To think it’s weird when women say they point out pretty women to their men?

[MyAmusedOpalCrab]

I keep seeing women say they’ll nudge their partner and go “she’s stunning” or “look at her body!” like it’s proof they’re confident or chill. And while I get not being insecure, it just feels performative at times, like they’re trying too hard to be the “cool” girlfriend or wife.

What really gets me is you’re not doing the same thing with men. You’re not pointing out hot guys to your man and comparing them to him. So what’s the actual dynamic here?

AIBU to think it’s kind of weird and maybe rooted in something more than just confidence?

Where are you looking to keep seeing women say this?
Why would anyone need to be the “cool” girlfriend or wife with their partner?
How do you know they’re not doing the same thing with men.
Are you worrying about nothing?
Why do you care?

I do this. I just appreciate a beautiful woman or a woman with a great figure or someone impeccably dressed and know my DP will agree 🤷‍♀️ but I’m not ‘comparing’ myself to them so not sure the comment you made about men being compared to said partner?

nonetheless I don’t look at men in the same way 😆 sorry but not as many beautiful men roaming about!

Honestly women are just easier on the eye and often really stunning. I don't think I point it out that much, but sometimes, sure.

Yes. Weird.

It's only done by the coolwife pickme's and boy do they HATE being called coolwife pickme's - which makes it great fun as well as being absolutely accurate.

Do you not think it’s more ‘imagine looking like that?’ We were on holidays and the men and women were stunning and it was hard not to stare!!!!

I don't know OP, it could be just seeing something aesthetically pleasing that stands out to you, a beautiful house, nice scenery, cute animal and your partner just happens to be there when you notice it .
I say whatevers on my mind to my nearest and dearest .

How do you know why they are doing it?
I'm just an oversharer and tell my husband pretty much any thought that goes through my head tbh. If that happens to be 'wow that person is stunning' then that would be something I say I guess

It's odd this gets your back up? Would never occur to me to even give it thought. Why does it bother you?
If it's not something you would like to say ever then just don't.
There's no 'cool' about any of it. People are allowed to conduct their relationships differently, everyone is different.

Because they haven't matured from teenage years is all I can think of or lack intelligence, but we dont have to understand it seems to work for them i suppose

My DH and I have just come back from Rome, where every other person looks like a model. I swear to god, they even manage to rock hi-vis gear over there.

We spent a fair bit of time pointing good-looking or stylish people out to each other. By day three it was more, ‘Oh, come on now! FFS!’ than ‘Phwoar’ though,

I mean, even the priests were hot. Fleabag would have loved it.

No cool wives or husbands here.

Well I am not cool in the slightest but I do sometimes point out an attractive woman to DH. I do also point out attractive men.

We have been married over 40 years and it's something I have always done although it's certainly not a regular thing. I can't see why anyone would see it as a problem.

I’ve never actually seen or heard anyone do this. That said, I don’t really see the issue, although I’m perplexed about how their partner should respond.

I think women are capable of appreciating another woman’s beauty. Nothing about trying to be cool, just noticing and mentioning to someone else. As PP said, like you might point out something else that looks beautiful or interesting. Personally I don’t get out much so don’t have the opportunity for noticing beautiful women or beautiful anything.

How many people’s conversations are you listening to to make this claim?

I mean I will say “god she’s beautiful” if we are discussing someone (this rarely happens as we rarely talk about other people. But DH would think it’s weird if I started pointing out women for us to both ogle at. Dh probably wouldn’t point put a bloke at go “phwoar…check that out!”

I definitely don't do it, I only point out my own beauty to him 😂

I’ve been known to do this on holiday. Earlier this year we were on hols and a few of the young women had on thong bikinis. One in particular had a very perfect bottom. I did point it out to my husband. For balance, I’m also very likely to point out fake boobs and lip filler.

I think it screams worse self esteem issues than not.

I try to point out women's skills though because dd is usually in tow.

I don't see women nudging their partners "saying, wow she's gorgeous" or wow, what a fantastic body". I think you are projecting.

I don't have a problem enjoying beautiful women and men. But I don't nudge my DH as if it's something extraordinary, it's a couple of seconds personal appreciation without needing to broadcast it.

Yep it's bloody odd neither me or my dh do this why would someone want their man looking at another women going oh yeah she's gorgeous pointed out by his wife just weird

I dunno, I'll mention particularly attractive women and men to my DH on occasion and he does the same to me. It's not because we're being cool, it's not even sexual I think its just the same way one might point out anything noteworthy when you're out and about- be it an exceptionally good looking person, a cute dog, a nice window display, an interesting building etc. To quote the internet - it's not that deep.

I don't think its odd at all. I am no oil painting but I am also not so insecure that I can't point out an attractive woman to my DH.

Love that's your relationship if you choose to do that then that's on you just because you think it's ok so fucking what

I agree and think it’s really, really weird. In my DH’s only other ‘serious’ relationship they would do this and so he thought that was ‘normal’ (we were young when we met). I thought then and still think it’s an odd thing to do. To admit you’re looking at other people in that way, to your partner. I also just don’t want to know.

Wow what a lovely person you sound. I thought this was a discussion forum but was obviously wrong.

I do think it is ok as that is exactly what I said. I don't think it's weird but then, also as I said, I am not insecure