Sister has inherited huge wealth. Help

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My sister has inherited huge wealth... multi millions. Through sad circumstances.
Myself, my younger sister and our parents are all struggling money wise, due to poor pay (work two jobs to try to help), sister is divorce, parents just pensioners. I am trying so hard to be happy for her as she spends spends spends, one day she spent £300k! I try to oo and aa over what she buys, but I'm dying inside and drowning at home. Please help me be more positive, or explain nicely how it's making me feel without ruining our relationship.

She's probably not really happy money doesn't make you happy it just makes things a bit easier. Although if she's spending like that millions or not it won't last long. I would personally say I don't want to know what you are spending because as a family were struggling pay day to pay day and parents struggling. Ask her say did you ever think it might be nice to gift your family/ close family a little each to help them get through tough times. I have 4 siblings and if I came into money they would all get some as would my kids step kids mother in law I could not bear to see anyone else struggling who I care about. Perhaps your sister hasn't even thought about it? If she has it's utterly selfish in my opinion.

Totally agree, surely the joy of having a big windfall is helping out family

Not sure you need empathy tbh, you sound like a person who is jealous of there sister and for someone who owns there own home mortgage free has 2 adults working your money is clearly going somewhere because that ain't a struggling couple.. Of your allowing money to come between you and your sister and how you feel then your love for her wasn't real anyhow!!

I take everything back. Is she normally this selfish?
I bet your parents are in shock is she the oldest or youngest. She sounds dreadful.

Just like someone else said, wait until Xmas before you get upset. I cannot imagine ever having over 10m and not giving at least 1m to my nearest and dearest. Surely Xmas will put things in context for her. Please come back at Xmas and tell us she took you all on a round the world cruise.

Well considering you share the sister's view
How selfish of you!
You have multimillions and your parents and sister are struggling financially, and rather than helping them a little, you call them boasting?
Like, I get it you may be grieving a little, but as you know life goes on and your parents could do with a little helping hand.

People really care too much about feelings nowadays, no one owes anyone anything, and everybody has to be happy for everyone else, and they still have to listen to boasts?
sorry if ur gunna call to boast, its gunna cost ya🙄

I'm not saying it's not a lot of money - I could live off that very comfortably! But it's not the sort of money where you can just spend spend spend without thinking for three generations. It still needs to be planned/managed quite carefully.

It also depends massively where you are. Round my parents (North London/Herts) 3M will get you a very standard 1960s suburban 4 bed house (to be knocked down and rebuilt). Where I am, 1.5M would get you a proper luxury manor house with land and half a mile of driveway.

I would have to say something. If she has lost someone close then obviously I wouldn't do so immediately and there are ways to be diplomatic, but if someone can watch their own flesh and blood live in poverty whilst they indiscreetly blow through wealth that is more than enough to last them several lifetimes, then I wouldn't want to remain close to that person.

Whilst you have no expectation to receive her help, unless there is a particular reason such as the family having done something to really hurt her, or someone having an addiction or a gambling problem etc it is a pretty shitty thing to do rubbing this in people's faces who would in all probability extend their hand to her if the situation were reversed.

Whilst she doesn’t have to help anyone financially if she doesn’t want to she really doesn’t need to parade it under your noses like this. If I had this kind of money I would not let my nearest and dearest struggle. The least she can do is be more discreet.

She’s your DSis so challenge her regarding the boasting, as in

“it’s hard to keep get excited about spending on luxury items when others, including our own DP are struggling with the COL.”

“Would you consider using some of the money to support them with X?” (eg their housing costs, or some other expense OP),

“I think you could really make a huge difference to them and how stressed they are”.

I wouldn’t just sit there and smile along OP!

’Im really genuinely happy for you, but I’m struggling to maintain enthusiasm for your new sports car and holiday home because I’m eating beans on toast for dinner… again! Maybe we could talk about something else? “!

I do think part of this depends on what op genuinely means by struggling. Also why are they struggling.

Ops mortgage free two adults working. As I said before I don’t see that as struggling. That’s anywhere between £500-£1,500plus better off than some working poor per month.

Why and how are the parents struggling. Are they also mortgage free? Or are they renting but have huge debts built up. Terrible with money or just unfortunate that say their roof needed replacing and it’s wiped their savings and then some.

Exactly & by that token anyone’s multi mill siblings, banker bros & sis, should surely clear my mortgage if a net worth of 10 mil.

I think it would be polite to say “ hey, I enjoy seeing what you’ve bought, and I know the money came to you in a sad way. I’m not asking you for money, before you think I am, but mum, dad and I are really struggling. It’s not easy watching you have free rein to buy whatever you want, when we can barely afford to buy what we need. Again, I’m not asking for a penny of your money, but could you be a little bit mindful that it does upset our parents to see you spending so much when they are struggling.” You could even ask if she could give them. A small amount to help them for all the support they’ve given you both over the years. it might be the little reality check she needs.

Twat

If I suddenly became a multi millionaire/ billionaire I’d make sure my children were comfortable for life + give generously to particular charities.
I currently live a very ordinary life but I have certain relatives who have been very nasty so they get nothing.
And one or 2 other relatives who have been snippy and invalidated what I’ve been doing and experiencing over many years .
They would also get nothing

If shes gained it through sad circumstances then she deserves to be happy and I suppose theres not much anyone can really say in regards to her spending and not giving it to anyone. Its upto her really what she does with it but her morals are all wrong. Its not something we can change about our family members unfortunately. If it was me, my mum and siblings would also benefit from my wealth but not everyone sees it the same way. Maybe she will come around and try to help a little but in the mean time, only you as her family sees what she went through to gain her wealth and maybe hold that thought when seeing her spending like she does.

She's inherited MILLIONS of pounds and you're struggling for money and she's not giving you a penny?
Jesus Christ.
Insane levels of abominable behaviour.

If your sister hadn't once sat back and taken her immediate family into thought then I wouldnt say absolutely anything hold your head to because you wont struggle always 💯 I hope you find this helpful just treat her as you would without the millions because thats worth more than all the money in the world xxx

And remember this.... A fool and there money are soon parted

why is she not sharing her good-fortune with her family which would be the natural thing to do is there a backstory of “economic insecurity maybe
the inheritance has come as a shock and she’s going to need time to reevaluate her own perspective she will need financial advice and maybe she could consider setting up trusts to benefit family members without impacting their regular income
you should try to be happy for her it may be difficult to avoid the change in relationship dynamics particularly if you feel entitled to a share of the money
try to carry on as normal this is the best way you can help her try not to be ingratiating are you feeling “excluded I’m sure that’s not the intention what would you do if you were in her position ?

I doubt she’s actually boasting. I suspect it’s more the case that she’s talking about her life to OP as she normally would. Referencing her changed circumstances is not the same thing as boasting about them.

As I said, if I were OP’s sister I wouldn’t be giving money away to anyone who shared the attitudes of some of the posters on here. You are of course quite welcome to consider me selfish.

She’s only just inherited potentially…

How did your sister inherit and you not? Have been missed something?

Try reading all the OP'S posts perhaps.........🙄