and if I'm asking for a particular service surely I should receive it?

So, AIBU to think this tutor has a bit of an attitude and is overstepping the mark a bit? I don’t need him to tell us which subjects DS should or shouldn’t do at sixth form, I just want him to teach DS how to revise properly!

A lot of people saying he's not a real tutor, he's only a university student.

There a lot of posters saying he is not a teacher only a uni student, therefore not a proper tutor.

This is an absolutely batshit post. If you are actually real OP then forget the history. I say this as someone with a GCSE and A Level in history. No-one has ever asked for it. English and Maths yes. Science also especially if you want to go into that field. Find out how your son is doing in these core subjects and focus on such.

So that's where that 1% is.

Sorry but you come across as clueless on the education front

OP did DS ask for a tutor/support from you with history?

Quite a lot of tutors are a level and university students - and it sounds like for someone whose baseline knowledge is there they are perfect for working through how best to answer questions and structure them and what to look at in sources.

for the right pupil he sounds as if he could get the 5/6 up to a 7-9

my Dad (retired history teacher and examiner) helped DD no end with what to look for and how to structure and he brought her up

The OPs son has none of that and no indications that a levels are the right route at all

The only person who has said this is the OP.

Tutoring by a university student is perfectly reasonable. Their actions, which have had overwhelming support, are based on his those reported by the OP.

A university student can be a real tutor. It's a thing.

Of course a university student is perfectly good option but OP was not the posters criticizing a university student being a tutor

"So, you’ve picked a tutor who is a university student and not a qualified and experienced teacher. "
"So the tutor isn't an actual tutor just an 18 to 21yo doing some tutoring while at Uni?"
"OK. I hold my hands up. Just reread ALL of this thread. Your tutor is a uni student? SO basically not even a qualified teacher?"

"Almost a perfect ending to the sorry tale! Let’s hope the tutor/student was doing the same syllabus/ same exam board and kept all his notes, because it doesn’t sound as though either the tutor/student or the OPs child have the foggiest idea what they are doing."

This was just a quick search

That's not insulting
It's a fact

What an arrogantly-worded post.

No. It is a fact that he is a student. Being a student doesn't mean that he is not a real tutor.

but it isn’t - the world of tutors now is a LOT of University and A level students - because as I said their skill set is very useful for bringing up a couple of grades. DD is ex grammar and a lot there used ex pupils and it cycled through really as people graduate new ones start. And it works because the baseline is a 6/7 and getting them to an 8/9 is fine

And given how the OP thought the job would be it makes sense he would take it

They are not trained teachers though. Dd1 had a grad student helping her with maths in early years of secondary but as GCSEs approached she actually asked us for someone more qualified. We found a retired head of maths who tutored her. She got a 7 which was amazing for her (8s and 9s everything else she’s always struggled with maths).

I think it depends on the fit. what the OP sold the job as being fits what it actually is doesn’t.

although I am not convinced history should be the focus

Cogent English would help your point here.

Doesn't mean they wouldn't be competent tutors.

More to the point, is there anything that the tutor advised that was wrong?

Thought not.

In defence of OP, I am guessing she was born in 1981. I think people born in 1981 could leave school at 16, which she probably did.
Without being unkind, her parents probably took very little interest in her education. She has probably not taken much interest in her son's education for the past 16 years - hence she hasn't been aware of what he's been up to at school and the grades that he has been achieving. All of a sudden, she has woken up. Maybe she has heard someone else boasting about their wonderful child, or parents' whatsapp chatter. Panic stations!!
I sometimes think it is cruel to keep kids in education until they are 18. In 1981, this boy would have left school at 16, got a job or an apprenticeship; he would be earning money and would be far happier. Not everyone is meant to study until they are 18.

I don't think it's an age thing a few of DD2 friends and parents had a shock over what was next - some very late in Y11. Plus here in wales you can still leave education at 16 - it's a devloved matter but most do something more.

Looking now is good - college open days are happening now onwards and there maybe local careers services - there's time to give a kick up arse for Y11 slacking off so they know what they need - and to have a few plans going forward.

Don’t really agree with any of this. I was born in the mid-80s and my parents who were born in the 60s were both still very invested in my education. That’s a personality and values thing, not an age thing. I also take an active interest in my own child’s education, despite having the option to leave school at 16 if I’d wanted to (I didn’t).

Also, your post implies that A-Levels are OP’s DS’s only option and that just isn’t true. If he was so inclined there are many apprenticeships and/or vocational study options he could pursue instead. If OP was a realist, she would have already been encouraging him in that direction.

I wrote it just before a fitness class in a rush!

Whether the tutor is a university student or a fully qualified teacher isn't really the point. The OP has criticised the tutor's strategy for helping her son. However, the tutor's assessment of the son's needs seems to be identical to teachers at the school who have already advised OPl. That suggests the tutor is on the right path. Nothing OP has said in her posts suggests any failure by the tutor. They do, however, suggest plenty of failing by the OP, her son and her DH. This kind of head in the sand denial isn't uncommno unfortunately. It will be the school and/or tutor's fault when her son doesn't get the grades he wants because that's how this will end.
University students make great tutors for lots of reasons. They're just out of the GCSE/A Level process themselves, they've done all the strategies, they remember it all. They are probably tutoring the same subject they're studying themselves so will have good subject knowledge. They got good enough grades to get into university so they've demonstrated they know what they need to do.
They also probably really need the money which would explain why this poor tutor is still battling away trying to help OPs son. But a tutor is a support role, the real work has to come from the student themselves.

In order to be able to revise a subject.... you need to KNOW the subject.

If your son has massive knowledge gaps... flashcards and revision tips aren't going to help.