Partner called me his ex’s name during sex

[Taratalk]

We’ve been together over a year now. Am I right in thinking that’s a major red flag? He said he didn’t mean anything by it and it was an accident.

His mum 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Dave 😂😂😂😂😂

I'll remember this. Great tip😂

Objectively, it's probably not that unusual to fantasise, in the moment, about someone other than the person you're having sex with. I know I have.
Accidentally giving voice to that is unfortunate, of course, but not necessarily the end of the world.

Someone I was seeing did this..called out his ex's name during sex only it transpired she wasn't an ex and they were still together.
Having said that, I was married a long time and have no feelings towards my exdh at all. Quite often I almost say his name rather than my DPs. My DPs Mum frequently calls me his ex's name too, that makes me shudder worse than the one still with his ex for some reason.

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Removing duplicate

Removing duplicate

This is a very common occurrence; so much so that there are scholarly studies on it, and articles/discussions all over the web. It’s usually not nefarious.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/why-we-call-people-the-wrong-name-during-sex/

Forty years ago I called by boyfriend, during sex, the name of my female roommate. Think Sandy instead of Andy. It certainly stopped him in his tracks and I was mortified but we also started laughing, and actually finished off on a good note.

And here’s an amusing twist: “If all else fails, you can at least console yourself by knowing things could be worse: In the Duke study, 42 instances of misnaming involved someone using their pet’s name—in most cases a dog’s—in place of a loved one’s. Though 41 of those cases involved a family member, you can take comfort in knowing you’re probably better off than that one last person.”

I agree it is really easy to do!!! I stick to darling...for everyone. I am terrible with names.

Mood killer 100%. If it happens early in a relationship there's no coming back from it really. If happens in a long term relationship then again there are some deep underlying issues.

Meh. It happens. Doesn’t necessarily mean anything beyond a brain error.

So there's a good mix of

He's a shitbag / I've accidentally done this before

So to conclude he's either a shitbag or it was an accident. You could always flip a coin

I've done this before. Genuine accident and didn't mean a thing.

I did this once but not during sex. It was when DS was a tiny baby and I’d been up all through the night so was knackered, older DC came through to wake us up at like 5am or something and I was really disorientated so turned to DH and said “exes name, can you wake up”. He was really upset and pissed off with me for ages. I was just really disorientated and shattered, it didn’t mean a thing.

I’d guess it’s something like this here. His wires just got mixed up in the heat of the moment.

My DH and I have both done it, early on in our relationship. Not during sex, I don’t think, but I can see how that could easily happen. You’re not exactly thinking at a time like that, are you?

It stings a bit, but you get over it 😂

Not a red flag. I called DH my ex's name albeit not during/after sex. But I do remember saying DH's name silently over & over in my head when we 1st started having sex as I was worried I'd say my ex's name. This has happened to alot of people

No, not necessarily a red flag. DH did the same in the early days of our relationship and called me his ex’s name by accident during sex.
It only happened once and we’ve been together over 20 yrs now.

I’ve been with my boyfriend over 4 years and adore him and I’ve called him my ex’s name. Once in bed. No idea why. Brain fart. Obvs it’s not ideal. But I seriously loathe my ex - I asked for the divorce etc etc.. so no; it wasn’t reflective of some deep seated ongoing desire for my ex. sometimes your brain just does weird shit.

Does he seem genuinely sorry? Other than this does he treat you well OP?

Not the same scenario but I once introduced my husband by my ex husband’s name

(dont’t like the ex and don’t ever think of him.) Also called my husband Rodger …I don’t even know a Rodger 😂…so I don’t think it necessarily means your partner was fantasising about an ex.

My ex frequently calls me ‘babe’ (his gf’s pet name which I hate) and according to chatGPT, it’s emotionally blurred lines.

if he’s not in touch with her and all is well with you both, I’d just see it as a slip
up.

Or maybe...OMG (insert name of ex bf).... you are so much smaller than I remember?? But sorry, (I haven't read all the replies..) I would not be at all immediately forgiving, and would be pretty hurt if this happened to me. 🌹

I was with my ex for 14 years. Been divorced 13 years. Even now I will say his name if I’m arguing with my partner or if I get agitated. I’ve always thought of it as an association thing as my ex really wound me up.
So, if an exes name was said during sex then that would really bother me.

Of course it was an accident. I constantly confuse names. In my childhood home we all went through the names of the whole before finally - weirdly - landing on the one we wanted. Ok, so there is another person who made a mark on him but you are not surprised, are you? Relationships leave traces, it happens. If he says it means nothing, why not believe him? You are just torturing yourself

I have to say there are a lot of people that are saying names during sex.

Why?!

It would be so cringeworthy, I think I d lose all desire for them.