Sister has inherited huge wealth. Help

[Hidinginthelootoo]

My sister has inherited huge wealth... multi millions. Through sad circumstances.
Myself, my younger sister and our parents are all struggling money wise, due to poor pay (work two jobs to try to help), sister is divorce, parents just pensioners. I am trying so hard to be happy for her as she spends spends spends, one day she spent £300k! I try to oo and aa over what she buys, but I'm dying inside and drowning at home. Please help me be more positive, or explain nicely how it's making me feel without ruining our relationship.

Come on. IF this is even true - why does OP need to say anything? Her sister can't be so obtuse she's not aware of how much her behaviour would be grating to those around her.
Seems to me she's not interested in helping out her immediate family, otherwise she'd have already done it, like I feel most normal people would want to. She doesn't care what impact her behaviour is having or she wouldn't be doing it.
Money does change circumstances and relationships, vast wealth creates an imbalance. There will always be that divide now.
Either suck it up or leave sister to her own devices.

There’s no way I could inherit multi-millions and watch my family members live in poverty.

Yanbu to feel this way. Don’t fake oohs and ahs anymore, just say nothing. If she questions why you haven’t said you like the latest purchase, just say you struggle to get your head round spending that much money because it’s way more than you can afford.
Also stop doing her favours when she’s clearly ungrateful and can afford a gardener etc.

If she has multi millions why on earth isn’t she helping family? It would be the first thing I would do but I guess we are not all the same. I’m not surprised you are finding it hard to watch, has she got a history of being completely tone deaf and tactless?

Oh do stop behaving like a twat.

I think op, I'd sit her down and just say to her that you're genuinely really happy for her that she's got this security in her life now and that she and her child won't have to worry about making ends meet, but that you're worried she's not maybe thinking about how she might be coming across when she's talking about her spending with people who are on a tight budget and that if she's not careful that could start to affect her relationships and you dont want that to happen because you love and care about her. If she's not very self aware I'd maybe think of some examples to give her to help clarify it.

A very good way to put it.

Further, some people are being nasty about the OP suggesting that her sister may be on the spectrum but it really is only very recently that Autistic Spectrum issues in women have been taken seriously. And if the sister does have ADHD then financial impulsivity is known to be a problem, which is a worry in this situation. No one is saying "Oh so if she is spending her money she must be ND", but simply suggesting that if she is then she may need extra support to make sure she doesnt a) blow the lot or b) get scammed.

Hidinginthelootoo

If I came into money which ever way it was I would always think to give some to my family. Your sister is thoughtless.

Ask her for money. My sister would ask me and I her.

Although if I came into a million, I'd give my sister a quarter without question.

Might be through her late husband?

I would explain that you need to distance yourself from her as you are not in the same position as her and her tactless acts are upsetting you especially with you struggling.

I’ve had this as a widow. It wasn’t millions but enough to pay towards mortgage

the jealousy was unreal from family and friends - who weren’t struggling

It’s a hard one but she is in a grief response - she will calm down, try having a conversation with her , please don’t swerve or leave her

i had that and miss my friends so much

Honestly - if she’s grieving it would be awful to lose her sister too

when someone you love dies - you aren’t necessarily thinking about others first

Poverty??

The OP lives in a home owned outright as the mortgage has been paid off.........

That's Poverty is it??

I think in CofL & times where people feeling pinch disparities felt much more keenly. Where there’s a Will there’s a family, as they say. Bereavement, even if estranged, means people need some slack cut.

So?
Why does that mean op should have to feign being impressed by her latest purchase?
Why does that mean op should carry on helping her out with gardening that she can now afford to pay someone for?

Also @Amy8 it's not “someone you love” - op has said they were separated and he wasn’t a nice man so op’s sister was actually happy he’d died.

It’s just an explanation for her behaviour- and it doesn’t entitle her to her sisters money

Where did I say she was entitled to her sister’s money? You quoted me saying she shouldn’t feign being excited about the things her sister has bought, and shouldn’t do work for her sister anymore that she’s not even grateful for, because she can afford to pay for someone to do the gardening etc.

Whilst it’s her money to do what she wants with, I can’t imagine having millions and not helping out my family.

Ops mortgage free though. What help does she really need.

If they are struggling with two adults working and no mortgage so better off than most they have racked up some serious debts on credit cards and such.

Not also sensible to pay those off for people. It’s not like ops roof over her head is at risk it’s paid out.

Is your sister meghan markle ?

If she's spending 300k a day she'll run out of money, not this year but maybe in 5 years from now or 3 or 2,
You're right to feel the way you do, 300k shared between you and your family would of been life changing.
We read about lottery winners who burn through it all due to lack of control and no financial intellect, wealth is an energy a frequency and being tight or ungenerous is a low vibe, it will naturally disperse and she better hope her family are still there when she's burnt out.
Be glad your were born the one with a heart and not the one thats an asshole.

I hope she wakes up though.

Hi op this is a horrible situation because she could be like oh jealousy is not a good look on you. I would just smile say lovely and move on if she’s selfish with money she’s not likely to give you any but never say never! once the novelty wears off having bought all the things she can she might change right now she might just be so glad he’s dead and she can afford to waste his money. If it gets too much in a few months just say it’s great you’re a multimillionaire but some of us are struggling to make ends meet maybe less gloating to us would be nice.

I’d have self combusted with jealousy. I freely admit it