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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband and Lindor

355 replies

Clementina49er · 05/11/2025 16:15

A couple of weeks ago we were in Wilko together and he added a bx of Lindor in some weird flavour (possibly Baileys) to my shopping basket for which I paid without comment. They went on a shelf in the kitchen and I had maybe two out of the box before discovering the empty box a mere two days later. I made no comment but I must admit I thought "that's a lot of chocolate to eat between meals in such a short time."
Ten days later I saw a box of Lindor dark chocolate mint flavour in Sainsburys so I bought them. I have a bit of a thing for dark chocolate and mint.... but a box of Bendicks lasts me at least a fortnight.
The Lindor went in the cupboard but I'd have one from to time to time in the evening with a cup of coffee after my meal.... they weren't "hidden " as such because DH is perfectly capable of opening the cupboard door.... but I know what he's like with chocolate, sweets and biscuits and a packet left anywhere visible in the kitchen will be empty before you can say "I was looking forward to eating one of those"... After lunch I noticed him go and help himself to one of the Lindor.... I made no comment, and decided I'd have one too..... I did notice there weren't many left in the box butagain, I didn't comment.... he's a grown man.
However, when I saw with his hand in the box less than an hour later something snapped and I said "only one a day": he was very offended, but he knows where the supermarket is and has enough money to buy his own damn chocolate if he wants to make a pig of himself.... He is noticeably overweight and has a sweet tooth as well as a love of alcohol and fatty foods. I cook from scratch and we eat healthy, nutritious, filling meals so I really hate to see the crap he eats in between times, not because he's hungry, but because it's there.He buys bags of Doritos and creamy dips, adds mayonnaise to meals which have their own sauce and puts 3tsp of sugar in his coffee. I make no comment about any of this, but AIBU to set a rule that expensive chocolate which I have bought is limited to one a day? There is actually other chocolate in plain view on the table, so he could have helped himself to that, but he decided he wanted a second Lindor. I rather suspect that if I hadn't seen him with his hand in the box I would have gone to it this evening for a chocolate and found it empty.

OP posts:
honeybeetheoneandonly · 05/11/2025 18:00

Ehm, Lidl do bags of chocolate balls. The milk chocolate crisp and the hazelnut ones are quite nice. Not as indulgent as Lindt but reasonably priced and very nice.

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 05/11/2025 18:00

DH and I have a similar problem not with chocolate but with biscuits. I can daintly nibble a couple of biscuits a day, DH will scarf the lot. So he prefers me not to buy biscuits at all, which makes me grumpy. Our solution to this dilemma is that I have my own tin which (by mutual agreement) DH does not touch. The biscuits in that tin are MINE. I will offer him a biscuit if I am having one. Otherwise he leaves them alone on pain of death.

Maybe you need your own tin for Lindor?

Cosyblackcatonbed · 05/11/2025 18:01

Totally fine to tell him only one a day, it's your chocolate and if he wants to be a glutton he can buy his own.

Samscaff · 05/11/2025 18:01

He’s not a child so you shouldn’t be instructing him how many chocolates he’s allowed each day. I’d be annoyed if I were him. If you want to keep them to yourself and just dole them out sparingly to him as you see fit, keep them somewhere private (but in a married couple that seems ridiculous and demeaning to me).

If you're not happy with how finances are shared in your family (and it certainly sounds very odd to me), that’s a different conversation.

If you want to encourage him to eat more healthily, that’s a different conversation again.

Steeleydan · 05/11/2025 18:02

Clementina49er · 05/11/2025 16:15

A couple of weeks ago we were in Wilko together and he added a bx of Lindor in some weird flavour (possibly Baileys) to my shopping basket for which I paid without comment. They went on a shelf in the kitchen and I had maybe two out of the box before discovering the empty box a mere two days later. I made no comment but I must admit I thought "that's a lot of chocolate to eat between meals in such a short time."
Ten days later I saw a box of Lindor dark chocolate mint flavour in Sainsburys so I bought them. I have a bit of a thing for dark chocolate and mint.... but a box of Bendicks lasts me at least a fortnight.
The Lindor went in the cupboard but I'd have one from to time to time in the evening with a cup of coffee after my meal.... they weren't "hidden " as such because DH is perfectly capable of opening the cupboard door.... but I know what he's like with chocolate, sweets and biscuits and a packet left anywhere visible in the kitchen will be empty before you can say "I was looking forward to eating one of those"... After lunch I noticed him go and help himself to one of the Lindor.... I made no comment, and decided I'd have one too..... I did notice there weren't many left in the box butagain, I didn't comment.... he's a grown man.
However, when I saw with his hand in the box less than an hour later something snapped and I said "only one a day": he was very offended, but he knows where the supermarket is and has enough money to buy his own damn chocolate if he wants to make a pig of himself.... He is noticeably overweight and has a sweet tooth as well as a love of alcohol and fatty foods. I cook from scratch and we eat healthy, nutritious, filling meals so I really hate to see the crap he eats in between times, not because he's hungry, but because it's there.He buys bags of Doritos and creamy dips, adds mayonnaise to meals which have their own sauce and puts 3tsp of sugar in his coffee. I make no comment about any of this, but AIBU to set a rule that expensive chocolate which I have bought is limited to one a day? There is actually other chocolate in plain view on the table, so he could have helped himself to that, but he decided he wanted a second Lindor. I rather suspect that if I hadn't seen him with his hand in the box I would have gone to it this evening for a chocolate and found it empty.

