Partner called me his ex’s name during sex

[Taratalk]

We’ve been together over a year now. Am I right in thinking that’s a major red flag? He said he didn’t mean anything by it and it was an accident.

Accidental or not I would assume she was on his mind in that moment.

Do you really believe it was an accident?

My first thought is he did it intentionally to make you insecure.

And yes, definitely red flag. That's shitty behaviour.

Ouch. Painful. It probably was pure accident, our brains blurt stuff out at intense moments. More importantly, is he sorry for what would obviously hurt you, even though it was accidental?

How long were they together?

I guess it can happen by mistake

If all is generally well I'd let it go, if not you might want to consider your options

Yabu.

It was likely accident yes but I would say there’s a reason. It could be she’s popped back up or he’s thought about her or someone said something recently. It may not be a bad thing though but have a sit down chat and be calm about it to try and let him open up

Didn't mean anything by it isn't an acceptable answer. If he isn't absolutely fucking mortified, bending over backwards to apologise and make it up to you then he's a complete arsehole.

Maybe come back next time with Oh my God (insert name of ex bf) you are HUGE!!!

About 1.5/2 years but very on and off

Absolutely you are right to be worried.

He was thinking about her while he was sleeping with you.

In my past, I have had three boyfriends back to back with very similar names and I manage not to confuse them or call them the wrong name.

Yeah what you want to do.

Nooooooo!

🫣

That’s very cynical!

I’d assume it was an accident. But I don’t understand why he’s using that as a defence. It’s a very revealing and hurtful accident.

Good for you, I guess! I've done it ... I do know why it happened; it was an insignificant sequence of events that were coincidentally the same as at one time with an ex. Brain goes "Ooh, Dave!" before I've even noticed I spoke. Bob none too pleased, I'm squirming.

Why do you think people are always calling their children, pets and partners by each other's names?

Reading the rest of the replies it would seem that I'm in the minority and must be very cynical!

Happy to stand corrected. Hope it is an accident and he is genuinely very sorry.

I dunno, the human mind is an odd thing. A female friend of mine has done this twice to her new partner. She was mortified. She is still with the new partner five years later and very happy, she wasn’t wanting to get back with her ex, she couldn’t explain why it happened.

About a year in (so decades ago now!) I did this. I cannot explain why, ex was an abusive, vile arsehole, I had zero desire to be anywhere near him, ever again. It really did mean nothing. Now DH was obviously not thrilled but he believed me when I said it meant nothing and it never happened again.

Ever had a hot dream about an ex? I think it is like that. Doesn't necessarily mean anything in and of itself. 🤔

Well sorry OP but I would assume because it was her he was fantasising about while he was having sex with you.

Hmm YANBU. I’ve done that myself once. And I was thinking about my ex boyfriend. Luckily, they both had the same name (Rob). True story.

So yes - he was thinking of his ex imo. :(

Id dump.

It would make me feel like a total fuckbucket.

I’ve done it once. Wasn’t thinking about my ex at all. Didjt want back with him at all

it was just automatic pilot. Was so in the moment my brain just made my mouth say the things it used to say.

However I’d only been with the guy a few weeks. Not sure about a year later…

I don't know why you stand corrected.
It never happened to me and never will, I don't have the slightest intention to "date" anyone anymore, but this would be the end for me - now or thirty years ago. 😊

This is why I just call them all babe 😁

I think I jumped to that conclusion because I couldn't imagine anyone actually doing that in real life. But according to this thread, its not uncommon at all! So there you go. I mustn't be letting loose enough. 😂