To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?

[LadyGreyjoy]

We have an 18 month old and have just got back from a week all inclusive in Spain. Obviously we did just parent out daughter in a different place, but I don't see that as a bad thing and certainly not a reason to say there was no point in going. I love being a mum, I waited a long time for my daughter due to infertility and I've been dreaming of family holidays for years. Whilst I still had to do the parenting (which I enjoy doing anyway) I didn't have to cook, wash up or clean, the food was lovely and far better than we cook at home, I did no laundry for a week and instead of working all day and only getting two hours in the evening with my daughter a day I got to play in the pool/on the beach with her all day every day for a week. After she was asleep instead of watching TV and being too tired to do anything we sat on the balcony listening to the music from the bar and drank cocktails and chatted, real quality time with my husband I am usually too tired to enjoy.

On here there are many threads making out a holiday with small children is shit and not worth the effort and that hasn't been my experience at all. The journey there and back was a bit rough and exactly what I expected it to be like tbh. Other than that it's been bliss and I would 10/10 recommend people go and do it. I was kind of dreading it after reading all the threads here but I wish I hadn't worried about it so much now.

Try doing that with two fighting teenagers as a single parent and see how much fun it is.

I am definitely in your tribe OP. I always loved my holidays with two DCs when they were younger. We always went 'self catering' too though we never self catered apart from a bit of breakfast and a bbq perhaps - we would eat out most of time. DH and I absolutely loved our holidays and our DCs have wonderful memories of those times that they are now beginning to recreate with their own DCs.

There was no same shit different place. Always loved being a parent and loved spending time with my DCs and I still do. Just my take on things!

I feel people who say ‘I was only doing caravan parks type of hols and did the same thing than at home but in a caravan’ wouldn’t say ‘I’ve been going away on hols with dh in a caravan park. It wasn’t a hols. Just doing the same things in a caravan rather than at home’.

they wouldn’t say that because it presumably wouldn’t be the same with dh? Dinners out? Drinking cocktails on the terrace? Lie ins?

Eh? Where did she say that?

She said it was as she expected, and rough in parts.

It massively depends on the child/children. I'm honestly happy for people (and envious) who have lovely biddable babies and toddlers who can sleep anywhere and are unfazed by extra stimulation, different food etc.

It does sometimes seem that people who have easy babies really don't understand. Joe Wicks used to wang on about how you have to travel with small kids, it's fine, it's easy, they love it etc. He now got 4 and I've noticed he doesn't say it any more so perhaps the youngest two were a bit more... challenging.

My first baby would only sleep in a cot in the dark. Great when we were at home. Dreadful anywhere else, he'd get overtired and scream. We just didn't go on holiday until he was 2 and a half. But by then his favourite activity was running off. Airport, ran off. Hotel, ran off. Swimming pool, ran off. Restaurant, ran off. I actually used to lose weight on holiday because I was constantly running after him. It was not relaxing at all! Our second was a bolter as well and a mega fussy eater. Once they got to 7 or so, holidays were a joy again but the early years were HARD work.

Oh come on, read the op and follow up posts

she doesn’t want to talk about her holiday

Irrelevant, the title of the thread is '"holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place"

I mean good for you OP but not everyone lives the same life. A lot of parents DO find it hard parenting on holiday and that can be for a variety of reasons. Maybe you will find it tricky one day, or maybe you won’t. I found it difficult with DC1 because they would not sleep and then were up at the crack of dawn so I was utterly exhausted. Some kids don’t sleep well when they’re away from home and you end up shattered. Now that I have two DC it is tiring because they are both on different body locks. Does it mean I never have fun on holiday? No. But do I often return home completely exhausted? Yes.

When she said

“ it's been bliss and I would 10/10 recommend people go and do it. “

Your OP comes across as really smug. An all inclusive with one toddler who sleeps is of course going to to be easier than other holidays. We went to centre parks with my in-laws when my eldest was that age and I have awful flashbacks to pushing her around in the pram at 1am to get her to sleep.

It’s lovely that you had a lovely holiday and I’m sure this thread would make anyone struggling feel amazing.

Also, don’t forget that an easy child at 18m might not be as easy when they’re older.

