Absolute CF. I know IANBU but sharing anyway.

[JeffTheSquirrel]

I bought 3 tickets to a show this weekend, for me & DD + a friend of her choice. I paid for them all (£50+ each) but told the mum of invited friend that I didn’t want any contribution. All good.

Now the friend unfortunately can’t make it (legit reason). I mentioned that I’d probably be able to sell ticket as it’s very popular, so no worries (as it happens, another friend has accepted a late invite).

The mum of original invitee asked me to transfer the cost of the ticket to her, so she can treat her DD for missing out.

Eh??

I mean that’s batshit, right?

Dear CF, Happy to transfer cash to the value of the ticket to your account. Waste her time by inviting her to send bank details and raising her hope. Then reply I have transferred 50 quid, less my admin fee for reselling ticket of 50 quid.

Omg 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This reminds me of the thread where the OP offered to take her friend on a short break, no contribution required and the friend said no thanks, can I have the cash instead!?!

No- this doesn’t work because it suggests that the reason there’s no refund is because the ticket has been given to a friend. That’s completely illogical. The reason there isn’t a refund is because the friend never paid in the first place.

I wish you'd done voting on this Op just to see!

I would just say, "Hi there! Apologies, have you transferred money for the cost? I didn't realise - I don't seem to see it in my statement. When did you send it?" Something like that. :) That should clarify things.

Hi CF

Your text has confused me and I can only think you must be mis-remembering. I paid for the ticket and said that I'd be happy to cover the cost - there was no cost to you, so nothing to refund.

Luckily we've found someone else to bring so it isn't going to waste.

Hopefully the girls can do something fun together soon. x

id just pop her a message and say “hey CF, the tickets for the show were my treat so no need to reimburse. Hopefully we can arrange for the girls to do something else when they’re free ☺️”

Right, I am not her but I guess the train of thought could be as follows:

1. OP wants to treat my daughter (free ticket to the concert) and it cost her £50. It means that she is happy to spend £50 on my daughter, she offered and she did promise that she does not want me to pay.
2. DD cannot come to concert, not her fault.
3. She still deserves the £50 that OP wanted to treat her with. Therefore, OP can sell DD's ticket and give her those £50 which was intended by OP for DD anyway.

Only response to her should say:

"WTF are you on? I paid for the ticket, not you - so why do you get my money for a no show?

Fuck off you CFC."

"I am very happy to transfer what you paid towards the ticket"

Well yes - I think that's what we've all assumed, but that train of thought would be insane and only thought my a CF

True. But OP is keen not to cause offence to this woman and this is a tactful way of saying that there will be another invitation in future to make up for the little girl's disappointment.
Unless the other mum genuinely forgot she hadn't paid for the ticket herself, her request for the money is so ridiculous that it hardly deserves an answer.

After years of experience of great tales of CFery on MN, I think I can kind of see her entitled way of thinking.

She isn't centring your DD in this and realising it as her treat, with her own DD (as the plan was) being an 'accidental beneficiary'. She sees it that you promised to spend £50 on her DD (your reasons why are irrelevant to her) and her DD will now miss out on HER £50 treat if you don't hand over the cash.

What was clearly a very kind gesture, but one with your DD primarily in mind, has in her mind become a contractual agreement and thus you are now in debt to her DD to the tune of £50.

Interestingly, though, she's conveniently forgotten the fact that her DD hasn't fulfilled her side of the 'contractual agreement' by pulling out of going to the show. OR maybe this was her plan all along: she saw £50 coming her way and then decided that she would much rather spend it on something else rather than a ticket for a show. For all we know, she may well not be intending to spend the £50 that she's claiming on anything specifically for her DD at all, but maybe has an empty space in her own back pocket for it.

I'd be inclined to reply with something like:

"Ooh, it's a shame that Ella can't make it. Olivia was so looking forward to going, but obviously doesn't want to just go with her old mum there! So I've managed to find another friend who is free on that evening, so Olivia will still get to share her special experience with a friend.

It is a shame for Ella to have to miss out. How about you look for another event that you know Ella would love and you get tickets for her and for a friend to go with her - same as I did for Olivia with this show. Hopefully, Olivia will be free to accompany her, if she's the one that Ella wants to invite along; but if not, I'm sure she won't be short of willing companions to share her treat!!"

Hi cf

Im confused. Why do I need to send you money?

Love

Utter confused parent

This is one of those occasions when a classic “lol” is all that’s required by way of a reply imho.

That is absolutely bonkers!!!!

oh this is a CF MN classic…..brilliant…please let us know what she responds OP!!

even if you had sold it on, why would she then get the money from that sale, when did not pay in first place. mental.

Did you send that message? Please keep us updated

Even so that is absolutely batshit. Imagine having to turn down a birthday party invite: "Sorry my DC can't come but I've estimated you'll spend £25 per head, here's my bank details for you to send me DCs £££, ta!"

Maybe add T&C's next time.. no cash equivalent available.

Another vote for this. This is surely the most cheeky CF of recent MN times

YABU to jump to the conclusion that this is CF and not just forgetfulness. She’s must think she paid. Why would CF be your first thought!

I’d just ask her if she’d forgotten that you paid for the ticket?

Something of the lines of-
no problem, I can't recall exactly how much you paid me for the ticket, please remind me and I'll refund you that amount.