Doubt you were in Wilkos,they went into liquidation 2 years ago,all their shops closed down!!

Rachie1973 · 05/11/2025 18:03

KaleQueen · 05/11/2025 17:58

I’m not competitively under eating. I just occasionally do a Lindor in two goes.

Do you have it with a massive salad?

Shell18celhave · 05/11/2025 18:04

If it's that much of a issue for you split the chocs once you get them home & let him eat his half when he wants.

HeyGuysItsNicole · 05/11/2025 18:07

A box of chocolates lasts you 2 weeks 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

and one a day?

give over

AdoraBell · 05/11/2025 18:07

Ooft, I’m a chocolate fiend. In your position OP I would buy yourself Lindor and hide the pack away, like in your underwear drawer, and buy something cheaper for the cupboard.

KaleQueen · 05/11/2025 18:07

Rachie1973 · 05/11/2025 18:03

Do you have it with a massive salad?

Ha ha. No that would be CRAZY. I have it AFTER my massive salad obviously.

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 05/11/2025 18:07

Just hide your own chocolate. Problem sorted.

SwedishEdith · 05/11/2025 18:09

Sidebeforeself · 05/11/2025 17:24

God I cant bear all this treating each other like toddlers. Having own treat boxes, hiding chocolate etc. You are grown ups for God sake. Buy the chocolate, eat the chocolate , buy some more. Tell your partner if you a pissed off that theres none left and either do without or buy some more. I cannot imagine having discussions about who owns a bar of chocolate!

That would be fine if he bought some more to replace what he's hoovered up. The OP bought those because she fancied them and he couldn't stop himself scoffing most of them/them all and then not replacing them.

Luckyingame · 05/11/2025 18:09

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 05/11/2025 16:25

Crikey - he sounds like your child, not your husband! I'd be really offended if my husband spoke to me in that way - 'only one a day' indeed! You sound as if you are telling him off in the manner of a school teacher from the old days!
If you don't want him to have your Lindt chocolate, put it where he can't find it. It makes me wonder if you have these kind of rules and regulations around other food and he's fed up with being told what to do!

Exactly. 🙄

MotherRussia0 · 05/11/2025 18:12

I don't understand this. You don't combine your finances? Lindor chocolates are hardly expensive either, this seems a silly thing to argue over. I couldn't imagine having this debate with my significant other, perhaps because our finances are good but nevertheless! Hug and be friends.

usedtobeaylis · 05/11/2025 18:14

pavlovaGhouls · 05/11/2025 17:51

I get you OP, my DH is similar and not just with chocolate. I bought Satsumas the other week, he'd eaten 5 in a day and there was just 1 left. Had a long day at work, was really looking forward to a cuppa and a chocolate digestive as I knew I'd seen them in the biscuit tin the day before but no, none left by the time I got there. The disappointment was real.
No idea what the solution is, apart from at the cinema when I insist he buys separate popcorn as he'll wolf it down before the film has started and I'm left with crumbs at the bottom of the box.
He always says things are there to be eaten but I want to enjoy things when I want them, not competitive eat them just to get 'my' share!
Soooo frustrating when you're looking forward to something and it's gone.

I hadn't really thought about this stuff before reading the thread but what is this entitlement? Do men know other people exist?

MyIvyGrows · 05/11/2025 18:14

Fizbosshoes · 05/11/2025 16:33

1 a day is unreasonable
As is chocolate mint as a flavour

Waiting for the people who wouldn't be able to eat for a week/month if they ate a whole lindor in one sitting! 😄

To be fair I would be described as a greedy pig by many virtuous folk on MN but I do find Lindor terribly sickly and 2-3 is enough.

can easily eat 150g of Dairy Milk though

Giddykiddy · 05/11/2025 18:15

There was another similar thread recently - exercising self control over chocolate is so hard. One a day is nothing. Hide yours and try not to dictate what an adult eats

Viviennemary · 05/11/2025 18:15

One a day! That sounds more than a bit controlling.

usedtobeaylis · 05/11/2025 18:16

MotherRussia0 · 05/11/2025 18:12

I don't understand this. You don't combine your finances? Lindor chocolates are hardly expensive either, this seems a silly thing to argue over. I couldn't imagine having this debate with my significant other, perhaps because our finances are good but nevertheless! Hug and be friends.

She's not doing anything wrong in wanting to eat the things she's bought as a treat though? He's the one making it an issue. He's not checking with her, he's not replacing what he's eating, he's just troughing his way through it all without a thought for her.

nodramamama · 05/11/2025 18:17

Common manners that everyone learns even as a child, don't take things that don't belong to you, or, ask for permission.
And if you do take without permission, replace immediately.
Very easy to understand.

Dollymylove · 05/11/2025 18:17

I voted YBU for the simple fact that you are not safeguarding your chocolates adequately. Just hide the ruddy things!!!

Wingingit73 · 05/11/2025 18:17

Not much fun at your house is it.

bugalugs45 · 05/11/2025 18:18

You’ve inspired me to open the box in my cupboard ,
there’s 16 in there & I paid £5.50 on offer ( Morrisons ) .
Almost 35p each , so 3 would be approx £1 .
He’s allowed 3 in 24 hours , or maybe 4 so you have half the box each , his last 2 days, yours … a lifetime or whatever 😉

Berlinlover · 05/11/2025 18:18

When we buy a box of chocolates my partner and I have three each a day.

Fizbosshoes · 05/11/2025 18:18

Wilkos does still exists as a shop!!! to all those questioning it its not as good though