To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?

[LadyGreyjoy]

We have an 18 month old and have just got back from a week all inclusive in Spain. Obviously we did just parent out daughter in a different place, but I don't see that as a bad thing and certainly not a reason to say there was no point in going. I love being a mum, I waited a long time for my daughter due to infertility and I've been dreaming of family holidays for years. Whilst I still had to do the parenting (which I enjoy doing anyway) I didn't have to cook, wash up or clean, the food was lovely and far better than we cook at home, I did no laundry for a week and instead of working all day and only getting two hours in the evening with my daughter a day I got to play in the pool/on the beach with her all day every day for a week. After she was asleep instead of watching TV and being too tired to do anything we sat on the balcony listening to the music from the bar and drank cocktails and chatted, real quality time with my husband I am usually too tired to enjoy.

On here there are many threads making out a holiday with small children is shit and not worth the effort and that hasn't been my experience at all. The journey there and back was a bit rough and exactly what I expected it to be like tbh. Other than that it's been bliss and I would 10/10 recommend people go and do it. I was kind of dreading it after reading all the threads here but I wish I hadn't worried about it so much now.

She's napping.

Why are you so angry?

My children are now teens
I’ve always loved holidays with them as a single mum

what I don’t like is OPs expressing faux ignorance about why other people view holidays - when a holiday can mean very very different things!

with the sole intention of trying to make others who have a difference experiences feel shit

I'm glad you had a lovely holiday. Hope your toddler enjoyed it.

The personal attacks just keep coming with you don't they?

Why are you so angry?

Going on holiday doesn’t remove the day to day challenges people experience with parenting young kids - eating, sleeping or tantrums. Actually being out of routine, somewhere exciting and away from their surroundings can make all these things more common.

Sometimes when you’ve spent a lot of money on a holiday and your annual leave and the tantrums are worse than at home, the sleep is worse than at home and the child is not eating then people can wonder why they bothered. Yes they might not be cleaning or cooking but the lack of routine is making the day to day bits worse without the comfort of home-things to make it easier or help diffuse the situation.

They obviously do still view going away and having some family time as a net benefit as they will likely book again but it’s also fair that they say, same shit different place.

Exactly this. It’s a smug post.

You have an ‘easy’ 18 month old.

Please come back when you have a 2 year old and a 3 year old. And you’re in self catering. And you can’t take your eyes off either one all week. It’s actually easier being at home.

What I will say is I wish I’d appreciated how easy one child was and gone in more holidays. Enjoy it but stop being so smug and annoying.

I am a horse owner too, well actually technically my mare was recently pts and I haven’t replaced yet but I can ride at home 7 days a week if I choose as there’s 4 in the field that I don’t own but have unlimited access to. I’d still rather ride on hol than be in a hotel for a week or two. I’m amazed you have the time though with your working pattern!

Toddler friendly holidays would bore me senseless though I’m afraid. I wait until DD is with her dad and then holiday how I prefer. With DD I like days out so will take 2 weeks off and go out to different places, with the odd overnight hotel stay where logistics require it. But I’d rather do a day at the beach, a day at a castle, or a theme park or zoo etc and sleep in my own bed than 2 weeks in one place on repeat. Centre Parcs weekend is the maximum pool time I can face.

It's not faux ignorance.

I even said that it WAS just parenting in a different place in agreement with the statement. I just don't see why it's a problem.

The fact that you think that is fake is a you problem I'm afraid.

I've always said I'd rather do fewer holidays and do the type I like. Lots of people on here and in life advocate a self catering break with a cottage or a static caravan or things like Butlins. No thanks. I can imagine those holidays aren't much respite with very young children, especially in the UK where the weather isn't reliable. Each to their own but I don't see the point of going on a holiday that's clearly going to be loads of work then complaining about it. Pick a holiday that will give you some kind of relaxation and if you can't do that why go?

Bit smug and blinkered, OP. Not everyone has the lifestyle you do.

I know what you mean, OP.

A change is as good as a rest. And a change and a rest is the best.

It sounds lovely, I love AI holidays, though I come back 5 pounds heavier.

Sorry but having x1 child on holiday and x2 adults is absolutely nowhere near comparable to taking x2 or more children. One adult takes the child, the other gets a break. Try taking a baby and toddler or toddler and preschooler and then write back and let us know if it’s relaxing!!!

Also many people just don’t have the money to spend £££ on an all inclusive abroad that might be a break, it might not be, and they might all enjoy a caravan holiday just as much. We couldn’t justify the cost as we needed the money for other urgent things and the baby didn’t care if they were abroad or not

there are always lots of posts on mumsnet too about how parents of x1 enjoy the school holidays so much with such a calm child when we are in the trenches negotiating everything, calming arguments and trying to please multiple ages!!

You have 1 child and went all inclusive. That so isn’t the reality for most families. I don’t think you really get to speak and decide what holidays are like for everybody on that basis.

Never been all inclusive,not my bag.
I’ve been married 35 years with 3 grow up children.Wherever we went was on a budget and self catering. Managing 3 is a world away to 1 so yeah it was the same parenting woes but in a different location. Exhausting and stressful. Would I do it all again? Yes but it is what it is and feel other parents should be aware before shelling out shedloads as you often come back feeling more exhausted than when you went.

Kids have amazing memories though.

Imagine having the Op as your DM or MIL?

You would never dare open up and confide how you feel because the cats bum expression on the OP’s face would say it all

Not everyone can afford all inclusive holidays, OP, strange as it may seem! 😮

I'm glad for you op but I feel the most it isn't this rosy

And not many would want it tbh

But why go? It's obvious a self catering holiday with 2 under 3 will be hard work.
I didn't have an easy one ds didn't sleep through the night until he was 3 so we didn't take him abroad until then! What I don't understand is people who do go then complain it was hard. Well yes.

I think that's a bit unfair. It's posters being cats bum faced to OP, she just had a holiday and wants to talk about it, nowt wrong with that.

Yes I’m never sure of the point if these smug threads ( although the my smugness is way heartier as I know what OP has to come especially if she has more kids!
and of course because those hideous -fun but hard work- holidays are well and truly over now for me !)

It reminds me of those first time mums whose baby sleeps through the night from day 21 as if it’s a reflection on them personally and proudly tells everyone - but especially their frazzled counterparts with eyes hanging out if their heads, demented with sleep deprivation.
lol to first time mums
all been there but tone it down love!

I agree with you @LadyGreyjoy

I feel people who say ‘I was only doing caravan parks type of hols and did the same thing than at home but in a caravan’ wouldn’t say ‘I’ve been going away on hols with dh in a caravan park. It wasn’t a hols. Just doing the same things in a caravan rather than at home’.

Yes self catering isn’t as ‘easy’ than a fully inclusive hols. Yes you have more to do. It doesn’t mean it’s not a hols.

And it’s also ok to go away with al all inclusive. Many people do!! I’m not sure why you’re been criticised for that!

Its like the fact you dint experience things like them is making you somehow wrong/making people feel bad etc….

But the OP is saying it's not hard and that you should go anyway.

As a single parent I like to holiday with parents / siblings so my kids don’t out number me 😜.

Ive read a few of the parenting in a diff place and I think some of the challenges come from a mixture of expectations, shit DPs that have hogged all the free time and kids that sound like they might have SEN.

I flew long haul to meet up with family when DC were 4 and just turned 2. It was much easier on my own than with their dad who would complain he only got to watch two movies…