Do you know an alcoholic? What has happened to them?

[BottleDown]

My partner of 5 years is an alcoholic. We have a young child. I am making plans to leave, but it’s absolutely heartbreaking.

If there’s an alcoholic in your life, what has happened to them?

My ex husband is an alcoholic. We split 7 years ago (he met someone else he wanted to be with) and for the last 4 years he's been a heavy drinker. He can't go a day without alcohol. He's lost his job. He doesn't see our son (he has no interest in seeing our son no matter how much I try) and he has no relationship with his family unless he wants to contact them for money. He was in a high paying professional role prior to his alcoholism causing him to lose his job. Alcohol has ruined his life and he is completely unwilling to address the problem.

My MIL is/was an alcoholic. She has been in a care home with dementia since her late 50s as a result.

My brother died of it in his 40s but not before he’d trashed every relationship/friendship and traumatised his children. I don’t think I’ll ever fully recover from how awful it was as I tried to save him and the damage he created around him. His children are permanently damaged.

Uncle died from it, very messy death in the family home. My aunt hadn't left him, wish she had, his son my cousin became an alcoholic wrecked his life and destroyed relationship with his wife and children died in his 40s alone.

Family friend fell down stairs drunk in middle of night died.

Another cousin still alive, her children are moving to other side of the world one by one as they turn 18.

You can’t save him by staying, protect your daughter and yourself as best you can

1 is on a waiting list for a liver transplant. If he doesn't get it before Christmas he's unlikely to survive

One is a disgusting old man that staggers around looking dreadful, an embarrassment to the family

One is high functioning (does miss the odd day off work so I'm all likelihood will lose his job eventually)

One doesn't recognise she's an alcoholic as she only "buys" two wines every day in the bar (drinks at least one bottle at home daily) gets abusive after the 4th glass

I want To acknowledge the raw and honest posts about impact of alcohol

He choked to death on his own vomit

My twin sister was one. She became alcohol dependent and died 5 years ago age 27

My dad is an alcoholic- been one for 50+ years. Nothing has happened to him apart from a stroke which he made an almost complete recovery from and 3 failed marriages. He drinks an obscene amount but only in the evenings. He had an amazingly successful career working in to his 70’s through choice. He’s also absolutely lovely.
But he is still an alcoholic.

They don’t all end up dead or in the gutter.

He’s drinking about 4litres of whisky a week plus a daily bottle of red wine. I have no idea how he is not dead.

An ex boyfriend of mine and love of my life drank himself to death over 25. years. Stage 5 Alcoholic.

Death certificate causes said Pneumonia and Alcoholic Relate Liver Disease.

Indescribably Heart Breaking.

💔

Im sorry you had to go through this ❤️

Ex-coworker, ended up with her employment terminated and was found dead at home by one of her siblings

In my experience, the person drinking has to want to change, and sadly, love or support from others isn’t always enough. Someone close to me drank for years; it cost them their job, their family, and almost their life before they finally got help. They’re sober now, but it took hitting rock bottom.
You’re doing the right thing by protecting yourself and your child. It doesn’t mean you’ve stopped caring—it means you’re choosing safety and peace. Be gentle with yourself; this is not your fault. Sending strength your way.

My alcoholic ex fiance
He went into an alcoholic coma and died a few days later

1. Fell asleep with a fag burning. Died in the house fire. Luckily the children were at their Dad’s that night.
2. Died of cirrhosis of the liver aged 64
3. (me) Got sick and tired of being sick and tired and joined Soberistas. I’ve now got several years of sobriety under my belt.

You’re doing the right thing by leaving. The alcoholic is in the grip of a powerful addiction.

Please focus on yourself and your child. Good luck x

Thank you everyone. So many sad stories amongst some of hope. I’m shocked to see so many young deaths too.

@Anna1mac❤️

I found her stone cold with coffee ground vomit all over the bathroom - it was a horror scene. The saddest thing of all, she had a drink in hand with the tiniest of smiles on her face.

My mum was an alcoholic, as was her identical twin. My mum is still (just about) going in her 70s but her twin died in her late 50s- heart related. I think it was different life choices that had the biggest impact to their life expectancy- as their alcohol dependence was pretty much the same.

A friend died aged 40, from falling over in the bathroom and hitting his head on the sink. He'd already lost his wife, his house, his career and most of his friends.

It was horrible.

I really believe that alcohol sales need to stop or be heavily regulated and curtailed. It needs to be treated like the poison that it is, the risk of complete destruction to entire families is too great. I don't belive that alcoholism is a disease, alcohol is as addictive as cocaine, but not illegal like cocaine. Absolutely anybody can become addicted to alcohol, that is why it is so dangerous, and alcoholism so common, as this thread shows. Supermarket sales and alchohol advertising need to stop, first and foremost.

Should be treated like cigarettes. No adverts and all hidden behind the counter. Absolutely agree with you. If alcohol wasn’t available it would solve a lot of issues in society.

My dad - he died of liver failure

I don't agree that alcohol sales need to stop, most people can drink moderately and enjoy it. I say this as someone who does have experience of alcoholics in the family but also experience of people who enjoy drinking sociably and in moderation like myself and most others.

The alcoholics I knew (dead now) did not become alcoholics overnight, in that sense it didn't happen to them like an illness. They drank excessively and selfishly for many, many years and certainly could have stopped or moderated at an earlier point but they chose not to as they simply loved the feeling of being drunk. They didn't much care that it upset others around them when they prioritised having a good time over being more sensible.

I accept people can't easily stop once they are alcoholics, but the road to alcoholism is a long one littered with selfish attitudes and putting themselves first. Yes I'm bitter. But I think it's unreasonable to ban alcohol for the sake of a minority who won't limit their own excessive behaviour - and yes it is a choice for a long time leading up to the point at which it no longer is a choice.

Well done on your sobriety @JulianClarysDog having seen alcoholism up close I’ve some appreciation of what an incredibly difficult addiction it is to break.

They didn't much care that it upset others around them when they prioritised having a good time over being more sensible.

They’re not having a good time. When my bloke was drinking he was disappointed to wake up every morning. Addiction is miserable. Most alcoholics in recovery report immeasurably better quality of life when they stop. Thing is that it’s bloody hard to stop and I salute every alcoholic who wins the battle.

I don't think society can blame individuals for becoming addicted to what is an incredibly addictive, widely promoted, accepted and available drug. Anyone, given the circumstances, can become addicted to alcohol. Alcohol companies know this, as do the government's that take the massive sales tax from alcohol.

Many cannot moderate, even if they want to, because it is so addictive, and destroys normal dopamine pathways in the brain, leaving the alcoholic feeling like there's nothing else left to live for.

The substance is the problem, not the individual. I say this as someone who went from enjoying occasional drinking to becoming reliant on alcohol, and now recently sober.

A ban is likely never going to happen, but proper regulation is so overdue. Look at the number of posts on this thread and the destruction and regret that has radiated out into each alcoholic's family. It is so sad and more widespread than people realise.