To not want to babysit neighbours kids

[Nevaurs]

Earlier this year, my neighbour asked if I could watch her child who was off school sick while she did took the other one to school. I was starting work late that day so didn’t mind. During the school holidays she asked me another few times if I could come over to watch them for 30 minutes/an hour. Sometimes I had to say I can’t because I’m working but she seems to think that because I work from home, I can just leave. She says “can’t you just take a break?” Or “can’t you just bring your laptop and work from here?”

She has just been offered a part time job and told me that some of her shifts will be late and asked if I could come round to watch her kids when she does late shifts. I really really don’t want to do this. I don’t mind as much when it’s every now and again for half an hour or so but committing to giving up some of my evenings for hours to go and sit with someone’s kids isn’t something I’d like to do. However I feel like I’m being unreasonable as it will really help her out and it’s a kind thing to do so I am on the verge of saying yes even though I don’t really want to. How would other people feel? What would you say?

Just say you can’t.

Do not for one second agree to this

She has used up all her favours from you.

Just explain that you are not able to. No big deal really, she's probably just checking if you're available and wanting to do it.

I’d politely just say no, that you work FT and the down time you have are spent with family and friends.

Hell would freeze over before l agreed to this op.
As soon as you say yes, you'll regret it .
I've gotna CF neighbour too, does my head in cos you can't get away from th

Yeah we’ve got one of these neighbours too, always wanting something from someone. Everyone says no now, just too much.

Say, 'sorry that doesn't work for me' on repeat until she understands you are saying no and never again.

No sorry, I can't commit to that.

More fool you if you agree. Her child care problems are not yours to solve.

Tell her you have been glad to help for an occasional emergency but you are unable to make a regular commitment. Keep repeating yourself if she thinks this opens up a negotiation.

Wouldn't give it a nanosecond of thought. No way on earth would I mind someone's kids.

The entitlement is off the scale. Say nope.

Neighbour?

You married? Is it your kin? did you birth the child?

You need to realise you dont owe this person anything. Its not your responsibility to ensure they have childcare, or that they can work, or that they have income.

There an enormous difference between helping someone out who is really stuck and in the odd time when kids sick

to them taking the piss and regularly relying on you

Is there a reason why you struggle to say no to doing things you don't want to do? Genuine question but can see it sounds rude even though I don't mean it to.

Why is no such a hard word for people to use?

I would say “no”.

No Is a full sentence. You do not need to offer a list of explanations as to why you can’t.

Shes being cheeky and pushing her luck hoping you’ll be a push over.

She's just a neighbour, if she was a friend, maybe you could feel guilty.
Don't do it if you don't want to, it's a huge responsibility looking after someones children something could go wrong while you"re looking after them.
You've been very neighbourly already.She's being cheeky disturbing you working from home.

She’s making her problem your responsibility, but it’s not your problem to solve. Just reply that you can’t commit to her requests, and she’ll have to find alternative arrangements (childminder etc). You don’t gave to explain why, and have stick answers ready.

‘ That doesn’t work for me’ etc,
‘ You to get a childminder’
’I have things planned fir the evening, meeting up with friends etc’

Don’t even compromise with ‘.. unless you’re stuck/in an emergency etc’ because every shift will be an emergency.

You’re already resenting her asking you, so just think how you’ll feel if you do it.

Just say no!

I voted YABU because YABU to consider sating yes to this! She can find a childminder.

Hell no! Don’t do it!

Wow I was really expecting to be told that I am BU here. So that’s made me feel better for saying no (I haven’t replied yet though). I remember when I was sick as a kid and my mum was a single parent, our neighbour would come and watch movies with me so I just have that memory and feel like it’s a nice thing to do, but yes it wasn’t a constant thing, it was just when my mum was stuck occasionally. I feel that this is different and a big ask

There is no world in which it would be unreasonable for you to not to agree to being your neighbours wraparound childcare just because she was cheeky enough to ask you to do it. Just say no - she’ll need to pay for her own childcare or rope family in like every other fucker!

You say no. NO. This is what babysitters and childminders are for. You are neither of those.

If you say yes to this and decide after 6 weeks that it’s a giant pain in the arse (which you will, because it is), it will be much harder to say you have to stop.
Then she’ll make you feel responsible for having to give up her job.
What if you want to go out on an evening when she’s working? Will you just put your social life on hold for her? She’ll make you feel unreasonable for wanting to go out for a drink or to do a late shop. What if you want to go away?
She has weirdly overstepped the bounds of a neighbour relationship in asking you for this but, if say yes, then you will have done that too and getting out of it later is a whole different level of uncomfortable to just saying no now.