Husband and Lindor

[Clementina49er]

A couple of weeks ago we were in Wilko together and he added a bx of Lindor in some weird flavour (possibly Baileys) to my shopping basket for which I paid without comment. They went on a shelf in the kitchen and I had maybe two out of the box before discovering the empty box a mere two days later. I made no comment but I must admit I thought "that's a lot of chocolate to eat between meals in such a short time."
Ten days later I saw a box of Lindor dark chocolate mint flavour in Sainsburys so I bought them. I have a bit of a thing for dark chocolate and mint.... but a box of Bendicks lasts me at least a fortnight.
The Lindor went in the cupboard but I'd have one from to time to time in the evening with a cup of coffee after my meal.... they weren't "hidden " as such because DH is perfectly capable of opening the cupboard door.... but I know what he's like with chocolate, sweets and biscuits and a packet left anywhere visible in the kitchen will be empty before you can say "I was looking forward to eating one of those"... After lunch I noticed him go and help himself to one of the Lindor.... I made no comment, and decided I'd have one too..... I did notice there weren't many left in the box butagain, I didn't comment.... he's a grown man.
However, when I saw with his hand in the box less than an hour later something snapped and I said "only one a day": he was very offended, but he knows where the supermarket is and has enough money to buy his own damn chocolate if he wants to make a pig of himself.... He is noticeably overweight and has a sweet tooth as well as a love of alcohol and fatty foods. I cook from scratch and we eat healthy, nutritious, filling meals so I really hate to see the crap he eats in between times, not because he's hungry, but because it's there.He buys bags of Doritos and creamy dips, adds mayonnaise to meals which have their own sauce and puts 3tsp of sugar in his coffee. I make no comment about any of this, but AIBU to set a rule that expensive chocolate which I have bought is limited to one a day? There is actually other chocolate in plain view on the table, so he could have helped himself to that, but he decided he wanted a second Lindor. I rather suspect that if I hadn't seen him with his hand in the box I would have gone to it this evening for a chocolate and found it empty.

Can people stop using salads as their faux virtuous behaviour please because I genuinely love salads AND dark chocolate mint 😭

Wilkos does still exists as a shop!!! to all those questioning it its not as good though

I was just confused with the separation of finances and separation of goods purchased. Marital homes should share everything, how difficult is it to buy extra boxes of chocolate if your husband or wife has a sweet tooth? It seems insane to have to ask your partner for permission to eat a Lindor. It seems more insane to separate groceries! Perhaps that is the Russian in me and our cultural differences but it isn't something I would do. Just buy more chocolates.

No. St Alban's (of all places) still has one.

I can’t believe you scoff a whole box of Bendicks in a fortnight. I’ve still got a box that I bought in 2012, I allow myself a small nibble every other month and even then I’m stuffed for ages after

If anyone tried to police my chocolate consumption it wouldn’t end well 😂

Talk. To. Him.

All this could be solved with a conversation. Buy them just for yourself and tell him so. Then he has the opportunity to get something for himself too. Everyone’s happy.

If he still eats yours after you telling him they’re yours then he’s a greedy shit and needs having a go at.

He is a greedy gannet if he knows you like one a night as a dessert. That's how I eat chocolate and I get so annoyed if my house gannet eats the chocolate I buy leaving nothing for me. Thoughtless and piggy. Why doesn't he buy some if he likes it. As it's in the joint shop, buy two and he can pig put then go without whilst you make yours last.

Where does she draw the line? How many boxes should she buy when he's not giving her a heads up or replacing them? Why can't she just expect to buy chocolate and have it still there when she wants some?

Why are so many people pretending not to grasp the issue?

A little, I couldn't image telling someone this.

Yabu. Chocolate is fair game. If you dont want him to eat your expensive treats, hide them. That's what i do. And i also could not just have 1 a day. How is that even possible! And i definitely would be pissed off if anyone told me off for eating anything..

See, this is what happens when you get married and/or live with someone. Live alone, enjoy treats when you want, as I do 😆

Hide it, like I used to.
Hidden under some veg in the salad drawer of the fridge was a good place as the arsehole would never ever go there !

I don't understand why lines need to be drawn on this. It is controlling. I do think it comes down to cultural differences, Russian women don't feel the need to control as much of what the husband does providing he is a good provider, father and husband. it is chocolates! You can replace them.

Have a conversation.

If you are buying these out of the shared account / grocery budget I would tell him you need to share fairly: divide the box in half, put yours in a jar to eat at your speed, he can eat his share at his speed.

If you are buying them out of your own spending ££ explain you bought them as your treat and he needs to not help himself to them.

I would be helpless in the face if a box of Lindor. But wouldn’t touch anyone else’s.

Only one chocolate a day is ludicrous.

‘One a day’? I’d have eaten the lot right there just to annoy you. How infantalising of you.

Buy them and hide them. Or don’t have them in the house. I never eat chocolate because I have no off switch but it’s been so long since I had any, even the thought of it is not appealing. Luckily, no one in our house has a sweet tooth.

I find the suggestion for OP to hide her chocolate odd. Why should she? She got herself a treat that she didn't mind sharing and her husband decided they were mostly his for the taking with little consideration for her being able to enjoy them.

She shouldn't have to hide them away, he should be less selfish.

You need to understand that self control over food is harder for some than for others. My husband used to have it and I didn't, now I have it and he doesn't - that doesn't make him disgusting.
Fine to say I have brought these for myself, not for sharing, respectfully and kindly, and even kinder to stash them out of sight.

Are you his mum?

"only one a day"

If my husband said this to me as I grabbed a chocolate (even if it was the 10th in 10 minutes) I would be offended. My immediate thought would be - Who do you think you are? and who do you think you're speaking too? That's a very condescending phrase, regardless if he's fat as a hefer, its not your responsibility to police him.

If your intention is him not to eat your chocolate (that you buy) then you should be saying "get your own chocolate instead of eating all mine!" not "one a day". Or maybe - "get your arse to the shop to buy some more, as you've eaten them all"

Are there any children witnessing their parent behave like young children?

If I reach 65 year old, as the OP is, and I find myself tapping out a long thread about my husband and some chocolate on mumsnet - shoot me

Why can’t people see the one a day comment is because they were the OPs chocolates, bought for her to enjoy, not because she’s trying to control anyone. It’s not unreasonable to expect something you’ve bought for yourself to still be there when you want to eat it, nor is it unreasonable to tell the other person not to eat it all if they are unable to demonstrate any self control.

Goodness me, a box of bendicks only lasts you two weeks? I take a quarter of one, grate it onto a plate and eat it with tweezers once a month. You sound very indulgent

One a day is too much, you should probably cut one in half and share it