To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?

[LadyGreyjoy]

We have an 18 month old and have just got back from a week all inclusive in Spain. Obviously we did just parent out daughter in a different place, but I don't see that as a bad thing and certainly not a reason to say there was no point in going. I love being a mum, I waited a long time for my daughter due to infertility and I've been dreaming of family holidays for years. Whilst I still had to do the parenting (which I enjoy doing anyway) I didn't have to cook, wash up or clean, the food was lovely and far better than we cook at home, I did no laundry for a week and instead of working all day and only getting two hours in the evening with my daughter a day I got to play in the pool/on the beach with her all day every day for a week. After she was asleep instead of watching TV and being too tired to do anything we sat on the balcony listening to the music from the bar and drank cocktails and chatted, real quality time with my husband I am usually too tired to enjoy.

On here there are many threads making out a holiday with small children is shit and not worth the effort and that hasn't been my experience at all. The journey there and back was a bit rough and exactly what I expected it to be like tbh. Other than that it's been bliss and I would 10/10 recommend people go and do it. I was kind of dreading it after reading all the threads here but I wish I hadn't worried about it so much now.

It depends on whether its self catering or catered.
I have a ND son.
We tried camping. He escaped the tent.
We tried caravanning (tourer). He would escape the awning.
We tried caravanning (static). Marginally better but was at risk of going into the kitchen and turning the gas on.

Mine didn't sleep more than two hours in a row at that age. And has ADHD so not relaxing at all.

But then I don't love being a mum like you... <sarcasm>

I went to Greece with my daughter when she was a year old. She was fine except for one moment on the beach, when we had to leave. When we arrived in hotel she had a huge smile on her face and had done the most humongous nappy job ever. Well, that texplained the screaming, poor mite. I was really proud of her.

I think it really depends on

• how many children you have. Holidays with only one are much easier with small children.
• Where you go. Well designed, all-inclusives are probably easier with small children but they’re not to everyone’s taste/budget (and some don’t live up to expectations). We’ve also been over-ambitious at times and with small kids that doesn’t always work and no-one enjoys it, if you’re used to adventurous travelling then adapting to holidays with small children can take some adjustment.
• The temperament of your child (a child that needs very specific routines or food etc is going to be harder than a more relaxed child)
• How much help you have from your partner (or other adults like grandparents or kids clubs)
• Whether your child is in a tricky stage (it’s different for all children/parents. I loved taking my son travelling as a small baby, he was an exhausting liability from 1-2, and I love travelling with him again now he’s 3. Other people I know had less boisterous toddlers but would have found travelling with a newborn difficult, or have a stroppy 3 year old etc)

I don’t think travelling with children is necessarily bad, we’ve had some great trips. But I can also understand why some people find it stressful or don’t have a great time.

I first took mine abroad when they were 5 and 22 months. Self catering. Two weeks in Canaries and we had an absolute blast.

Depends on the set up. I remember going away with DD1 as a baby in the UK and finding that stressful and doing the same stuff but elsewhere, and finding it like moving an army and also extra stresses of finding somewhere to change her when out and about or worrying whether somewhere was child friendly.

By the time she was 18 months and we went away to Spain with the in-laws, it was a bit easier, but less stuff to take and having an extra pair of hands was great, and we had a night out by ourselves as well.

When DD1 was only a few months old we went to Portugal with the inlaws and both DDs, and again we did have some chance to relax while we were there, and were much more used to being parents, but I have to say flying and getting there generally was always stressful with small children and it took me half the week to chill out from that and work.

Because a holiday is a rest.

This quote is from the same kind of people who say things like ‘a holiday with children isn’t a holiday’ or ‘have them close together and get it over with.’ It drives me mad! Have children because you want them, all the time, not just for a short time or when it suits!

That said @divorcinganabsolutewanker , not everyone has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mum, so there’s really no need for such a judgmental comment.

