AIBU to think this tutor has an attitude?

[SoCloseToNothing1981]

First time posting on here (long-time lurker). I'm not sure what I'm looking for here tbh, maybe just a hand-hold or just (brutally) honest opinions, but I'm just feeling a bit weird about a Zoom call I had with my DS' history tutor yesterday. I might be overreacting but it's just left a bad taste in my mouth.

Me and DH decided to get DS a tutor for GCSE History. He's in Year 11 and he's had a bit of a shit time with the course. When he was choosing his options in year 9, his history teacher did recommend that he do geography instead because his essay-writing and memory surrounding dates was not good (he did roughly the same in terms of achievement in both history and geography). The thing is he is interested in it, but he just can't remember key dates very well. The thing is he wants to do history at A Level. I feel bad for him because he likes the subject, but he's just not very good at it and obviously that's problematic if he is considering this subject as a potential academic or career pathway.

So we meet this tutor and he says in our initial meeting with him that tutoring is to complement ongoing revision. I don't agree with this because I view tutoring as teaching my DS how to revise. The tutor says that he likes to do a baseline assessment with the students so he can determine their areas they need work on, which again I found a bit overkill because why are you already testing DS when you haven't taught him how to revise yet?? We scheduled a lesson for later that week, but DS was running a little bit late as he'd woken up late so we only had 30 minutes of a lesson with the tutor (it's all done on Zoom). DS thought he had been working on the Cold War that week in school and so the tutor set him some questions on the Cold War. DS, bless him, really struggled with the first question so didn't have time to look at the rest of the questions. The tutor ran through the questions with DS, and that was when DS realised he hadn't actually done the Cold War and he'd gotten the name confused with something else.

The tutoring has been going on for 2 months, and the tutor scheduled a Zoom call with me to basically tell me that we may want to reconsider choosing History as an A Level option. This really caught me off guard, and it came across as him telling me how to parent my child! He said that there are loads of issues regarding essay-writing and analysing sources and interpretations, and whilst he is totally happy to support DS with this he can't ignore the fact that if these skills aren't being mastered in Year 11 history then this is going to severely set DS back when he starts Year 12. I ask the tutor about what revision methods he has taught DS, and the tutor said that the subject knowledge is a key area of weakness, and DS apparently said to him that he doesn't make notes in the lessons because his teacher isn't good. I said to the tutor that I think DS just needs to be taught how to create his own quizzes, and how to create flashcards and mindmaps. The tutor said that with mocks coming up those "knowledge gaps" need to be filled in. But I'd prefer him to prioritise teaching DS how to revise history, and if I'm asking for a particular service surely I should receive it?

So, AIBU to think this tutor has a bit of an attitude and is overstepping the mark a bit? I don’t need him to tell us which subjects DS should or shouldn’t do at sixth form, I just want him to teach DS how to revise properly!

Tell me you’re not a teacher without telling me you’re not a teacher 😂

turning up late, demanding revision techniques rather than building a knowledge base 🤦‍♀️

It doesn’t address the immediate issue of getting a decent grade at GCSE but what is wonderful about history is how many books and resources are available which means he can just enjoy it as a subject without having to study it.

As a history graduate who hasn’t used the degree itself in life I would say this is the best route to follow. Focus on the subjects that you can do well in, and might lead to a decent career and leave history as an extra curricular, purely enjoyment subject.

You can only revise a subject if you learnt it in the first place. If your son has "knowledge gaps" it sounds like he isn't absorbing the knowledge from his school classes to start with, so how can he revise something he doesn't know? And it sounds like you want the tutor to teach your son skills to learn and retain the subject matter from the outset, not just to revise it?

Your son has my utmost sympathy. I did history at A level and really struggled stepping up from O-level to A-level requirements and eventually failed it. A-level isn't just remembering history as a narrative of events, you're supposed to be able to analyse causes or outcomes and give your opinion. I had difficulty remembering dates, identifying the relevant parts to support an argument and not just recite a timeline, and I couldn't understand how I, as a 16 year old student, was supposed to form knowledgeable opinions on subjects that professional historians spent their whole careers researching. Why were they asking me what the causes of the English Civil War were? Go and read a book by CV Wedgwood - she's the expert!

If the tutor is saying A-level History isn't suitable for your son, it's because he knows what's required for studying at that level, not questioning your parenting skills.

It's interesting because I spoke with my friend this week who's a teacher. She doesn't teach history but still it's good to have her opinion.

She said she completely agrees with me that revision techniques are important, and she gave me an example she did with her own class where she set her year 10's a task where they had to make a mind-map of key themes from An Inspector Calls and then use it to plan an essay. She said even her weaker students improved loads because they could visualise the connections between characters and themes. That's exactly what I've been trying to get this tutor to do! I don't see why it's so hard to integrate something like that into a history topic and then create an essay plan afterwards. I mentioned this in the call I had yesterday with the tutor, and he was fixating on how he is not confident of DS hitting his target grade of a 5 in his mocks in December!

I'm not saying my friend is some sort of education guru, but it does beg the question of whether we're dismissing revision techniques.

I still think there's a bit of a difference between tutoring and just telling someone they're bad at essay writing, and I feel like I'm going round in circles trying to explain this to the tutor.

Why don't you totor your kid yourself if you know that much about how it should be done?

He actually does really well in other subjects which is why I find this whole situation frustrating.

In English he's predicted a 6, and he's quite creative when it comes to writing. He's good at Science when he's interested and he's okay at Maths.

I just don't see why history has to be treated like some impossible subject when surely if someone knows how to revise efficiently then it's a level playing field.

Just want to add that DD got a fairly effortless 8 in their GCSE but struggled with the transition to A level for the first term or two and similarly to studying it at uni. I think it’s not the subject for him

It sounds like this tutor is not for you OP.

