To have been patronising to the Doctor?

[LiveTellyPhrase]

Sorry, I’ve just read this and it’s long but was very cathartic to write out!!

I have a kidney transplant. I’ve had it for nearly 10 years and was diagnosed with kidney failure after contracting an auto immune disease.

Ive therefore had a LOT of contact with various HCPs over this timeframe and am often taken aback by inappropriate/uneducated comments about it (one RENAL nurse once asked me if my kidneys failed because I ‘ate too much salty foods’ 🙄 .

I was given an emergency appointment this afternoon as I have a painful UTI. I don’t wait to see how these progress but always see GP at first sign as they have travelled to my transplanted kidney before.

Before The appointment I filled in all the online admin about why I was there, what I needed, if I had any conditions etc.

When I went in to see the doctor I started to explain that I’d had some urgency around the toilet. Before I could go any further he interrupted with a ‘let me stop you there…’ and asked me if I was dehydrated, did I do pelvic floor post birth, asked why I had jumped to conclusions that it was a UTI…

I started talking again and explained that I had many before, the feeling was the same … I noticed he wasn’t listening at this point and was looking at his phone. He interrupted again and said he was reluctant to prescribe anything and UTIs can build tolerances…I started to then interrupt him but he put up his hand and went ‘bubububub’ to stop me talking.

He said did I have any pain? I said yes, I was concerned as the pain had travelled up to my kidney and pointed to my pelvis.

He immediately looked very smug and said ‘dear, your kidneys are around your back… i think if the pain is there it may just be your period, or perhaps you pulled a muscle’? He started to stand up and talked about coming back in a week if it hadn’t improved.

At this point I interrupted again and said, in an equally patronising tone ‘dear, you’re right, my non working native kidneys ARE on my back, but my transplanted kidney is at the front and I’m pretty sure I’m at very high risk of hospitalisation if it travels there, which it very much can do as my unrinary tract is shortened’

He spluttered at this point and very abruptly pulled me up for not having mentioned my transplant. I said ‘if you’d have let me finish any one of my sentences or reviewed my notes, you would know this’.

He did end up writing a prescription but tried to have the last word by saying as I walked out ‘next time please do make it very clear you have a transplant’. To which I told him next time to please read the patients notes.

Honestly I’m so sick of being talked over, told what problems might be or even someone trying to tell me (again, GP!!) that I now only had one kidney as I’d had a transplant!!

I despair for anyone who isn’t very well versed in their own conditions and has to navigate these situations and take the word of doctors as gospel!

So AIBU to have replied patronisingly (I NEVER do this and am not quite as quick to quip back as I was today) and should I complain to the practise manager? I don’t know if it’s just the straw that’s broken the camels back!!

and to add, I have some wonderful nurses and doctors on my teams who are amazing which I do recognise!

I hate this attitude that we should put up with absolutely shit and rude treatment and race to the bottom, and be subservient to doctors providing our care, for fear of worse to come. I absolutely support the NHS and state education and other public services. I want them to be gold standard and first class. I don't really see why they shouldn't be. No one is surprised when our universities top the global rankings or chooses a private university over the best our state higher education system has to offer (yes I'm aware it isn't so simple as that and there's a lot of private funding but still, in principle we expect our universities to be state funded AND first class). Why not aim high for our public healthcare?

Good for you! I work in a medical centre and I have seen similar things happening.

This exactly.

People are fed up with dickheads, not doctors. Some people are, sadly, both.

I find it very odd that SO very many people say they’re having a poor experience, and it’s not the experience of any in my family, wider family or friends. Yes, there are a few bad doctors , but there are also many people who want the private sector to move in and profit.

I worked for the NHS myself at one point, and every single government criticised the excess managers, etc etc. In a few cases it was true. Often it was political. Now it would be mad to lower the numbers, as much wouldn’t get done.

I think we broadly agree. I posted on a recent thread about my broadly positive recent experiences with the NHS. In particular it was refreshing that the nurses did not speak patronisingly to my mother the way a lot of people do these days.

But this particular guy was a rude arsehole and it's weird to see people defending that for any reason really, and i find it particularly depressing when people seem to be coming from the angle of "what do you expect in a free healthcare system?" as if that's only ever going to be piss poor. That's not my experience but still less is it my expectation.

I don’t think it’s because the NHS free - there are shit, patronising doctors in all healthcare systems! (Hopefully a minority)

I heard similar tales when I lived in Canada, and have heard many similar stories from Americans. There will be doctors with shit communication skills, or just having a bad day, everywhere.

It certainly isn't @Tigerbalmshark, for the very simple fact that the NHS is not free. It is free at the point of delivery and funded by the people.for the people.

I do, however, think that as no money changes hands, it does have an impact on service levels.

I agree. He was not very understanding but itwould have helped him to know you have a transplant,

Possibly a bit late to the party from over here on the other side of the world but thought I would add my two cents worth. I have been dealing with doctors my whole life. For the last 5 years my opening sentence is "I've had a heart & lung transplant" & then I tell them what's brought me to the appointment. I still get some of the most unbelievable things said & suggestions made. Unless a Dr works in transplant a lot of them just don't have a lot of current knowledge about them because they rarely have to use it. I understand your frustrations & have at times had to be quite forceful in advocating for myself with a new Dr.

