To have been patronising to the Doctor?

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Sorry, I’ve just read this and it’s long but was very cathartic to write out!!

I have a kidney transplant. I’ve had it for nearly 10 years and was diagnosed with kidney failure after contracting an auto immune disease.

Ive therefore had a LOT of contact with various HCPs over this timeframe and am often taken aback by inappropriate/uneducated comments about it (one RENAL nurse once asked me if my kidneys failed because I ‘ate too much salty foods’ 🙄 .

I was given an emergency appointment this afternoon as I have a painful UTI. I don’t wait to see how these progress but always see GP at first sign as they have travelled to my transplanted kidney before.

Before The appointment I filled in all the online admin about why I was there, what I needed, if I had any conditions etc.

When I went in to see the doctor I started to explain that I’d had some urgency around the toilet. Before I could go any further he interrupted with a ‘let me stop you there…’ and asked me if I was dehydrated, did I do pelvic floor post birth, asked why I had jumped to conclusions that it was a UTI…

I started talking again and explained that I had many before, the feeling was the same … I noticed he wasn’t listening at this point and was looking at his phone. He interrupted again and said he was reluctant to prescribe anything and UTIs can build tolerances…I started to then interrupt him but he put up his hand and went ‘bubububub’ to stop me talking.

He said did I have any pain? I said yes, I was concerned as the pain had travelled up to my kidney and pointed to my pelvis.

He immediately looked very smug and said ‘dear, your kidneys are around your back… i think if the pain is there it may just be your period, or perhaps you pulled a muscle’? He started to stand up and talked about coming back in a week if it hadn’t improved.

At this point I interrupted again and said, in an equally patronising tone ‘dear, you’re right, my non working native kidneys ARE on my back, but my transplanted kidney is at the front and I’m pretty sure I’m at very high risk of hospitalisation if it travels there, which it very much can do as my unrinary tract is shortened’

He spluttered at this point and very abruptly pulled me up for not having mentioned my transplant. I said ‘if you’d have let me finish any one of my sentences or reviewed my notes, you would know this’.

He did end up writing a prescription but tried to have the last word by saying as I walked out ‘next time please do make it very clear you have a transplant’. To which I told him next time to please read the patients notes.

Honestly I’m so sick of being talked over, told what problems might be or even someone trying to tell me (again, GP!!) that I now only had one kidney as I’d had a transplant!!

I despair for anyone who isn’t very well versed in their own conditions and has to navigate these situations and take the word of doctors as gospel!

So AIBU to have replied patronisingly (I NEVER do this and am not quite as quick to quip back as I was today) and should I complain to the practise manager? I don’t know if it’s just the straw that’s broken the camels back!!

and to add, I have some wonderful nurses and doctors on my teams who are amazing which I do recognise!

I wish these people who 'book appointments at the drop of a hat' would come on here and tell us how they do it. The majority of us who struggle to get any appointment without days and weeks of repeated ringing could do with some tips.

You might joke about it but I am immunocompromised and it is the first thing I tell a doctor or nurse when I have an appointment. It completely changes how they relate to me, especially in regard to infections. I’m unclear as to why you didn’t raise your transplant before saying you thought you had a UTI as it is clinically relevant. However, the doctor was being patronising and should have heard you out.

Good for you. I am sick to death of medical professionals just not listening.

Went to see my GP yesterday about acid reflux. She had me in and out in 2 minutes with a three month prescription and I was paying privately for that. Didn't have a chance to ask any questions etc. Appointment time should have been 15 minutes. No questions, nothing!

They seem to have such an abysmal opinion of patients, holding them in absolute contempt.

I always think this! How do they do it??

I think people who can easily get appointments are a combination of dramatic, pushy and/or emotional - with a thick skin.

No, it is not that. Uk has, sadly, become a post code lottery regarding healthcare and other services.
Many are not aware of what is going on and the poor service across UK just because they are lucky... for the time being....

My son has a serious condition which he always mentions first at a GP's appointment, even if he's there about something else because his meds have to factored in to any further prescribing.
More than once he's been lectured about making his personality all about his condition. Most people don't even know about it as the only time he mentions it is at medical appointments.

I've had the finger wagging and lecture about only one symptom per appointment, even though I suspected the symptoms might be linked. It turns out I have advanced cancer, over a year of missed chances to at the very least refer me.

If the doctor had:
(a) not told her to shut up halfway through the first sentence,
(b) read the appointment triage notes (a couple of lines, not much),
(c) read the patient notes

then he would have had that information. But he didn't have enough respect for her to do any of those things. It's difficult to tell a doctor about your medical history when they won't let you speak. He should have known it before she even entered the room.

Exactly, if you read the whole OP you can clearly get that this doctor did not allow her to speak.

And yet - strangely - the private GPs I have seen over the years have all been uniformly professional, helpful and pleasant. Strange, no?
One good thing that may arise from a change in the NHS set up or the funding of GPs is that many patients will vote with their feet and select doctors who do the job professionally and with courtesy …

And of course the doctors may be able to deselect abusive patients ….

My partner one morning told me he thought he had appendicitis. I asked him if he'd been Googling, he had. It was so not like him to be in pain so when he rang his surgery with symptoms and even though he said he thinks he had appendicitis he was seen in half an hour. We had packed a hospital bag just in case. The GP sent him to hospital and he had his appendix out that night.

There are some medics who do listen to the patient.

I suspect there are as many or more bad patients as there are GPs, poor souls

My partner doesn't have a medical degree.

The doctor was rude. However, the first thing you should have said was the transplant. Because that changes everything.

you did the right thing. I’m sick of clueless patronising doctors.

What utter tripe. Im a medical professional and am expected to know exactly what is wrong with my patients. If my consultant pops in and I don't know there is hell to pay. It takes one minute to skim down their medical history and medication, check HbA1c and kidney function.
Its highly dangerous trying to treat patients without knowing what's wrong with them as has been proven here. You could kill them.
Its all computerised now and is sitting in front of you in easy to read sections.
There is no excuse for not picking up that someone has had a kidney transplant.
Also if someone is vague, elderly, confused, has learning difficulties and can't give you a medical history it is your responsibility to look.

I read all that. All I was saying was the first thing I would have said is about the transplant, then the UTI. From my own experience it helps enormously to state upfront what your condition is. I do agree he should have read the triage notes and shouldn’t have interrupted her and said he should have listened to her in my post.

I didn’t google. I assume the NHS website info and also what the pharmacist told me was correct.
FWIW I completely agree re the overuse of ABs; pharmacists afaik can only prescribe in limited conditions such as UTIs with evidence of bacterial infection. They can’t and don’t dole them out willy-nilly, it would obviously be a bad thing if they did.

Just a quick note to say

WELL DONE, GO YOU!!

Patronising, misogynisticc twat.

I have an autoimmune condition, abd when I went to my GP, and asked for a referral to a different hospital as my local one was useless, and explained why she said that I obviously knew more than her! I got my referral.

Just as well you’re all so sick of doctors, given that most of them are being replaced by nurses and assistants. You probably won’t get to see one soon, from one year to the next.

Surely any major health concerns are flagged at the top of a patient's records so they are immediately obvious? A doctor can glance at them in the time it takes for the patient to walk from the waiting area to the doctor's room!

DH has also had a kidney transplant, has had Type I diabetes for 30+ years and has had a number of heart procedures including a triple off-pump bypass. I would expect any GP to be aware of all this in headline terms, then if more details are required on any/all of it, they can ask. And also ask whether the reason for the current appointment is connected to any of these as, of.course, it may not be...

Yanbu. You spoke to him exactly how he spoke to you. I hope you feel better soon 💐