To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?

[LadyGreyjoy]

We have an 18 month old and have just got back from a week all inclusive in Spain. Obviously we did just parent out daughter in a different place, but I don't see that as a bad thing and certainly not a reason to say there was no point in going. I love being a mum, I waited a long time for my daughter due to infertility and I've been dreaming of family holidays for years. Whilst I still had to do the parenting (which I enjoy doing anyway) I didn't have to cook, wash up or clean, the food was lovely and far better than we cook at home, I did no laundry for a week and instead of working all day and only getting two hours in the evening with my daughter a day I got to play in the pool/on the beach with her all day every day for a week. After she was asleep instead of watching TV and being too tired to do anything we sat on the balcony listening to the music from the bar and drank cocktails and chatted, real quality time with my husband I am usually too tired to enjoy.

On here there are many threads making out a holiday with small children is shit and not worth the effort and that hasn't been my experience at all. The journey there and back was a bit rough and exactly what I expected it to be like tbh. Other than that it's been bliss and I would 10/10 recommend people go and do it. I was kind of dreading it after reading all the threads here but I wish I hadn't worried about it so much now.

Op your holiday sounds fine. Most parents have different types & multiple children which I’m sure you can imagine is harder than 1, especially when they don’t nap any longer & parents are constantly refereeing etc - after a few years the playing loses its shine a bit too.

We’re lulled into thinking we’ll be able to relax on holiday but without home comforts & children out of routine it’s not always easy.

Well the OP’s knight in shining armour has rode in!

I loved beIng a stay at home parent when my kids were small. We lived in a seaside town so there was lots to do even in the winter.

Our first holiday with ds1 tho’ was so challenging we tried to come home early. He wouldn’t sleep unless I lay down with him. He was constantly running off in the campsite so we couldn’t sit down without entertaining him constantly. There was absolutely no chance of dh and I having any quality chats in the evening because he was up until
all hours.

He was later found to be autistic with adhd!

I can't even voice this opinion in real life without sounding smug but I totally agree. Mine are now 6 and 4 and I've always loved going on holiday with them and we've never done AI. Yes they're 'easy' children and we're very fortunate in that regard but they are a joy to hang out with and we appreciate the time we spend together that is otherwise filled with work/ school/ activities etc.

Someone's pissed off on being called out for their 'cats bum face' comment 😂

Good for you, OP. We took our 5yo and 2yo for a week abroad and it was hell! £3k down the drain, it was absolutely awful and genuinely, I hated most of it 😭😭😭 I wish I didn't feel that way, I feel like a horrible person for feeling like this.

Woop-di-wooo for you.

maybe you’re just a better parent than me. Or maybe your child is a better child than mine.

is that what you want to hear? 🤪

(not meant in a mean way!)

@AhBiscuits and it doesn’t take a lot of imagination that
1- you decide what your hols will be around your dcs needs. Don’t go somewhere hot if they have issues with it. Find self catering accommodation where your dcs will be able to nap when they need to etc…
2- having more children, more than 1, is a choice. If you’re struggling to cope with more children, then it’s not the OP’s fault. And it doesn’t mean it’s automatically harder or that she is talking bollocks.

Did all of this 100% and it was still hell.

Because you’ve got 1 child between 2 adults which is not hard and were all inclusive!!!!

If you couldn’t cope with 1 child and nothing to do but eat meals cooked for you and a beach to play on I’d worry.

laughs in toddler twin mum

Depends on who is saying it - from IL I think "hoildays" were "their" thing so didn't like us doing them.

DH had a serious accident before I could get him to book a hoilday - eldest was 4 youngest a young toddler - sef catering butlins - was absolutely great - exhausting and really busy.

So we never came back of holiday rested - which some people expect even post kids. IL even when DH was little expect to spend a lot of time drinking and talking - harder to do round young kids. Money being tight and somewhere where everything costs can add to stress - some kids find change really hard or can at certain points - so for some it can be worse than staying at home - as all the normal stuff but additional stresses and holiday expectations - then it said to make posters feel a bit better.

Surely it depends on the holiday? Try spending a week in a tent, self catering as eating out all the time is too expensive, with only 2 gas rings and a grill.

