AIBU to be upset when Mum's have been banned from my child's team tour?

[Momoftwoscallywags]

I have previously posted that my DS (13 years old) plays a team sport and that his team have had some new coaches this season.

Recently, the usual tour details were posted by one of the new coaches and it was stated that Mum's shouldn't be going on tour, as apparently this is traditional in this particular sport? And that if Dad's couldn't go, and you didn't want your child going alone, then an appropriate male guardian would be acceptable in their place.

Well, as you could image this has caused an up roar and did lead to a last minute change of heart by the coaches but I get the impression that the coaches didn't do this willingly and that they were told to do so by the club, but I am not 100% sure of this.

So now there are no Mum's on this tour and, shockingly, some of the kids haven’t been able to go on the tour because of their personal circumstances.
And, setting aside all the gender discrimination in this situation, it is this which I truly think is the most upsetting part of it all, as team sport should be for all kids and the coaches should be bending over backwards to make this happen for every kid, regardless of circumstances.

They will likely be in a group so having interaction with the entire group of males to some extent.

What can a Dad of another kid bring to the OP's kid. They should absoultely nothing to do with other people's kids.

You have to let your kid be coached by the coaches. Stepping back is how you do that. My son is talented but unless he was coached, he wouldn't be good at his sport. I can't coach him. His coaches can.

Some of the mums at our rugby club are FAR more fun than the dads!!

They shouldn't be.

Back in the day I went on a couple of rugby tours with my son. I think the mixed sex parent group was welcomed by a number of dads, and there were plenty of women propping up the bar when the less ‘up for it’ mixed sex crowd retired to their beds at a ‘sensible time’ each evening.

Lots. Just like a mum can be a positive influence on other people's children.

So why do dad's need to involved then?

Sure. I am all for tours when anyone can go. I can also understand why some might be restricted by sex.

So why can't mum's go then

Yes it would be.

One of the dad's runs my daughters netball club. He's been amazing.

Guessing it’s rugby. It’s a single sex space which is quite justifiable.

What whatsapp group?

Op: other people have alluded to a whstsapp group of this team where parents weren't allowed.

My son's team: I said I am not in it. I dont know about other parents.

With club tours where a child needs to be accompanied by an adult, I cannot see any circumstance where it would be appropriate to specify whether mums or dads should accompany. What do you have in mind?

In reality the majority of girl's sports teams from grass roots to pro have male coaches.

@JadeSquid

So what do they do? Only female coaches allowed.

You haven't actually given any good reason to stop mums SUPPORTING and going on the tour.

on what gronds and as I asked before most of the girls and women's teams have male coaches so what would they do.

And god forbid that the boys team might actually have a female coach!!

If this is the same group where the coaches have already shown a complete disregard for basic safeguarding with the WhatsApp group then there is not a hope in hell my child would be going on a trip with them.

Why on earth is your child still part of the club?

When are people actually going to take safeguarding seriously? You were told numerous times on the WhatsApp thread about how many different safeguarding rules were being breached.

I can. There is a mum in my son's team who I definitely wouldn't to be away with him in certain tour like situations. Especially as he gets towards his later teens and especially if she has had a few bevvies.

Equally, I can think of a thousand dads I wouldnt want away in a hotel with a girls' sports team.

I also generally think a time away for males or females of various ages is a great idea.

What of the coach was female?

I don't think they are banned from games in the tour as supporters. But the tour is likely far from home so not somewhere people are likely to travel to just to watch a single game. I think theyre banned from staying in the hotel or whatever with the team.

If I was 13 and my parents wanted to come away on tour with me (and they weren’t part of the coaching team), I would have died of embarrassment.

This seems to relate to not liking specific individuals rather than there being a sex specific reason for excluding one sex on mass.

No it wouldn’t be ok.

If the coach was of a different sex to the team, it is likely that they either wouldn't have such a tour which would also be fine, or they'd do it where the coach was the only person who didn't fit that agenda but it was still for say, boys from the team and their dads/male supporters to go and socialise with the team (including the female coach)