To plan another baby at 37?

[Anotherbaby36]

I’m looking for someone to tell me that I’ve completely lost my mind!
I have 4 children, and I absolutely love the chaos! I love all their personalities and watching them grow. I am lucky enough to be a stay at home mum even though I have 2 teens, the youngest 2 are toddlers.
We are getting married next year and I can’t help feeling that another baby would be so welcome and wanted in our family! However, I would be 37 (all being well fertility wise) once baby would be here.
All I keep doing is counting up in age at how old I would be on the school runs etc and would my
husband and I be too old to travel once the children had their own lives.
I can’t stop thinking about another baby! But is this because I'm sad that I just won’t have one again if that makes sense?
thank you!

Thank you! I did have the team phone me after my 4th as they’ve all been over 8lb but nothing really
came of it!

Maybe it’s time for your identity to shift from ‘mum of tinies’ to ‘mum of teenagers/young adults’.

Being the safe port in a storm for them, the person they can bring their mates home to for enormous dinners, the one who doles out wisdom and hard truths and hugs and shared jokes. The one who goes on long walks or drives with them when they’re feeling uncertain or down and lets them talk. The one they know their friends can come to in a crisis. The one who never talks down to them or makes them feel small.

My parents loved us being teenagers - my mum still missed having a house full of my brother’s lanky teenage friends wandering around raiding the fridge and cheerily shouting ‘morning Mrs Knitfast! Cup of tea?’ 😁

Cultivate the relationships you have with your children as the young people they are, not the babies they used to be, and your relationship will become deeper, richer, and more fun than you ever thought possible.

That’s so kind thank you xx

Hell yes the OP thinks about her wants

She’s planning on introducing m a fifth child in to the “chaos” of 4 other children’s lives because SHE wants another baby

your older ones will be doing GCSEs and levels with 3 much younger siblings running around

You’re being a little bit aggressive and not sure why?

Yes I went on maternity leave when I fell
pregnant with my 3rd and never went back

@Anotherbaby36

is she? Why? Because she’s not telling you to go for it and have another baby?

Because you honestly seem to think that this isn’t for “you”

this is for you. the end

No, she isn't. I think she's probably right.

I had my last two at two months shy of 39. I, like you, loved the chaos that a bigger family brings! I had five sons in a little less than 5 years. It was chaos. They are all young adults now and I miss those crazy days! Go ahead and have another! You won't regret it!

So in that case, your successful established career will still very much be on the cards to return to if you e only been away a couple of years!

Wow! Please go and read all my comments because I’ve replied to almost every single one,
and everyone has different views as do my
replies.

You have accused me of being aggressive
for simply pointing out that this is for you

Oh absolutely! Well I hope lol I just never really
saw that path again but I think it could be something to explore again definitely

But why else does anyone have a baby?

but I don’t have any hobbies! Besides feeding many mouths and changing nappies I wouldn’t know where to start

@Anotherbaby36 There is far more to life than that. There really is. What will a fifth child bring that four can't? Would you be able to stop after five? Will your pelvic floor thank you?

Please take on board the comments about teenagers needing you more on an emotional level than little ones. When a three year old is upset a kiss and a cuddle can make it better.

You can't do that with a teenager who is being bullied at school, or being left out of their friendship group. Maybe your children will be lucky and not have this happen at all, but yours will still get stressed about GCSEs, A levels/BTecs, UCAS etc etc.

You say you spend time with the older ones for film nights etc, but that isn't the same as being a shoulder to cry on when their first boyfriend/girlfriend dumps them.

You sound like a lovely mother but you should quit while you are ahead.

I wouldn’t have had another at 37 but my youngest would have been 15.

if you didn’t have kids, or only had the little ones even, id probably say go for it if that’s what you want. But as the child who was a teenager when my mother decided to have her 5th late baby I would say don’t do it. You don’t know how things will go and myself and my other older siblings really really suffered for my parents decision to have another. 27 years on and I still hold some resentment for it. That’s not to say I don’t love my youngest sibling, but It really did ruin my teenage years, education and so much more.

It’s not so much what she’s said but the way it’s coming across. I have been very open to everyone’s opinions and replied to almost every single one - I’m kind of being made out to be selfish when really I was just asking for advice

on the surface it sounds as if you have a great life and one that many would envy. i could not cope with 4 let alone 5 children, one nearly exhausted me but I did do alone so of course that affects my perspective. If you have the baby it will grow up and then what will you do if the empty feeling is still lurking? Our children grow up and have their own lives, essentially, that is what being a parent is about, raising them to be whole and fulfilled adults

Indeed.

however you said that you don’t ever do anything for yourself

I had my second at 36 and I'm a fairly average age for his class at school etc. 37 is a perfectly normal age to have a baby.

But why can’t the answer include the suggestion you’re being selfish?

@hsjsjdjdjdhd

pelvic floor issues aren’t fine! You can end up pissing yourself if they don’t get sorted

Without spewing my whole life on here it’s really hard to convey how present you are as a mother and how aware you are of their needs. I know I do a great job at this and have a great bond with boyh of the older ones.
thank you for your reply though it is helpful x