I’m on a similar trip with a 4 year old right now. And it’s still just as OP describes. Yes there have been a few tears here and there (one tantrum because we threw some rubbish in the bin that he wanted kept 🙃) but I’m not cooking, cleaning, we are spending our time swimming and sunbathing and it’s way better than being at home. We also did a self-catering caravan holiday last year in UK and I felt the same about that too even though the weather was worse.

I've never understood it either. I love taking our children on holiday, we have 6 and they all really enjoy it. I dont class self catering as a holiday for me, that literally is same work, different house, but they all have a great time. I think they all actually get on better when we're away.

What do you mean? She works long days and is happy to have had a lovely week long holiday where she was able to give her dd her undivided attention.

Isn't the eternal juggling act?

sweet Jesus

So you do understand it if it’s a self catering holiday!

Which bit of that says 'But the OP is saying it's not hard and that you should go anyway.' ?

It’s not a problem for you as you have one 18m old who sleeps. That is not a universal experience for all. How is this so hard for you to grasp?

To give kids experiences, to travel and have a break from routine. Its bloody hard work with 3 at any age out of routine and familiarity anywhere on a budget!

It's often worth it but easy peasy and bliss it is not.

I think the key phrase is ‘I don’t understand…..’ just because you don’t understand others experience doesn’t make their experiences less valid. Surely you know some some people have a harder time parenting than you do.

I’ve had several experiences whereby my child wanted to stay in the hotel room all day because there was a big screen TV that we don’t have in our house. There’s no explaining to a 4 year old that the TV doesn’t show their favourite cartoon in English… they don’t get that but they will have a massive tantrum every single day because the TV is right there.

I’ve had issues because my child refuses to put suncream on but is very fair skin so we can’t go out in the sun without it and I’ve had to chase my child around the room and wrestle the sun cream on them. I’ve had issues because one child is hungry and wants to go to the buffet but the other child won’t get out of bed and neither can be left alone.

theres many situations that don’t arise at home, or are harder to manage on holiday. And all this whilst you’ve spent thousands to have a ‘holiday’ can sometimes feel like rubbing salt in the wound that you’re not getting a ‘holiday’

does that help your understanding?

I'm not saying that actually...

Daughter still wanted to stick her fingers in the plug sockets and run off and do whatever she does at home. Is till had to watch her like a hawk all week because there was no baby proofing like at home. Meal times were still awkward and we didn't get to sit round perusing the tapas for 3 hours because we have a toddler.

I just don't think that is a reason to call the whole thing a waste of time and no better than being at home. We got to do all the stuff we have to do anyway in a nicer place and surely that's the whole point?

OMG she is allowed to talk about her own dd and her own experiences! She hasn't said your dd can sleep.

I am with you OP. I have done weekends away, a trip to Spain and overnights etc since my son was born 5 years ago and we have his little sister now too. I thoroughly enjoy spending holidays with my children

When people say this they usually aren't talking about one toddler between two adults at an all inclusive.

Just been on a lovely holiday with my two now they are 8 and 10. When they were more like 2 and 4 it was a lot harder. Oldest HATES being hot and so somewhere hot and sunny she would just cry unless she was inside. Neither enjoyed unfamiliar foods. Youngest naps would go out of the window and neither would sleep at a reasonable time so we'd have countless overtired meltdowns. I could go on and on tbh. It doesn't take a lot of imagination to see why it might be hard.

But you’re not talking for everyone either.

My hols with my two (18 months in between them) has always self catering/camping.
Ive never felt it was horrendously hard. I have great memories. From toddler to teenagers.

Im not sure why you’re seem to think it’s ok for you to say it’s hard and exiect ig people to agree.
But someone else says it’s been great and theyre smug p/had easy chikdren/whatever.

I mean, if it was that hard, why did you on hols in the first place? No one needs to be a martyr fur anyone, incl their children right?

Yes! And holidays just seem to add to the need to play and interact with their own children.

Self catering in Spain, 3-6 weeks every year from DC’s being born. Such precious memories of long sunny days, beach games, learning to swim, eating local food outside, local markets, board games, bedtime stories, music events, train rides to the nearest city.

They had little tasks to add to their pocket money to spend at the market every Friday.

Loved it!