AIBU to think this tutor has an attitude?

[SoCloseToNothing1981]

First time posting on here (long-time lurker). I'm not sure what I'm looking for here tbh, maybe just a hand-hold or just (brutally) honest opinions, but I'm just feeling a bit weird about a Zoom call I had with my DS' history tutor yesterday. I might be overreacting but it's just left a bad taste in my mouth.

Me and DH decided to get DS a tutor for GCSE History. He's in Year 11 and he's had a bit of a shit time with the course. When he was choosing his options in year 9, his history teacher did recommend that he do geography instead because his essay-writing and memory surrounding dates was not good (he did roughly the same in terms of achievement in both history and geography). The thing is he is interested in it, but he just can't remember key dates very well. The thing is he wants to do history at A Level. I feel bad for him because he likes the subject, but he's just not very good at it and obviously that's problematic if he is considering this subject as a potential academic or career pathway.

So we meet this tutor and he says in our initial meeting with him that tutoring is to complement ongoing revision. I don't agree with this because I view tutoring as teaching my DS how to revise. The tutor says that he likes to do a baseline assessment with the students so he can determine their areas they need work on, which again I found a bit overkill because why are you already testing DS when you haven't taught him how to revise yet?? We scheduled a lesson for later that week, but DS was running a little bit late as he'd woken up late so we only had 30 minutes of a lesson with the tutor (it's all done on Zoom). DS thought he had been working on the Cold War that week in school and so the tutor set him some questions on the Cold War. DS, bless him, really struggled with the first question so didn't have time to look at the rest of the questions. The tutor ran through the questions with DS, and that was when DS realised he hadn't actually done the Cold War and he'd gotten the name confused with something else.

The tutoring has been going on for 2 months, and the tutor scheduled a Zoom call with me to basically tell me that we may want to reconsider choosing History as an A Level option. This really caught me off guard, and it came across as him telling me how to parent my child! He said that there are loads of issues regarding essay-writing and analysing sources and interpretations, and whilst he is totally happy to support DS with this he can't ignore the fact that if these skills aren't being mastered in Year 11 history then this is going to severely set DS back when he starts Year 12. I ask the tutor about what revision methods he has taught DS, and the tutor said that the subject knowledge is a key area of weakness, and DS apparently said to him that he doesn't make notes in the lessons because his teacher isn't good. I said to the tutor that I think DS just needs to be taught how to create his own quizzes, and how to create flashcards and mindmaps. The tutor said that with mocks coming up those "knowledge gaps" need to be filled in. But I'd prefer him to prioritise teaching DS how to revise history, and if I'm asking for a particular service surely I should receive it?

So, AIBU to think this tutor has a bit of an attitude and is overstepping the mark a bit? I don’t need him to tell us which subjects DS should or shouldn’t do at sixth form, I just want him to teach DS how to revise properly!

How will he catch up with no notes?

As someone who runs a tuition company, you can’t revise if you don’t have the knowledge first!
number 1 is ensuring subject knowledge and content is understood. You can’t revise (aka go over and be confident in) a topic you aren’t familiar with.
we always do a baseline assessment, so we know where to target the teaching.

Doesn't mean that he will make a successful transition to a level. And it doesn't sound like a 6 is achievable anyway based on the nuggets you have included that weren't attitude regarding telling the tutor how to do his job

I'm a teacher. Believe me it's reality!!

Last years I had a parent tell me off because I set a revision homework based on weak points in the mock exam. I was told it was not my job to tell him what to revise? Who me? The expert?

@ParmaVioletTea there's no need to be insulting, plenty of highly qualified will have worked as receptionists for various reasons

Your tutor is obviously dedicated and passionate about trying to help even the duffers succeed.

Sounds as if this duffer will, metaphorically at least, suffer the fate of duffers. He's already adrift.

Student or not, the tutor seems to be giving exactly the right advice. But he can't force the lad to put in the work, or give him the ability if he hasn't got it.

@SoCloseToNothing1981 you are November of Year 11 and you seem to have no idea what your sons mock grades/predicted grades are and what he wants to do

Stop parenting a child you want and start looking at the one you have and that including focusing on making sure his maths and English are passes and getting him to where he should be

and with respect that isn’t history a level I don’t even think it is A level have you looked at sixth form colleges for him

I really don't think its acceptable to be calling the op's son a duffer. Can this thread not be reduced to insults?

Hah, you’re good at this! Nice one OP. You had us all going for a while.

the tutor sounds reasonable - he has said your DS needs 3 hours a week. Now it’s your decision what is more important, cricket or to pass the exams. If your DS studied more, he could have his downtime instead of needed extra tuition.

I had one parent in tears after her son’s mock results (2&3s). Saying she wasn’t expecting straight 9s but 6-7s. This wasn’t our first conversation or email and had been raised as an issue at his previous school as well.

Parents want their children to thrive and they see the sparkling, joyous young person but can be in denial about academic aptitude.

I think OP enjoys winding people up!

Tutoring is different from teaching. That's not to say teachers can't tutor and tutors can't teach but it's a different skillset with a different purpose.

I am ancient and did history O-level (A grade) and then A-level. It was an enormous stretch. I loved history - still do. Had one of the most inspirational A level English history teachers, had a douche bag European history teacher who believed teaching females was beneath him

I got a B and it drove me nuts for years so I retook my A-level history in my 30s.

From your posts, your son does not have the aptitude, knowledge or interest in history to even pass a GCSE. I'd leave him be. He would be better giving it up and focusing on core skills (English and Maths) to get him to a baseline startong point in life.

It's about him - and not you.

Your attitude to the tutor - no matter what their skill - is appalling. Seems like you are looking for someone to scapegoat.

@SoCloseToNothing1981 you mentioned he is also considering Philosophy. You need similar skills to history in that you need to be able to formulate an argument and put your point across coherently but there may be less volume to memorize than in history.

I think economics is mainly an essay subject too, so if he's lacking basic essay skills, he would also struggle with that.

If all his mocks were 2/3, I'm surprised the school hasn't been in touch to arrange some extra support particularly for Maths and English.

So, you’ve picked a tutor who is a university student and not a qualified and experienced teacher. And you’re saying you know how it works because you work in a school, before saying you work on reception. I’m not being rude but the issue I see here is two people who aren’t teachers clashing over how to teach.

Only the entire history of western thought.....walk in the park.

checking in as thought this must have been deleted by now. Surely this can't be real?

yep, that was the killer post

There's a huge difference in using a uni student to coach from grade B upwards to pretty much starting from scratch.
I might use a handyman to put a shelf up but I'm using a heating engineer to fit my new boiler.

It seems like you are of the opinion that there is some "magical" revision strategy/technique that will compensate for your Ds's lack of notetaking and subject knowledge for the past 1½ years. Unfortunately there is no shortcut here.

Your son needs to decide how much effort he is prepared to put in to get a higher grade in history as it will be a long slog to put together his own notes to revise from. Is he prepared for this level of work? How much of his own time is he prepared to devote to this?

Have you spoken to the school? Would he be better dropping history?

I wonder how far op got with her own education as she seriously misguided on how education works. She seems to think a magic bullet tutor doing the right particular technique will solve everything. Whilst the reality is the lad needs to focus and graft himself.

I'm not insulting receptionists, nor am I insulting the OP.

She shows in every post how little she knows about teaching & learning. It's not insulting to point that out, especially when her ignorance & arrogance about the tutor's knowledge and approach may be damaging her son's education.

The thread is full of people insulting the poor tutor trying to manage this mess, meanwhile.

You're joking. Have you read this thread?

What I see is overwhelming support for what the tutor has done.