I am a medical records summariser. The system I work on has a summary page for each patient listing all major, minor and significant past problems. It would take 2 seconds to look at your file and see details of your transplant which definitely would be listed to be seen. Most systems used in surgeries I am sure would be similar. This Dr is an arse! You should make a complaint, maybe to CQC, but definitely to the practice manager. Well done for telling him off!!

I've got a few health conditions including bronchiectasis and I'm on immune suppressing drugs. So I'm a frequent flyer at the GP in spite of bending over backwards to avoid going.
They will see me the same day, I know what to say. I don't expect every GP to have read my notes but it winds me up immensely that they haven't even read the triage form that was completed and hour ago and gives the reason why I need to be seen urgently.

I do this when I'm writing a lot - waffle the background and finally get to the point. I have had to train myself to bring my 'summary' up front and make it the intro. It's good to have this pointed out - start off with the big stuff and if he/she needs to know, explain details later.
This is so obvious but clever. I am totally guilty of rambling in order to not miss anything and will make a point of doing it this way.

Another thing to mention is when in A&E and as you progress through the system you are asked for the history by every man and his dog who comes along. Don't be tempted to abridge on the grounds that you've already given your story. Don't assume the last person wrote it down or the current person read it.

Something else occurs to me @LiveTellyPhrase . Are you certain it was a doctor you saw? Just because the most arrogant "HCP" I ever saw turned out to be a PA.

It doesn’t seem to make US doctors any better at listening to patients, and money is changing hands directly there. Which adds insult to injury 🤷‍♀️

People who easily get appointments are generally suffering from a known lifelong condition which means they get very ill very quickly if not seen straight away.
In the long run it's very much cheaper for the NHS to see someone like @LiveTellyPhrase immediately and treat them promptly than to make them wait thus causing an expensive admission to hospital.

Not unreasonable at all. I have had similar issues with a rare condition that the average GP doesn’t think of, and have had similar conversations.

Just be careful that he hasn’t somehow flagged you as a difficult patient. My last practice was impossible to get an appointment at and the doctors treated me oddly. I got my notes when I left and saw that a couple of years earlier I’d been flagged by the especially idiotic doctor who was irritated by her own failure to let me speak as a ‘difficult consult’. I hadn’t even known that such a category existed.

OP hope you feel better soon. Your note to GP was brief and to the point. It’s so frustrating when GPs behave like this. I saw this recently:

“Reddit is so horrifying bc you can go to a sub for people with health problems and see tons of people desperate for help, strategizing on how to be taken seriously, and then you go to a doctor sub and it's full of professionals talking about hysterical women and blue hair.”

Omg! Insult to injury....

I think you handled it well. You’ve been through a lot. GPs are very pushed for time, he probably thought he’d just got another UTI to deal with. I mean, perhaps you should predicate any future appointments with that big piece of information first but you assumed he knew. I wouldn’t worry! I hope you’re better soon!

Morning all. I’m still in the hospital but have a bed in the renal ward so much more specialised care.

I am definitely going to make a complaint but frame it around suggested improvements. As I’ve said a few times now, someone who cannot advocate for themselves would have potentially left with the wrong diagnosis and I think that’s enough to spur me to write a complaint.

Lovely so see some posters still commenting about reading long notes 😊

Thank you, I hadn’t considered this and sorry it happened to you. I will look out for this!

For those focused on giving instructions to the patient/client about how they should present their symptoms/issue rather than the doctor/lawyer about taking a case history, I would remind you that it is not the patient / client who can be sued for professional negligence.

Judging by spluttering of this particular GP, the same thought seems (belatedly) to have occurred to him.

Doctors are specifically trained and tested on taking effective case histories just as lawyers are trained in client and witness interviewing. Because it is part of their job and responsibility to extract the pertinent information.

I’d never encourage or congratulate someone for being rude to someone for doing their job.

but @LiveTellyPhrase , as someone who has repeatedly been ignored and not listened to. Well. Fucking. Done. That was a glorious response!!! I hope he’s learnt his lesson.

Get well soon OP ❤️

If you have a transplanted kidney I would expect it to be highlighted on your notes so that doctors like the one you saw couldn't avoid seeing it.

Sorry this happened to you. I find being female to be a huge disadvantage to start with when it comes to doctors. If standing your ground and being patronising gets you the treatment you deserve and need then don’t feel guilty about it. My doctors must hate me. I go to every appointment ready for battle because of years of being fobbed off and disregarded. Good for you xx

I don’t think you did anything wrong at your GP appointment and gave a good summary in the reason for the appointment. I know how much pressure GP’s are under but his approach was completely unacceptable. At the very least he should have read your notes in the consult request. Although not a GP I spent all my working life as an NHS clinician and his behaviour should not be defended in any way , glad to see you are receiving the correct treatment in hospital. My own GP got things wrong at times but would always acknowledge and apologise when he had