Hoarder in-laws want us to inherit their stuff

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My in-laws in their 70s are serious hoarders. They have a massive house filled with stuff.

They have repeatedly told my DH and me that they will not sort out their belongings and expect us to inherit or sell everything after they pass, believing it's all valuable.
For example, hundreds of DVDs, crystal decor, old DIY tools, and casual "jewellery" that's not my taste and to be blunt, not worth inheriting, the quality of something you would see in Claire's or Accessorize.

DH has sincerely explained that majority of their possessions have little to no value, and we do not want them. We offered to help them declutter or sell items, but they refuse, as they are unwilling to give things away for free or accept low selling prices.

We live in a tiny terrace with no storage. I dread the enormous task of clearing their 4-bedroom house, annex, and workshop when the time comes.
AIBU to think what they are asking of us is very selfish?

My dad got a clearance company for my grandma's house. She wasn't hoarding but just had loads of stuff from leaving there all her life.

We took anything we wanted to keep and then they came in, had a look through and gave him a quote for the lot. He didn't have to do much and everything was gone in 24h.

Smile and nod - what's the point in arguing? They won't know what happens after they are gone.

When the time comes keep anything you want.

Then get a house clearance company.

Or
Fill many boxes of stuff suitable for Vintage Cash Cow
Many bags of stuff that really is OK for charity shop (don't dump useless stuff on them)
Many bags of stuff to go to the recycling centre (old metal tools etc)
Much stuff to throw away
Furniture: Marketplace or see if British heart Foundation will collect anything sale-able

Honestly, I'd concentrate on the positives here and just see what happens. If you really inherit the stuff , then you can sort it out then. You'll be pleased about the bug house.

If you do inherit then you can look on the house clearance as the price to pay for that.

It will likely be the easiest few hundred K you will ever make.

If you don't think it is worth the effort you can always renounce the inheritance and walk away from the whole lot with zero effort required on your part.

Or if you can't be bothered to clear the house you can always auction it with all the contents intact as part of the deal.

It isn't selfish really. Hardly anyone leaves this world with a beautifully ordered life and nothing for their family to sort out. It is very normal to clear out your parents' house when they die. It's actually easier if it's all stuff you don't want as you just get a clearance company to take it all. It's harder to sift through it if you know there are momentoes but can't find them.

Don't try to change them now, and why be cruel and tell them it's all crap you'll be chucking the moment they die? Even if that's the case, there is no need to tell them that.

You have my sympathy.
And the clearsnce may not be when they die, it may be when they go into a care home. Then you have the expense of the clearance without inheriting the house.
Hoards are a nightmare.

We've inherited a load of stuff from my in-laws. My MiL was a collector, royal doulton figurines, Toby jugs and those teapots shaped like houses. Her jewellery is mainly costume but we also have a few items of quality. These are going to DD as the next generation of females.

In someway the best and worst is her collection of antique Dutch silver spoons. They need to be valued as there's literally a trunk full of them

DH also finds it hard to get rid of things at low prices, things like the figurines and jugs were expensive when bought and are just collect dust for a few pounds. I'd call in a house clearance company but DH is convinced they just scam you.

You have my sympathy. On the other had my dad has had a major clear out so there's very little stuff left.

Just say yes dear.
When they die ypu just pay hpuse clearance.
Bhf will do it for a fee they will come and quote.
It was 600 bit that was after a major clearvout and 600 fir a skip . So all you need to know is some of inheritance will go on paying skip and or house clearance before house can be sold

We inherited a house and it took 5 skips to clear it, but we did that and moved in. Was it hard work? Yes. Was it worth it? Yes. Do I have sleepless nights thinking about that time now? No. It was over and done with within a few weeks. We now have a house with no mortgage, and a good life because of this, so the trade off is of course worth it.

I wouldn't have dreamed of asking the elderly family member to strip down her belongings to make her life easier for us before she passed. All those items brought her comfort, joy and familiarity towards the end - they were her home and her sanctuary. Our job was to support her and give her love and companionship towards the end, not say "right Ethel, which treasured item of yours will you throw away please to make my life easier once your dead?".