It's pretty clear you want someone to reach your DS how to revise. The tutor has been really clear upfront that is not his role and "tutoring is to complement ongoing revision".
By your admission, DS isn't good at revising and doesn't make notes. He needs to be taught the basics before attempting to prigress further.
This is not the tutoring relationship for you. He's not an unreasonable tutor, he just tutors history not revision.

But when you looked for a tutor did you specify you were looking for one who specialises in revision techniques and mind maps and the like - or just look for a history tutor??

But it sounds like your tutor's point is that even if he suggested your son make a mind map of key events leading to an important historical event, your son wouldn't be able to do it because he lacks fundamental knowledge, doesn't make notes in class, can't analyse the information and can't assess sources. It's a bigger problem than a mindmap can solve.

Agree with PPs that what you're describing is a study skills tutor - perhaps you should look for one if you really think that's the issue.

What's your son like in his other subjects? Is it just history where there is a blind spot or is he struggling across the board?

Schools have been teaching GCSE students revision techniques for decades - quite why you think a private tutor would do this is beyond me.

Your son is so disinterested that he can't even remember the topic they're currlooking at and slept in for his first tutor session - please explain what makes you think he even likes history?

Every sentence of this just made it worse! Poor tutor is being honest (where he well could just keep quiet and take your money). That's not being rude, it's just being honest. He will have worked with potentially 100s of students with varying degrees of skill/knowledge and has observed that your son lacks necessary skills to excel as the learning expectations grow harder.

I'd have an attitude if the pupil was 30 mins late for the first lesson because they slept in, it doesn't really demonstrate a good work ethic going ahead! On top of that, giving the tutor the wrong information about what he's been studying wasted his (and ultimately, your son's) time.

Regardless of whether the tutor "has an attitude" or not, it sounds like he's not a fit for your what your son needs. As others have suggested, look to get a study skills tutor if you feel he needs to improve on his revision skills but it may just be that history isn't for your son as a long term plan.

Tutor is not the problem here.
Using a baseline assessment is EXACTLY what a tutor should do! Also, not having the charger and sleeping in are terrible excuses for being late and you should have been on at DS to get his act together.

The tutor sounds completely professional and realistic on the feedback he has provided. You need to listen to him. If your DS lives history why not let him go along to local history societies or other groups where he can do this as a hobby and support your son in gaining qualifications in subjects where he stands a chance of achieving a decent grade.

Your friend’s advice only works because her students have that subject knowledge to start with and revise and build on the knowledge. If you don’t know anything then flash cards (which you really don’t need to pay a tutor to be able to create - use the internet and ChatGPT) will be absolutely pointless. Plus if he can’t write essay answers then how will he manage the exam?

she gave me an example she did with her own class where she set her year 10's a task where they had to make a mind-map of key themes from An Inspector Calls

Sit your son down and ask him to make a mind map of key themes from whatever topic he is currently studying in history. If he can do that, maybe you have a point.

But the tutor is telling you your son doesn't have the fundamental knowledge required to be able to practice revision techniques.

You need to know the stuff in the first place in order to be able to revise it!

(Oh, and not being ready to start because you can't find the laptop charger is not good. That sort of thing should be sorted the night before if it's a morning session.)

Going to leave the thread as your denial is off the charts.

“Look I spoke with a friend who completely agreed with my opinion” despite 2 independent professionals telling me otherwise and all the data supporting their view.

But no, if only they did mind maps.

i very much doubt he would be able to do History at A level with a grade 5

Two professionals with knowledge of teaching GCSE and A Level History are telling your son not to take it at A Level. I think you would be mad not listen to them. If he’s good at other subjects, tell him to take them. Nothing to say that this needs to be the end of his interest in history, he can still learn for enjoyment.

He doesn’t have the skills required, school have told you this, and now the tutor is, they can’t even remember what they have been taught!
Listen to them, your child needs to do another subject unless failing is their aim.

@SoCloseToNothing1981 I taught history for 12 years and when it comes to GCSE I agree being taught how to revise is paramount, however, revision comes after the content has been taught/learned sufficiently. It seems that your son isn’t at the revision stage yet which is fine, perhaps concentrating on content for a few months will help?

Being blunt op if it gets to Easter and his knowledge gaps are still the same history a level won’t be for him. See how he goes in his mocks. Also sign up for Seneca if he hasn’t already, a great revision tool.
senecalearning.com/en-GB/

By the sound of it, the decision will be out of his hands because I seriously doubt he'll get a good enough grade next summer.

Omg you have hired a professional to do a job but you think you know better. How can you revise something that you haven't even yet learnt. Stop being a nightmare parent and listen to the tutor.

Revision requires extant knowledge. It is RE-vising.
I would be disappointed if the tutor wasn't doing revision skills and practice at the end of a unit however a full unit needs to be covered first. Have they done this?

And your question about why History needs to be treated differently to other subjects is that in current GCSEs it is very different. In English, Maths and Science there is a big focus on skills and the ability to synthesise information. In History the current setup is know this textbook inside out so you can write about it in detail and use skills to analyse it. You cant really revise skills without just doing endless exam questions.

I do see your point about baseline assessments but I just feel like it could have been done after teaching him some strategies rather than at the very start of the tutoring journey.

As for the charger and being late, yes, I did talk to him about being more organised but the he had been up early the day before to revise.

I appreciate your point about hobbies. That said, I really think the key is that he learns how to revise properly. If he masters that, I genuinely think he can catch up on the subject knowledge.

I have sent the tutor a sample mind-map template my friend uses with her class as I thought it might help him see what I mean. He hasn't replied yet, which again is frustrating.

Getting a 6 for English would tell you that essay writing is not a strong skill for them.