So you have your experience and other people have theirs. It’s a bit like saying you don’t understand why some people like eating marmite and others don’t. It just makes you look uneducated to not be able to realise different people have different experiences and are in different situations.

I don't disagree OP but I think many people think of holidays as relaxing which is never the case when young children are involved hence they think the former as they aren't spending all day chilling out with a book on a sun lounger.

I personally love holidays with my children but I don't go with expectations. As long as they are having fun I'm happy.
We have avoided Spain etc though due to the late eating hours and my children turning into hungry demons in Menorca as a result!

Ah yeah, I'm sure you do.

😂

haha agreed - bless!
’one is such fun’ -yup- but come back when they are 6, the youngest is 18 months and there’s one or two in the middle - carnage lol!!!

I think it’s the type of holiday you have and the type of child you’ve got OP. I’ve loved our holidays with DD (3.5) as we are very lucky that:

• when we have gone abroad we’ve been fortunate to be able to go to a nice all-inclusive, so it’s meant delicious food 24/7 and no cleaning/tidying up/laundry for a week. As we’ve been to the same place, DD asked to go to the kids club this year as she remembered enjoying it last time so we also had a couple of hours to ourselves in the day. This is not our parenting it’s luck
• we love camping, DD luckily also loves it and when we’ve gone we have had nice weather (somehow!)
• DD sleeps well wherever she is and doesn’t need a routine to do so, so she can be up late without being ratty - and usually she just sleeps in a bit later the next morning
• DD eats most things, and likes to sit and do stickers etc at the table, so eating out is (usually) an enjoyable experience. This is not our parenting it’s her personality
• DD is an only child and will remain that way 😂

If I was stuck in a rainy self catering accommodation with multiple small children who didn’t sleep well away from home, didn’t cope without routine, weren’t suited to eating out, and were arguing with me/each other all day I’d wish I’d saved the money and stayed home too.

You both work weekends? That must be hard.

I've always enjoyed holidays with DS, from a baby to older. That includes caravan parks in the UK, SC abroad, AI abroad, long haul, Short haul, cruises. I'm definitely not what someone would call a natural mother either 🤣 so I personally don't get it what people say it's not worth bothering going on holiday with kids.

Agree OP. We had 2/3 holidays a year either DS from age of 14 months to 15 years and never ever felt it was just parenting in a different place. We really had so many fabulous trips.
Even as a moody teen who sat in shade all day, we had great evenings and made brilliant memories

I wouldn’t have missed those trips for the world

I always enjoyed holidays with little kids with a few notable exceptions - a vomity week in Cornwall was unfun - but I was a lonely SAHM so it was nice to have dh around as company. I have always enjoyed a change more than a rest so holidays for me are about seeing new things and being somewhere different and I kept my expectations low because spending so much time with the kids meant I was v aware of what wouldn't work.

I can quite see how if holidays for someone else are lounging by the pool or in the beach with a book, pottering around little villages and trying new foods, or sophisticated art galleries and city breaks, holidays would feel a really disappointing waste of precious annual leave. I like those things too but they are not my main holiday thing which is just being somewhere else quite honestly. Additionally everything is usually fine until one or more kids decides this is the week they're going to be a MASSIVE PAIN IN THE ARSE and you are trying to be sympathetic/gentle but inwardly seething that this is your fucking holiday too. Unfortunately that happens to most people at some point.

I'm glad you had a nice holiday but I don't think other people are failing at it, just having a different experience.

I think when people say this, often what they mean is "We go on holiday and I do all the work of childcare, and all the work before we've even left of planning what the child needs, and all the packing for the whole family, and my DH just decides he's On His Holidays and therefore does bugger all".

Well aren’t you smug.

My idea of a good holiday is getting smashed on cocktails from 11am and sleeping all afternoon then staying up all night in NYC/LA.

Or going trail riding (horses) in the mountains in all weathers and getting lost.

Funnily enough neither is very compatible with small children. So I don’t bother.

You couldn’t pay me to do a boring generic package holiday, but you do you @LadyGreyjoy