To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?

[LadyGreyjoy]

We have an 18 month old and have just got back from a week all inclusive in Spain. Obviously we did just parent out daughter in a different place, but I don't see that as a bad thing and certainly not a reason to say there was no point in going. I love being a mum, I waited a long time for my daughter due to infertility and I've been dreaming of family holidays for years. Whilst I still had to do the parenting (which I enjoy doing anyway) I didn't have to cook, wash up or clean, the food was lovely and far better than we cook at home, I did no laundry for a week and instead of working all day and only getting two hours in the evening with my daughter a day I got to play in the pool/on the beach with her all day every day for a week. After she was asleep instead of watching TV and being too tired to do anything we sat on the balcony listening to the music from the bar and drank cocktails and chatted, real quality time with my husband I am usually too tired to enjoy.

On here there are many threads making out a holiday with small children is shit and not worth the effort and that hasn't been my experience at all. The journey there and back was a bit rough and exactly what I expected it to be like tbh. Other than that it's been bliss and I would 10/10 recommend people go and do it. I was kind of dreading it after reading all the threads here but I wish I hadn't worried about it so much now.

I actually really like it! I love having week days off instead, everything is quieter and things like the doctors and dentists are open.

I work Saturday and have Sunday off to spend with my family having Sunday dinner with grandparents and my daughter and my husband has Saturday off to see his parents/brother and works Sundays.

I don't like that me and my husband only get evenings together unless we use annual leave for family days out but I love that we both get equal time with our daughter and don't need child care as we would have to give a lot of things up to pay for it. Neither of us would swap for a mon-fri 9-5. I definitely recommend condensed hours and weekend working if the opportunity to do so is available 😃

A lot of people regret having children but of course can’t openly admit it.

I’m with you OP, i appreciate maybe we were lucky but she was great on holiday, went to sleep fine and we sat on the balcony, some evenings slept in the pushchair at the bar (sat away from the stage etc so not too loud)
Now at 9 she stays up to watch any entertainment so we don’t need to go sit in the room, she’s done this since about 5, will just take a nap on a lounger the next day if tired.
Glad you had a good holiday, i love ours.

People are probably talking about holidays with small children. Not one child.
I found going on holiday with one 18 month old fine but with a baby and toddler harder. I did once see someone at center parcs with baby twins and toddler twins. Looked hard work

Will you be so keen on weekend working when your little one is at school?

Been there done that with twins the toddler and a six year old also
they had a ball, hard work for us though x

We prefer adventure holidays and have never been resort people, we usually find them boring but we have a toddler so we compromised and actually had a good time. Without a toddler to play with it would be boring! A week on a lounger isn't for me. Neither is getting so drunk I need to sleep all day though!

I have my own horse and ride at home so that needs is fulfilled for me. Unfortunately my husband rode once and declared never again so riding holidays are off the table anyway. Oh well, hopefully daughter will get into it when she gets older and we can go riding on the beach in france or something.

But you’re out 6am-7pm 4 days a weeks…. That sounds… well, hats off I couldn’t and wouldn’t do it

Thankfully many years ago now it’s just DH n I having earned our stripes now doing road trips and luxury flop n drops. Glad we did the hols but 3/4 kids is nothing like 1.

Well I took my young niece and nephew on a few holidays after their mum died. They were aged between 4 and 10 across the 3 trips.we made in 4 years and I enjoyed all.of them. They are both NT and the holidays were lovely.

A few years later, taking my ASD and ADHD child on holiday was a completely different experience. I have not had a holiday with DS that was not very stressful since he was a tiny baby. Our trip to the US for the first 6 months of his life was tiring but OK but as his issues became clearer and he could express himself more holidays became very very stressful and almost not worth it.

Nowadays he is an adult and he is still reasonably stressful to go on holiday with

Yeah that sounds nice. When my children were little we usually went camping in the UK. It almost always rained. I still had to cook most evenings. It could be difficult to get the kids to go to sleep because being in a tent was so exciting. There was no balcony or cocktails and the weather often wasn’t good enough to sit outside of an evening so DH and I would be in the tent with them trying to read by torchlight. The child who used to get up at 5am at home still got up at 5am on a campsite. To be fair the kids absolutely loved it and that was the main thing. I look back on those trips fondly now but they were hard work at the time and not really a holiday for me.

We were able to do a couple of self-catering trips abroad when the kids were a bit older. Those were lovely but both kids are very fair so we had to negotiate to get them out of the pool so they could spend a few hours in the shade in the hottest part of the day. The faff of suncream and hats was no more fun in the Med than it was at home. I still had to cook at least half the evenings. And the child who got up at 5am still got up at 5am in Portugal and in Croatia. 😂

An all inclusive with one well-behaved child sounds like a different thing altogether.

I don't find it difficult, the day flies by.

A 5 day stretch of work with the next day off being a looooooooong way away I used to find difficult.

We're all different 🤷

I don’t do a 5 day stretch either! 😆

4 days 9.30-3 and bloomin love it

I think it’s more often said about self-catering, which is often the only thing affordable.

Also, it often seems to be when one parent is leaving the other to do all the work! Sounds like that’s thankfully not the case for you.

Finally, all children are different! And have their tricky phases at different times. Plus one child is different to several!

My point is… if you’re away from your child 6am-7pm 4 days a week, and then on your days with her - ypur husband is at work…. it isn’t any wonder that you are desperate for some proper family down time

Working part time is obviously different to working full time 😂

I'd like to work part time but it's not financially viable for us unfortunately!

I would absolutely love an all inclusive holiday with the kids. But we are too nervous about going:

-23 month old wakes up 10+ times a night.
-23 month old wouldn’t sit still on a plane
-5 year old still not keen on swimming
-We would end up splitting up for the day to deal with a child each, inc when 23 month wants to nap

We're all different
Exactly. So why start a thread saying you "don't understand" people having a different view to yours on this?

I really don't see what your point is actually.

We wanted it, we got it, we thoroughly enjoyed it.

Maybe the people who complain about family holidays need to see eachother less so they appreciate eachother more, is that the point?

I think that's quite obvious from the OP.

I've loved holidays with my DC at all ages, preschool being the best age. I'm with you OP, even when I've done self catering there had still been a weight lifted, it's more relaxing than being at home and I can give DC more attention so their behaviour is often better. There will be exceptions to it for DC who struggle with changes, but on the whole I think it's people's expectations that spoil the holiday. You are not going to be led on a sun lounger through the day and then enjoying a peaceful meal with drinks and adult entertainment in the evening. It will be child focused chaos but you can lean into that and have fun.

Exactly!

I'm glad you enjoyed it OP it sounds like you work hard and deserved the break, but your post is smug. You cannot possibly compare your very brief and limited parenting experience with everyone else and then claim you don't understand why others find it difficult. I'm wondering how many times on average per meal did your child get up and run off? How many meals were spent taking turns eating because one of you had to do a pointless walk around with the child. How many nights did you sit alone on that balcony because your Dh was trying to get baby to sleep for 90 mins, or vice versa. Or how many nights you were woken more than 3 times, or how many mornings began before 5am. You still haven't been through the toddler years, most people would find one 18 month old relatively easy, you are not special in that regard.

Isn’t today one of your days with your daughter op? And you’re spending it on your mumsnet thread expressing faux ignorance about how other people view holidays (which can be SO different!!)