That's harder than normal life, far from a relaxing holiday. But I love it anyway as I love being with DC.

Not all kids are the same. Not all parents are the same. Why is that difficult to understand? My two kids walked really early (9 and 10 months). They were both extremely adventurous since a very young age. To cite some examples of why it was stressful: we were on holiday the day she turned 7 months, in a house with stairs. She went all the way up 2 flights of stairs (concrete ones with tile) that day and do not stop after that so that was me going up and down the stairs next to her constantly. I know kids that barely move at that age, some don't even crawl...she also once jumped in a pool at 2 years old while on holiday and I had to jump to get her , I was 34 weeks pregnant. When my son was 18 months, he locked himself in a bedroom then on the on suite of that bedroom while holidaying in an apartment. We had to ring reception and wait 10 min for the keys of those doors, he also once ran in a lift that was about to close and I barely stopped the thing closing with my foot.I am a very anxious person and I still keep my eyes on them at all times (or try) but they have always been very fast and very determined,so I can understand why some parents don't want to travel when they are young. If you have a calm kid that is a very different experience you are getting.

A lot of MN posters complain about doing exactly that though and seem to think it's not a holiday because they have to do parenting.

Hence the thread.

And it wasn’t fir me.

Does it mean I did holidays wrong?
Or I don’t know what I’m talking about?

Why should it an issue to say you enjoyed your hols with your child…. I really don’t get it.

If you dint, then you dint. I think it’s a real shame.
But why make people feel bad if they do?

I always had a lovely time on holiday with my kids too.

Yes they weren’t lie on a sunbed for 8 hours a day but that wasn’t my kind of holiday anyway.

My two aren’t fussy eaters, and have always slept. They also don’t really push boundaries/misbehave/scream. They may have a slight wobble if worried but I would take them to visit the airport before we flew (easy when you live close to city airport) to talk them through it all.

Its also a very different experience travelling with one child as opposed to two or more.

Im with you op. Have loved all the holidays with the kids. Time with them, gorgeous swims and walks and lovely balcony wine when they are asleep after all the swimming. Harder than before kids, sure but way nicer than the daily grind. I have teens now and dreading the day they don't want to come with us.

I agree OP. Parenting in a sunnier location, staying in some kind of accommodation that is not my shit heap of a house and either eating out or cooking easy meals is absolutely a holiday.

And our kids didn't really sleep so we all just went to bed at the same time - again, a holiday from the bedtime battles and I got 10 hours of broken sleep instead of 7 hours. What's not to love.

No they don’t.

MNers moan when they have more than 1
child and are having to sort out everything they do at home but in a different harder location.

You have 1 child who hasn’t even reached 2 and haven’t really experienced proper travel with said child.

Read the room. This is a parenting site with thousands of mums who have a fair bit more experience than you on this topic .

Goodness why? Guess you'd tried gentle sleep training...? How long did you have to do this for (age)?

Because they find it hard in some way that you don't. It's not that difficult to understand and it doesn't mean you're better at going on holiday than they are (or better at parenting either). It just means they probably won't bother going on holiday with small children and can sympathise with others who don't enjoy it. I've never seen anyone say 'don't go on holiday with small children' but I have seen people say 'readjust your expectations' which I'm sure you agree with.

I'm glad you had a nice holiday though.

You are not horrible. It's hard work. We once went for 3 weeks abroad when they were 4 and a half and 18 months (long haul-4 flights there and 4 back) and omg it put us off holidays for a few years, my son had motion sickness and vomited multiple times in one of the flights, then they didn't manage the heat well and were just finding it so hard, add to this that they just ran in different directions 😭. We braved it again when they were much older (9 and 7) but only a 4 hour flight. What a difference. We had a great holiday.

I’ve done all sorts of holidays with my children at all sorts of ages (they’re 11 and 13 now) and enjoyed them all. The different location is the whole point - news sights to see, potentially better weather, a general “holiday” atmosphere. My only regret is that we haven’t done more!

Ah ok, you are saying that some parents don't enjoy holidays because they have to be with their children all the time.

Did none of the posts on this thread with people giving their experiences make you see this any differently?