AIBU to not let Y7 DD walk home in the dark?

[Floorfeelslikelava]

DD has over the last 6 months started walking home from school (with friends). She’s sensible and whilst it’s light, I’m comfortable that this is a perfectly age-appropriate thing to do.

Now that the clocks have gone back, however, I am reluctant to let her walk home in the dark. She usually finishes school clubs at 5.30. Whilst it’s only actually about ten minutes’ walk, it’s down a very dark, quiet side street and there are stretches which are pretty much pitch black. Her friends are still doing it, and DH thinks it’s fine, but I feel very uncomfortable about the idea. I was attacked in my 20s so I’m not sure whether my view is unreasonable. Would you be letting your Y7 DD walk home in the dark under these circumstances?

Is she walking with friends or on her own? With friends on a route she knows well would be fine I think. Come mid December it’ll be dark at ~3pm and that seems very early to not allow a 11/12 year old out by themselves. Maybe a compromise that if she’s with friends she can walk but if she’s on her own then you collect her?

Of course it's fine. We all have to do it, and learn how to manage this kind of situation, so this is a perfect time to start.
Bu refusing to let her do it you are telling her that there is something to be scared of - which there isn't. Please don't pass on your own anxieties to your child.

Theres No way I would let a 7 girl or boy walk home in the dark.
She wouldn’t stand a chance with a predator and that’s why so many DCs of her age have been abducted and murdered.

Lots of parents pick up yeat 7 children (and older) even when it's light. If you prefer to pick her up and walk with her that's completely understandable

I’d pick up.

If it was at 3pm and the whole school were walking out and lots of kids were still about I’d be ok with it, but not alone at 5:30pm
If she’s in a group with friends I’d allow it, but not alone for any part of the journey. Too many opportunist men about.

I'd let her walk - the risks are very small and I think it's better to start bringing up girls not to be needlessly afraid of the dark, which limits the life of so many women unnecessarily.

Year 7 I thought so 11 or 12.

If mummy had come to pick up any of our secondary school age friends to walk them home then poor kids would've had the piss taken out if them big time

If she'd be on her own at any point, in the dark deserted places you describe, no I wouldn't.
Is there not a safe bus route they could travel on together?

And how many is that, exactly? I think you’re vastly overestimating the risks.

On this occasion, I’m not worried about whether I’ll embarrass her by picking her up. If she didn’t walk home, there’s a later music club practice session she could go and do which finishes at 6, and I could pick her up after collecting DD2, when nobody would be around to witness it!

I wouldnt take the chance tbh. Not sure worth it.

Walking on own late and dark is a no

walking with friends yes

Proviz is good for high visibility reflective jackets, straps etc so is fluogo and you can also use bag lights and torches to keep her visible to traffic

Hardly any children of her age are murdered. So few in fact that we all know their names.

Completely agree with this. The babying of secondary school aged children these days is insane.

How is this babysitting. I'm a grown adult and don't like walking alone in the dark as many people dont. There's no way I would expect an 11 year old to do this.

How many? When?

I would pick up. I don’t care what their “friends” think either.

I was attacked in my late teens while with a friend, it’s scarred me for life and i don’t want anyone to go through what I did.

id pick up /drop off a friend, or a colleague if they had to walk home themselves in the dark too.

Massively agree. She's in high school and you live a 10 minute walk away. At what point will you be ok with her walking on her own in the dark?

Also, in a month or two it will be dark even earlier.

Because women and girls never get attacked out walking after dark

Absolutely not, and my dc are adults now. I used to let DD walk home from school at 8 when they left at 15:10 and she was six minutes walk from home with one lollipop crossing.

Do you never walk in the dark anywhere? That is quite restricting.

What on earth are you on about?!

It's that rare for a child to be abducted and murdered in this country that we know the name and details of every single case of it ever happening.

The charity Action Against Abduction, formerly Pact, estimates that roughly 50 children under the age of 16 are abducted by strangers every year.

The report used data from UK police forces in 2011-12, found that 42% of all abduction attempts were made by strangers - and three quarters of the attempts were unsuccessful.

50 children. And out of those, only 3/4 were successful. So around 12 children on average are abducted in one year in the UK. Out of (approximately) 15 million children.

Basing it on the route my daughter would walk home, I would pick up through the winter as the choices are walking along road that is busy in terms parked cars but not foot traffic, or up a side lane with no lighting - both options are quite low visibility, especially in rain, for someone that isn't tall enough to see over the top of a car yet. Not only is it dark with low visibility at the school end, but the estate where we live has those very dim streetlights that benefit night wildlife but not women and children.