Hen party drama

[Horsingabout2]

My two best friends are in charge of my hen weekend. I’ve given them free rein within a couple of paramaters (including not to exceed a certain cost so as many people as possible can make it given it’s quite close to Christmas).

I am not in the WA group but I know they were putting the itinerary in there earlier. One of my friends has called me to say one of the attendees (my cousin) has kicked up a fuss about one of the meals being a butlers in the buff style evening. Said they won’t go on the weekend if that’s the plan. No one else has said they’ve an issue.

My cousin hasn’t contacted me directly. I don’t want my friends to have to rearrange things given the efforts they’ve gone to in order to arrange. AIBU to say that if she wants to be stubborn and not attend, that says more about her and how highly she must regard me?

Erm, seriously, its not

Hen weekends should be inclusive - if you want the hens at the wedding that is

If what YOU want is titilation and eye candy, then own it, dont pass the buck and then moan that others are saying its not their choice to be spending money on

I know he’s likely to have a dance and he knows as long as it goes no further then I’d have no issue given that’s par for the course on a stag.

Don’t BITB just wear an apron? So topless and arse out?

Can’t imagine the OP being cool with her husband-to-be having drinks served by women dressed only in a short apron and heels.

Grim. You keep justifying really shitty behaviour as “par for the course”. Don’t know what course you’re playing on but it ain’t par on mine.

Presume your husband to be is going to look at naked women on his stag night and that’s ok?

Doesn’t sound very hygienic TBH

I’d give backword too.

How would you feel if your fiancé was having naked female waiting staff at his stag do?

Ah here we go
its ok for me but not for him

I wouldn't be going either. Good on your cousin for being honest. I'd be more last minute family emergency or migraine. Sounds ghastly.

I wouldn't go either, it sounds really dull. It's a bit like people who play cards against humanity and think it is really scandalous. I wouldn't go because I would be bored.

Oh, you’ve answered that.

Ugh.

I assuming this whole thread is just a wind up OP.

If not, you and your intended H seem ideally suited with his strippers and your naked butlers.
A match made in heaven obviously.

The person who wont go has good taste

I also wouldn’t go. I can’t be opposed to the objectification of women and then do the same with men!

Well classy

Wow, it is absolutely not par for the course. I wouldn't have married my DH if he had gone to a strip club for his stag. How old are you??

After my last hen do, which I gritted my teeth and got through out of love for those concerned, I made myself a silent promise to never put myself through it again 😂I am 51 and I'm done. Do enjoy your nudey waiters if that's your bag, I can't think of anything worse.

I would not want to go to that either. I'd be incredibly uncomfortable.

It's absolutely no different to me than a female stripper, and I'd not be happy about my partner going to that. I'm not about to have a different standard for me than him.

Far more importantly for me, I've been assaulted. The idea of being in a space with a naked male stranger is absolutely bloody horrifying.

You have absolutely no idea why your cousin doesn't want it do this, it's absolutely her decision, and actually it's you having little to no regard for her rather than the other way around.

Your organising hens should have made sure everyone is OK with that sort of thing before deciding on it, not presented it as a done deal.

Also, of course your cousin hasn't come to you with this - why would they stress you out and potentially spoil the surprise of the rest hen in one fell swoop? Your friend is shit stirring.

I would not love it, but I would not kick up a fuss if everyone else was into it.

I agree with so many other on here that this is absolutely not something I would attend. Surely this is just objectification, and utterly gross. Sounds like a truly dreadful hen do with a group of crass women ogling men (which all women absolutely do not want to do after a few proseccos)

Crass.

I don't want to be staring at naked arse when I'm tucking into my cheesy nibbles.

I know ‘my DH would never’ is a much quoted term on here but I can assure you - they most certainly would have been in such an establishment on their, or someone else’s stag!

Ignorance is bliss I suppose.

Also - has your cousin actually 'kicked up a fuss'? Or have they just said they're not going if that's the plan? Becaue that's absolutely fair enough and I'd say the same!

this. She doesn't want to lower herself to this level of tacky smut and pay for the pleasure.
Your 'best friends' sounds very immature.

You don't have to get your friends to rearrange if you are happy with the plans. But your cousin doesn't have to attend. The cousin being clear that they won't join in with that is a sign they don't want to do that rather than a reflection of their relationship with you if they were happy to come along for a meal, drink and dance.

Not everyone is fine with butler in the buff, strip clubs etc.