Would you have told this woman that half her bum was hanging out?

[CalonHapus]

DW and I were at a train station on Saturday which was full of people dressed up for Halloween. A bit ahead of us were two women whose costumes incorporated extremely short skirts. The woman on the left had got her skirt just long enough to cover everything but the woman on the right had the lower half of her bum showing.

DW wanted to say something to her, as she was worried she might not be aware and would appreciate being told. I said I didn't think this was a good idea, as she might have deliberately worn her skirt that short and therefore might react badly to someone bringing it up like it's a bad thing.

We ended up just carrying on to our train and not saying anything. Was I in the wrong to persuade DW not to get involved?

YABU - you should have said something to the woman

YANBU - you were right not to get involved

It's interesting how fashion evolves and goes round. In the French court (late 1600s) it was acceptable for the more well to do, to wear dresses where the breast including nipple was fully exposed. Yet showing an ankle was strictly taboo.

If you wear skirts that short, then you know what is visible. I'd let a stranger know if their skirt was tucked into their knickers or a label was hanging out or similar as they can so something about it. But what can she do about her skirt being so revealing? She can't make the skirt longer, and she is on a night out. May as well let her enjoy it and not feel self conscious.

But unless the family lunch was at the girlfriend's own home, which seems unlikely, she's not going to have had a different skirt to change into, is she? Or did your mother insist she pinned newspaper to the hem of the skirt, as though she were an underdressed tourist entering St Peter's?

It was probably intentional.

We were at a family event in a castle this Halloween. There was a young woman pushing a pram with a full 3/4 of her arse out. One more millimeter and we'd have been treated to the sight of her breakfast.

She had painted it white so it was obviously intentional.

Grim.

I once told a woman that her skirt was stuck in her knickers. She definitely appreciated me saying something.

But I wouldn’t say anything if it‘s (probably) intentional or something the woman clearly couldn’t fix/a skirt that was just too short (instead of ridden up)…

If it was obviously a mistake - like skirt tucked into knickers on one side or something then I would 100% say something as people have always told me and I’ve been very appreciative…

However, it’s a “trend” among some teenagers (and TBF other ages) to have their arse cheeks fully hanging out of shorts and skirts so I wouldn’t in this specific case.

I went to the IoW Festival this year and saw more arse cheeks in 3 days than the rest of my life combined!

She’d painted her arse white?

I believe she was a 'sexy' ghost. She was painted white all over.

She knew her skirt was like that and she was fine with it the way it was, do people really think she couldn't feel the breeze blowing up her backside?
You were right to leave it alone.

A few weeks ago I saw a larger lady get up from a chair, and her skirt was stuck in her bum crack like a wedgie.

Clearly not intentional, but I couldn’t have found the words to tell her! I don’t know how she couldn’t feel it.

They were only creepy and leery BECAUSE people assumed you were male

There was nothing at all wrong with your comments, its other people with an issue

'Uneasy'?

he literally said DW wanted to say something?

I do wonder what would possess women/girls to flaunt half their bum?!
But then, we’re seeing celebrities wearing dresses that reveal half their boobs in more and more daring ways…
Why? For attention? Shock factor?

I do think the human body is a beautiful thing, in the right context. The curves of a pregnant woman. The physique of an athlete. The radiance of skin. But that doesn’t mean I would go around showing my bits to the world!

What message do these girls think they’re conveying? Look at me for my mind, my personality, my qualities? I don’t think so…

If I tried leaving the house with a skirt halfway up my arse, stockings and suspenders on show, my mother would have told me I looked like a prostitute, and she would have been absolutely right. I wouldn't have been allowed out dressed like that. To grandma's house for lunch of all places? Hell would freeze over first.

It's nasty, trashy, cheap and vulgar. Have a hot body, want to look sexy and show off? No problem. But boobs and ass out-out is not sexy, unless your idea of sexy is a drunken romp in a dinky alleyway, pinned to the wall, with a pint of stella in one hand and a fag in the other. It's stupid and desperate.

Yea yea, 'misogyny', 'women can wear whatever they please'. Sure they can, no one's forbidding them. I'm allowed to have an opinion about their outfits, though. It's just funny that they can wear whatever they want, and all they seem want is clothing that makes you look like a piece of meat on sale.

Literally don't see this fashion anywhere. The only time I hear about this 'arse hanging out' look is on MN.

I think many women want to show more to thumb their noses up at the way muslim women are treated. The problem with that is that it causes more women to be abused by muslim men who are brought up to believe - and it is in the Quran - that women who show flesh are 'asking for it'.

We should not allow that to happen in Britain, but it is. Girls in universities are having to wear muslim clothes because they don't feel safe.

If we start doing that, before long there will be no music, not pictures or entertainment at all. To impose those sort of values on our society will cause more problems. Tens of thousands of men of marriageable age are coming into Britain by boat without identification papers. Their actions are those of muslim men. If they want to live by sharia law and by the Quran they should stay where they are and not come here looking for women to impregnate.

There are already too many sharia courts in Britain to pass judgement, issue divorces and allow polygamy, and that is a threat to our society.

Well, it depends on where you are when you're out of the house. You're unlikely to see it in the workplace (unless you work in a brothel or a stripjoint, or somewhere that sells Sexy Schoolgirl costumes), and you're unlikely to see it on the school run, or in church, or at a bridge club, or a pottery class.

But I can assure you that if you're out in a city centre on a weekend night, especially a 'costume-y' night out like Halloween, or at a manga convention, then it's not unheard of. And I'm in a small city, not in the UK.

I would have said something. It's the code os sisterhood, imo. If yall see me in such a sitch, please have my back!

How is there no laugh reaction in Mumsnet… that exchange really cracked me up!

OP I don’t think you sounded creepy or leery at all… or indeed male! I also didn’t know it was fashionable to walk round with a bare bum… not a look I’ll be taking on myself 😂