To think therapy culture is turning self-reflection into self-obsession?

[MirrorFatigueJay]

It feels like we’ve gone from under-feeling to over-analysing everything. Not every discomfort is a trauma. AIBU to think constant introspection can actually make people unhappier?

i agree.

Well any extreme behaviour isn't good, so yes obviously it can.

People didn’t ‘under-feel’ before they just bottled it up.

While I generally think it’s a good thing for society to be more open and accepting of mental health issues I have concerns that there is now a generation of people who expect to be “happy” ALL THE TIME.

They think that any amount of boredom, stress, worry, anger sadness is indicative of “damage to their mental health” as opposed to just part of normal human experience.

It’s totally fine to be sad, angry, a bit worried stressed sometimes. It’s NORMAL.

I’m also not at all sure that spending lots and lots of time thinking about yourself and how you feel is actually that healthy.

Go read a book, do some exercise or some volunteering. Get outside in nature etc etc. Mostly you’ll feel a bit better afterwards.

I am a therapist, and I am not sure there is a therapy culture. Most people can’t afford regular therapy and they have to contend with long NHS waiting lists. There may be a small number of people who have therapy but don’t need it. If by therapy culture you mean people spouting about self-care on Instagram, then yes that can be self-obsessed and it’s not necessarily making people happier.

In some cases yes I do.

I'm sick of all the tripe that pops up on my Instagram about loving yourself or whatever. And people using the word 'boundaries' to mean having zero obligations to others in any way at all.

I have a friend who is big on therapy and thinks everyone should have it. She tells me she regularly cries through sessions. She’s generally an unhappy person who feels hard done by with everything and is extremely rigid about things. I’d say it hasn’t worked for her.

I'm not exactly sure if it's what you meant, but a trend I've noticed over the last 10 years or so is for some people to want to label themselves and their actions/feelings, and announce those labels to everyone at every opportunity.

Whether it's mental health, neurodiversity, gender, sexuality, politics etc, everyone's looking for a tribe to fit into.

I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing that people who maybe feel they aren't quite 'the norm' are able to find the words to describe it and connect with other people who can relate. You can tell the ones who've completely fallen into the online rabbit hole though.

Absolutely this, from another therapist. Good therapy can be transformative but therapy speak shite on TikTok and Insta aren’t helping anyone, and that’s before we get to people telling their darkest secrets to ChatGPT.

If therapy is making you think every discomfort is a trauma, you don’t have a very good therapist.

I think lots of selfish, self obsessed people use the language of therapy to excuse their behaviour. Its got nothing to do with any process of actual therapy.

Was just about to post this!

Agreed. Also, what therapy encourages constant introspection?

Everyone uses therapy-speak now. I think it's doing real damage to young people, seeing only the worst of everyone and thinking it's because they're so aware and self-reflective or whatever. I see it in a lot of young people labelling the actions of even passing acquaintances as red-flags etc

Where?
Certainly not the UK where you can wait months and years for NHS therapy. And it does not get offered for naval gazing and introspective shite to post on Tik Tok. Some people take their own life whilst waiting for therapy.

This.

I think most people spouting crap on TikTok about their mental health have probably never been near an actual therapist and have just self diagnosed via social media.

It’s the same with bloody perimenopause, it’s great that there is more awareness but everyone on social media seems to be suffering from it, they get younger and younger too, soon we will have perimenopausal teens.

Perhaps teens could start every sentence with 'I'm in puberty so...' in much the same way many women do with their peri/menopause status.

Access to therapy is a huge issue, that part isn’t what I meant at all. I’m talking more about the way therapy language gets used outside of therapy - on social media, in everyday talk, where every feeling or disagreement gets pathologised. It’s not about people who genuinely need help, it’s about how the culture around “doing the work” can sometimes slide into self-absorption.

So essentially you don't like it when people use words they don't understand.

I think if the basics of CBT were taught in school – that thoughts lead to feelings which lead to behaviours but that you can change/disrupt the process – then you'd have much more self awareness within a couple of generations.

I'm not talking about giving children therapy, but helping them to understand how and why people think the way they do; it should be popular subject!

Ah, I see.
I get what you mean there (I think). It seems a lot of normal human interactions are getting pathologised on SM. Saying there are red flags when there are none etc.

CBT is not helpful for everyone though.
Having done DBT a few times, I think some aspects of that would be good to be taught in schools.

There was a post recently from a lady who’d realised she liked women and after a particularly fulfilling therapy session, told her dh. I think you’re so spot on op, while of course it’s needed, it means we start seeing life all about addressing our issues and needs, and forget about the rest of the world

Maths isn't helpful for everyone but it still gets taught.