All straight in a skip

Don't fight it. You don't want to be fretting over it.

Get a firm in to clear everything or hire skips and chuck the lot.

There is absolutely nothing you can say to them that will make them suddenly start tidying and clearing out. So stop trying.

Accept that the house is going to be full of stuff when you inherit it.

Plan to get a house clearance company in. Find out which charities will come to collect clothes and furniture. Plan to get a lot of skips.

If the house is that big, the cost of this will be peanuts compared to the house value. A mercenary way to look at it, but a practical one.

I'll be the same with my Dad, it's actually something I've discussed with siblings. We have resigned that we will have to do it all. I know no one will have the heart to use a clearance company and I live nearby so I know it will be on me with others doing a few days here or there. It will be a long process but a somehow satisfying one in a way, I've often fantasised about removing the old newspaper mountain or seeing what the couch under the books looks like. It's just sad DF won't be there to enjoy it when it's done.

My parents have a lot of stuff. I don't think they expect us to want it but I also doubt theyll deal with it beforehand.

Unless DSis feels differently (and wants to do the work) we shall share any bits we do want and employ a house clearance company.

Parents dont need to know that.

My husband's granny ran a B&B - she continued to live in it long after it had ceased trading - it took 17 skips to clear it after she died. There was nothing to be gained from trying to clear it before she did...he vividly remembers his mum getting as far as clearing one kitchen drawer with her - before the granny threw her hands up and ushered them all out - while refilling the drawer.

My parents aren’t hoarders but their house is full. The loft is packed with crap.

My grandma died 20 years ago and a lot of her crockery, glassware etc is in my parents kitchen, they also had a narrow boat for 12 years that they lived on for 6 months so tne contents of that are also in the house.

Ive never seen so many plates! There are only 2 of them and they don’t entertain anymore.

I’ve offered to help them declutter but they say they will sort it! They’re both in their 80’s.

My DB and I are dreading having to deal with it all when the time comes.

Just drop the subject. When the time comes, have a quick look through for anything valuable or that you want or could use, offer the furniture to charity, then get a house clearance firm in. You don't need to stress or argue about it.

They won’t see it the way you do, and if they really are hoarders no amount of telling them will make them understand that their stuff is worthless.

Also, it’s a bit insensitive to expect people to chuck away their own belongings while they’re still alive just to empty the house for your benefit in the expectation that they’re going to drop down dead soon.

If you don’t want any of it, I’m sure you’ll be able to pay to get the house cleared from the money you’ll presumably make on it. If you’re being given a free house, the least you can do is chuck a few bits in a skip, surely.

Can understand about the house clearance concerns. Perhaps take some collections to auction houses? Although prices tend to go by what's popular at the time.

I sympathise because I am currently living this with my mother. She won't clear anything because 'it might be useful' or 'she might need to sell it one day'. She will not accept that there is no use for documents relating to a car that was scrapped 10 years ago because someone 'might want to ask questions'. And so on...

However, I have learned to accept that this is how she is. If she offers me things that I do not want, I take them, and thank her. Then dispose of them as she will never know and no longer cares after it isn't hers anymore.

I have every intention of Swedish death cleaning for myself. We used to move house every two years. A combination of that and my mother's habits have given me an absolute loathing of clutter and tat.

A good house clearance company will work with you to empty the house. My SIL's place was awful, but they helped over a couple of days to clear stuff out whilst also helping to look for any important documentation (financial info, passports, jewellery etc) amongst all the chaos.

It would have been nicer not to have needed them, but they made a difficult time much easier.

I cleared my parents’ big house myself. I certainly did not expect them to do it before they died.

I found it cathartic and kept pretty much nothing.

Just placate them and then hire a skip when the time comes. What they don't know won't hurt them.

You want them to get rid of stuff that they cherish to save you a job?!!

Like others have said, you take what you want and get a clearance company in for the rest.

We just did it for my dad's house. It was incredibly straightforward.

I think if it was my parents I’d just humour them and then clear it out once they’re gone. I’m guessing there will be some level of inheritance and I’d use that to pay for funeral and house clearing rather than have this battle now. Let them believe that there leaving their family valuable treasure rather than a load of rubbish