Do you know an alcoholic? What has happened to them?

[BottleDown]

My partner of 5 years is an alcoholic. We have a young child. I am making plans to leave, but it’s absolutely heartbreaking.

If there’s an alcoholic in your life, what has happened to them?

Some in my immediate an extended family

Most died bloated with ascites, with fingers and feet so swollen they looked like something out of a horror film

OP - Death is what happened to person in my family who drank too much - had a stroke at 58 and died.

Ex-SIL. Died after choking on her own vomit, not found for days. She also completely fucked her daughter up from a very early age.

My adult son. He's lost his children, restraining orders and child protection plans.
Multiple times in prison, including present time.
This is just the tip of the iceberg.
My heart is completely broken and I take medication to anaesthesise my feelings.
I have prayed, hoped, begged etc

48 years ago in January DDad asked DM to go to AA, or he’d be leaving with us children (4,7,12,15). And that was the last time she had an alcoholic drink. AA meetings have featured very heavily in her life since; her social life is largely based around AA friends.

So what became of the alcoholic in my life. They dried out with support, and had a normal life.

Same
Mother dead 52
Husband dead 37
Left me and my children to live a better life

Mm, my Dad.

We don’t have much of a relationship these days, apart from the very occasional drunk mumbly 10 second phone call, he sounds completely brain dead - on a good day.

I’m 34, he’s met his only Grandchild maybe twice or so, he’s no big loss.

Protect your baby. I grew up thinking my Dad’s rubbish (back then and the sporadic input over the years) had no real impact on me, it’s only recently that I realise it has.

I wish you and your Bab all the light and love in the world, don’t anchor yourselves to a sinking ship.

x

My DP. Hit rock bottom, sober for 3 years and in AA
goes to meetings 3 times a week every week and never misses one for anything

I know 4, all close family members. 1 is 50+ years sober in there 70s, one is sober but has relapsed intermittently over the years, other is 6 years sober, and sadly one died in there 40s from drinking. All bare the scars, sober or not. It’s a horrible illness.

My brother, he died alone aged 56.

blamed everyone around him, his wife etc.

His wife put up with more than I would, eventually left to save the children. She was right.

Yep my ex is a functioning alcoholic. Cost him our marriage. He now lives with someone who doesn't drink???? Best is his ex was an alcoholic and died early due to it.

Unless they admit they have a problem theres nothing you can do. Protect you & your kids

My aunt was an alcoholic, your stereotypical alcoholic. Went to rehab multiple times, never able to work. Woke up and straight on the spirits. She became jaundiced and died. She was in her 40s.

My dad is an alcoholic. Not stereotypical. He holds down a full time job and doesn’t drink until he gets in but he drinks between 5-8cans of beer per night: he goes through phases of acnkowledging he has a problem and wanting to stop, to then justifying that as he’s been able to stop for a few weeks that shows he’s not an alcoholic and so starts drinking again but promises this time he will cut down. He never does. He’s 62. I dread to think about how his health will be in 10 years

I know of 2 who both died from alcoholism in their mid-fifties.

The ones I know/knew either cut down very significantly, fully stopped, or passed away. Not sure their deaths could all be directly attributed to alcohol though.

Yes I know a few alcoholics
my dad for one
he died at 53 of total organ failure

op you can’t fix him or make it any worse for him that all down to him

such sad stories on here 😞

My brother he rarely drinks now and has replaced drinking with heavy weed jaw but apparently it’s not addictive or an issue 😞

My very close friend who is in denial or what she says it appears that way but I think she knows

i suspect a few other people I know are or dependent more on alcohol than they want to admit to. Lots drink way over recommended amount, socialising has to involve drink or they are waiting to have a drink, lots of having a month off, detoxing etc

My mother was alcoholic for a number of years. It was after I'd left home. I'm not sure how she did it, but she sobered up and got control but would relapse occasionally. By the end of her life she was drinking about two bottles of wine per week (at 92) judging by her shopping orders.

My DH's uncle was on the verge of death 10 years ago. He just about squeaked through and is now sober, again I don't know if he goes to AA or had rehab or how it happened. His partner stuck with him. He's about 70 now.

Your ex was so young. Did he have an accident whilst drunk?

Killed himself because he was going to prison after being done for drink driving for the millionth time!

I suspect my uncle was one but I don't know for sure, I once found him passed out next to the toilet when I was staying at his place, he died of cancer though.

Growing up I never saw either of my parents drunk, I thought this was the norm, therefore I never get drunk in front of my kids and DH is TT, never even tried it.

Relative - fell down the stairs, fractured skull and died - left 1 young child. Relatives sibling, tried to kill themselves twice - succeeded the 3rd time leaving 2 children behind. One of these children now early 20’s has a drink and drug problem after finding their parent dead in the bike shed.

Drank heavily for 5 years, dead at 49.

My step-father. I despised him and I hated my mother for not leaving him. It took years of therapy to accept what my childhood was and I didn’t speak to my mother for a few years

A long time ago. One man died in his late fifties, he had stomach and lung cancer. He had been a successful and quite talented man but drink led to ruin, he ended up on skid row. His ex wife and child (one child had died), gave him some support, they loved him but wife could not live with him, she was better without. It was sad but, knowing him, it was inevitable.

A girl with whom I was at school and remained friendly died at 36 of a heart attack in her sleep. That was devastating, she had tried so hard. She left a husband and three children.

Got another one.
Uncle was an alcoholic. Whisky was his drink. He was single, no kids. Never drove.

Managed to hold down a job and was quite intelligent.
I think he tried rehab but it never really went away. Struggled with it.

He made it to 64. Can't remember what he died of now. It was some years ago now.