Husband and Lindor

[Clementina49er]

A couple of weeks ago we were in Wilko together and he added a bx of Lindor in some weird flavour (possibly Baileys) to my shopping basket for which I paid without comment. They went on a shelf in the kitchen and I had maybe two out of the box before discovering the empty box a mere two days later. I made no comment but I must admit I thought "that's a lot of chocolate to eat between meals in such a short time."
Ten days later I saw a box of Lindor dark chocolate mint flavour in Sainsburys so I bought them. I have a bit of a thing for dark chocolate and mint.... but a box of Bendicks lasts me at least a fortnight.
The Lindor went in the cupboard but I'd have one from to time to time in the evening with a cup of coffee after my meal.... they weren't "hidden " as such because DH is perfectly capable of opening the cupboard door.... but I know what he's like with chocolate, sweets and biscuits and a packet left anywhere visible in the kitchen will be empty before you can say "I was looking forward to eating one of those"... After lunch I noticed him go and help himself to one of the Lindor.... I made no comment, and decided I'd have one too..... I did notice there weren't many left in the box butagain, I didn't comment.... he's a grown man.
However, when I saw with his hand in the box less than an hour later something snapped and I said "only one a day": he was very offended, but he knows where the supermarket is and has enough money to buy his own damn chocolate if he wants to make a pig of himself.... He is noticeably overweight and has a sweet tooth as well as a love of alcohol and fatty foods. I cook from scratch and we eat healthy, nutritious, filling meals so I really hate to see the crap he eats in between times, not because he's hungry, but because it's there.He buys bags of Doritos and creamy dips, adds mayonnaise to meals which have their own sauce and puts 3tsp of sugar in his coffee. I make no comment about any of this, but AIBU to set a rule that expensive chocolate which I have bought is limited to one a day? There is actually other chocolate in plain view on the table, so he could have helped himself to that, but he decided he wanted a second Lindor. I rather suspect that if I hadn't seen him with his hand in the box I would have gone to it this evening for a chocolate and found it empty.

My dh accidentally locked the poor cat in the garage all night because he snuck in to get ice cream way after I'd gone to bed! Just don't buy the chocolate... or maybe put one on his pillow every night like some hotels do.

We had this. Now DH knows that specific treats I buy for myself are off-limits as I like to eat them slowly whereas he’ll eat the pack in one go. When we buy something for both of us, he’ll eat his half quickly but will leave me the rest (he’ll sometimes sheepishly present me with a 2/3 empty pack but at least he feels bad about it!).

We had this. Now DH knows that specific treats I buy for myself are off-limits as I like to eat them slowly whereas he’ll eat the pack in one go. When we buy something for both of us, he’ll eat his half quickly but will leave me the rest (he’ll sometimes sheepishly present me with a 2/3 empty pack but at least he feels bad about it!).

Argh sorry for the double post!

Jeez you cook his ‘nutritious’ meals and then police his ‘greedy lack of self control’ - that level of prissy mummying, judgement and control would not be tolerated in my marriage. I’ll eat a whole bloody Lindt box if I want to, I’m a grown adult.

And what kind of joyless puritan gets out the Lindt and only eats one anyway? They’re far too delicious to only have one.

I wouldn’t police what he eats but I think it’s selfish to eat all of something and not replace it or at least ask if it’s ok to finish something. I do get looking forward to having a sweet treat. Maybe buy yourselves a box each?

Hide stuff in your car or in your handbag!

If he wants to eat junk that’s his look out though.

Missing the point of the thread but that was my first thought. 😁

Just buy his and hers.

I think you’re incompatible with each other when it comes to chocolates and sweets!

You should each have your own place to keep chocolates or similar and when they’re gone they’re gone, no one eats each other’s. Then you can eat yours slowly one a day, and he can eat his at the pace he wants.

Sorry I will certainly be unpopular here but I would have said "They're mine, get your own". My OH wouldn't touch something like that without asking first as would be considered mine and vice versa.

It would be mean if he'd finished them without replacing them, but it sounds like you're only assuming that would have happened. It sounds like the two of you already have at least partially separate finances and at least sometimes buy your own food - clearer boundaries around where shared food vs private food is stored might help. This is harder if there are children in the house (unless they're too young to help themselves or old enough to have their own supplies/quietly share yours) but "only one a day" doesn't work as an arbitrarily-enforced rule made up on the spot; you'd need to discuss and each agree to it (and stick to it).

DH can have as much of his own choc as he wants but I'd prefer him not to eat all of mine. I'd happily limit him to one a day of mine.

I am surprised at all the Lindor love, I think they are really slimy and oily.

I often hide nice choccies from my family. They will mindlessly eat them and when I finally feel like one they’re all gone. They have their own chocs and snacks and I have my hidden stash. Do I feel guilty? Not one iota!

Perhaps this all happened months ago

and the Op is still stewing about it

He’s got diet and weight issues. Is he making any effort to stay healthy? This would give me the ick. Some treats are fine; but not if you’re otherwise lazy. Surely he’s heading for heart attack or diabetes. Is there any concern about that from him??

why should she organise his diet? He is a grown man.

Quite a lot of them were kept open, they also still sell online

I know, it's utter madness. The competitive over eating posts are on a par with the under eating ones. Everything is so extreme and absolute.

I can’t imagine being with a greedy slob and being out in the position of ‘parenting’ his lack of self control.

You need to have a proper chat about his greed and unhealthy lifestyle and why he lacks self control and isn’t motivated to be fit and healthy.

Hide it OP!! I too have a scoffing dh who doesn't even taste it. It annoys me as I really appreciate it and make it last. I hide mine. I buy cheaper stuff for him to scoff because he doesn't care. It would pee me off him if he left the empty box though. I hate gluttony of any sort though.

Altho I would be annoyed if someone ate my chocolate…
if someone told me I was only allowed one a day I would be quite taken aback at the control

Where did OP find a Wilko? Haven't they closed down years ago?

https://www.wilko.com/en-uk/stores

Christ alive, what a picture of piety you’re trying very hard to paint yourself as. Bollocks you make a bar of chocolate last two weeks 😆😆

On the one hand I think you're way too controlling with the rations.

On the other hand, if you buy something for yourself then it should be left alone.

However, I think as with both of these boxes of chocolates you just bought them and put them in the cupboard without any communication you're out of order expecting them to be saved.