Sister has inherited huge wealth. Help

[Hidinginthelootoo]

My sister has inherited huge wealth... multi millions. Through sad circumstances.
Myself, my younger sister and our parents are all struggling money wise, due to poor pay (work two jobs to try to help), sister is divorce, parents just pensioners. I am trying so hard to be happy for her as she spends spends spends, one day she spent £300k! I try to oo and aa over what she buys, but I'm dying inside and drowning at home. Please help me be more positive, or explain nicely how it's making me feel without ruining our relationship.

There must be more to this. Any loving family member would share some of it with you.

Whilst I understand your sentiments- if the OP is raising kids, working 2 jobs, helping her elderly parents and helping her rich sister with odd jobs fir nothing then I'm not sure when she has time to better herself.
She doesn't want money but I expect she also doesn't want to hear about her sisters £300k sports car and holiday home as she gets ready for her second job.
£300k is 10 years salary to many people.
Sister doesn't have to give anybody anything but she doesn't get to lord it and upset ordinary people just because she's a millionaire. I'd be distancing myself from her - to protect myself and my children.
Life isn't fair and we have to accept that but its hard when you're the one struggling and getting the unfair deal.

It would be interesting to get the sister's side of the story. Has it occurred to you that people have the tendency to exaggerate? And would narrate an event based on their perspective. Believe you me, from my experience, no human being would neglect their family after coming across such vast amount of money. Doesn't make make sense, there's more to the story. And do you actually believe they story about a £300k car? Cummon! There's too many issues with op s statement that I would say it's an exaggeration of the facts. Believe you me, I have worked with individuals like that and what I found was, I got to dig deeper, it was often the case that the person making the complaint was the one with issues. Unfortunately majority of people come on mumsnet to seek advice re: issues but they fail to state the facts or they often narrate a story based on their point of view. You are not likely to receive correct advice when you do that

Thank you. Someone who thinks like me. There's too much exaggeration to the story. First of all £300k car? The OP has no grasp of reality. I feel for her but I think the sister might have had enough of supporting people who had no intention to better themselves so she gave up? And she's coming on mumsnet to bemoan the fact that the sister is boasting. I don't believe any of it. Those of you who are feeding the op ego, shame on you for not seeing this story for what it is

Its very clear from the OP that on the day she spent £300k she bought a car AND a holiday home.

And the OP thinks that's spending frivolously? The car might have been an average family car? And 300k on a holiday home home or abroad doesn't buy you much these days. How's that spending frivolously? As I said, she's not telling the entire truth. People are quick to jump to conclusions and start hating on someone they know nothing about, or have never met. I always reserve judgement until ive spoken to the other party. This story doesn't add up. When she originally posted, it was very strongly worded and made it sound like the sister has spent the £300k frivolously. It looks like she's now slowly dripping feeding the facts.

Which is actually not that much for a new car and a holiday home. I'm sure she could have spent twice that without trying hard, and several things mes that if she'd wanted to.
Which makes me suspect that the "flashing money" around is nothing like the impression given.

£300k on a holiday home and a car is not ‘blowing it’ by any stretch of the imagination.

For all we know she’s allowed herself a certain amount to spend/invest, and is saying the vast majority for the children she shared with her ex.

I would be over the moon for my sister and I wouldn’t have to ask for a penny she will give me regardless I hope she gives you some but if she doesn’t that’s ok teach yourself to be happy for her I know it will be hard but envy will eat you up otherwise .

Possibly working 2 jobs, helping her elderly parents and now rich sister for nothing is eating her up?

Agreed its not frivolous.
But I couldn't spend like that whilst my sister struggles working 2 jobs, looks after our elderly parents and helps me out when I'm stuck for nothing without trying to help her out a bit.
OP said her sister's partner wasn't a nice man sounds like he and her sister were well suited.

Honestly if my sister got 10million handed to her and DIDNT offer to give me a few quid I would think she is a miserable swine. She wouldnt do it though and nor would I, it is as simple as that. The fact shes being all showy about it too would leave a bitter taste in my mouth. 10grand yeah do what you like but 10 mill? You would have to be a horrible fucker not to help out your family.

All the OP wants is for her sister to stop showing off her money to those in her close family less fortunate than herself.
Not to much to ask really.

I understand that, I was trying to point out that sister is not so thick to be completely unaware it's grating. We would all know surely?

Personally I wouldn't ask her to stop because I'd assume she already knows she's being insensitive.

The fact of the matter remains that her original post painted her sister as being frivolous with money. And she didn't state how much her sister had inherited. She's since added that her sister had spent £300k but on a holiday home and a car and that her sister had indeed inherited £10 million pounds. Believe you me, if anyone comes accroass £10 million pounds, they wouldn't spend £300k of it on holiday home. A decent holiday home for a millionaire costs far more than that! £300k holiday home doesn't get you very much either here or abroad. Unless she's just making these figures up as she goes along or her sister is not the person she's painted her to me. The more I read about the information she's posted, the more i'm starting to believe that she's actually the nasty one between the 2 of them. She needs to get a grasp of reality. For her sister to inherit £10 million pounds, it suggests that the the deceased husband would have left about £20 million pounds when you take into account inheritance tax etc that has to be paid plus the children's share of the money. Believe you me, not a lot of people living in this country have that sort of money. They are usually past down via trust funds etc. Not left in cash for someone to inherit. This story is just bullocks! Another thing that comes to mind, the sister if married to a multi millionaire, would have been living a millionaire lifestyle anyway prior to the husband's death. OP only talks about her attitude after the husband's death but nothing about her attitude whilst living and married to a multi millionaire. Nothing adds up. Had OP said her sister had won the euro millions and refused to help the family, that would be more believable. Common people, see into the lies! This OP is the one with issues. No one works 2 jobs and have time to look after their family as well as an elderly mother. It's all lies! She's probably a junkie or alcoholic that the sister has gotten fed up of helping so she goes around trashing her name. That's the attitude junkies have. Common people!

Referencing the money is not the same thing as showing it off. Hell, simply being seen driving the car can be perceived as ‘flaunting’ by someone inclined to see it that way.

you said it was gained on the basis of sad circumstances- you do realise she’s probably spending as a coping mechanism. As a way to sort of ‘buy’ happiness. I hate when people play the sympathy card of ‘I’m so poor but they won’t help me’, because where does that person draw the line with helping? If they give all their money away to those in need then they won’t have it for themselves. They’ll help you once then continue to helping and you’ll rely on that. Money and family is complex and I think they’re being sensible

Do you know how investments work or are you venting?

It still doesn't mean that she doesn't need time to process this change in her life and what it means for her and her child.

Hard to believe that anyone could behave like this.

I might actually take as much time to process it if the relationship had been complicated.

The child will struggle with money because his mum’s going to blow his inheritance. It’s sad.

Spending £300k on a house and car isn’t ’blowing through it’. That’s actually a very conservative amount for both.

I think OP said that it was her sister's ex (sepaated not divorced) who had been abusive who had died, so it was no longer someone her sister loved.

You think the OP is a junkie? Amazing!
Some people treat family like shit get over it....