Rude people in the theatre

[Katrinawaves]

What goes through people’s heads when they behave poorly in the theatre? We go quite regularly but it’s becoming more and more common to have people chat through the performance or arrive late or leave early.

Last night we went to see Punch at the Apollo which is a really emotionally challenging play which relies heavily on the audience investing in the main characters. There was a woman in the row behind us who had dropped her phone just as the play was starting and was loudly asking everyone around her if they had seen it over the top of the actors performing and moving around and craning in her seat. When she finally found her phone she didn’t bother switching it off, so of course mid way through the first act, it rang loudly and then she couldn’t find it again to silence it quickly so she swore loudly and huffed and puffed until she could! After the interval when she got back to her seat, she again chatted loudly to her companion for the first few minutes of the performance.

it’s so rude and disrespectful both to the performers but also to other theatre goers who have paid £150+ for a seat to watch the play not to listen to somebody’s mundane life dramas!

There was even a spoken announcement at the beginning of the show asking people not to talk or eat noisy food and to switch their phone off so in the unlikely event she didn’t know what normal social etiquette requires she was actually told seconds before she started to act like a toddler.

AIBU to think the theatre staff should ask anyone who makes such a disturbance in the first half of a play to leave at the interval as a deterrent to others and to ensure that they don’t spoil the whole play for others.

I dont eat anything when I go to.the cinema. I dont feel the need.

Nothing wrong with people who do though. They sell food in the cinema and make money from it.

I go to the theatre very regularly and every time there are people talking through it, eating noisily, drinking too much and being obnoxious, letting their children talk loudly and/or move around, singing along to musicals, arriving late and then making a fuss getting to seats when the show is in progress….I could go on! I find it absolutely ridiculous that people can’t just sit still and shut up for a couple of hours to watch the thing everyone has paid lots of money to see!!

It's not to swell profits

Theatres make at least 50% of their money from concessions sales. They literally need that money to function

I once saw a gang of noisy teenage girls thrown out of a cinema for making noise.

Okay then, not to swell profits but to function. I wish this wasn’t the case.

@Katrinawaves
i agree OP- I went to see a musical and the people behind us were so drunk they were singing (badly). Its the first time that it happened.

I wonder if its time to bring back the musical hall on a Friday/Sat night- concerts are so expensive even for the tickets that most people end up in the theatres.

I rarely go to the theatre now because of the audience, which is a shame. I used to go at least once a week, but then they started allowing people to eat and drink, and I think that was the start it. People now behave like they're on the sofa at home, and have no consideration for others. I don't want to be trying to lose myself in a dramatic moment only to have someone opening a smelly bag of crisps, or slurping on their soda pop, or lighting their phone screen to check the time.

I do still go to the opera house, I think it's the only place in London now that doesn't allow food and drink, though even they have started allowing bottled water. And the ushers are fierce - they keep a very close watch and if anyone ever misbehaves even slightly they immediately dash off and glare at them, barely perceptible to the audience... They will certainly turf anyone out if need be. And so the audience behaves, and I don't leave more stressed than when I arrived. Though they do also have 'relaxed performances' for people who really can't go more than half an hour without eating, drinking or chatting, so maybe that's the key.

Theatres are struggling for audiences. Not surprising given the prices for some of them. They are just pleased people are coming to see the play and are unlikely to kick out paying customers unless they are really disruptive. A bit of chatting and light phone use really does not qualify.

Of course the serious attendees might stop going I suppose. What should they pay so much for an experience they don't enjoy?

How can you agree with 99% of what people have said on this thread about people eating, making noise, distracting at cinema and theatre etc and then not see that someone chowing down on a sloppy, slurpy, hot, smelly burger inches from your face whilst you are trying to concentrate on a film in a confined space is the absolute worst and experienced as anything other than gross by the person sat inches from you. I don’t agree that just because The Everyman sell this type of hot food in these circumstances makes it any less tolerable or ignorant.

I experienced a knob head, drunken idiot audience shit show at a Stewart Lee show years ago at the Lowry in Salford.

It was terrible and l dont know how Stewart Lee didn't walk off to the stage.

Also had to turn around and tell a really stupid gob shite of a women to shut up. She wanted to talk all the way through a John Cooper Clark Show.

We can all.leave our phones on accidentally.

But anybody who starts to talk through is theatre or cinema for performance for that matter. Should be given a verbal warning..Then if they do it again

Stop the show and remove them.

And stop these shameless munters,from spoiling our hard earned enjoyment.

I first saw it sat in the round ten years ago. Someone about six inches away from.the actors on stage constantly on her phone in the front row. US tourist. Most of the audience could see her phone lit up let alone those on stage. One of the actors improvised and told her off in character and everyone applauded. She switched her phone off then and I hope she felt mortified.

To be fair, some jukebox musicals do sell themselves as a party atmosphere and a great night out like a concert in their publicity.

@Calliopespa I'd love to see these rowdy kids try that behaviour in front of my old Sunday School superintendent!

There are so many ignorant, selfish people around these days.

In several theatres in Edinburgh, they have removed people behaving this way. At one point, they stopped a show and police came to remove a group of people who were being disruptive and then aggressive towards staff.

It's very disrespectful and infuriating when you've spent a lot to see a show and idiots ruin the experience.

There was a time when the usher could enforce the rules but as a society we’ve eroded soft authority. Can you really expect someone working for minimum wage, or not much more, to take on a person who is already violating social boundaries and more likely than most to kick off violently?

Why did you, and your fellow patrons not deal directly with this person?

I’m not suggesting you should, or should have to. But you probably have more soft power in that situation than an usher does.

My DS works front of house at one of the big West End Theatres and the behaviour of some patrons drives him potty. The problem is when it’s low-level annoyance rather than something really bad - if someone is shouting or causing a major disturbance, the security team will step in and remove them straight away, but when it’s someone sneakily videoing the show on their phone or texting or chatting loudly, the FOH staff will ask them (often repeatedly) to stop, and will hover right by their row to dissuade them - but some people just won’t be told. And then other patrons complain to the FOH team about the bad behaviour… it’s never ending! Baffles me - West End tickets are so expensive, I don’t know why you’d go if you weren’t interested in the performance!

That's why they are changing their advertising to move away from "ultimate party" types.

Most of them also include an announcement telling you not to singing along

Why should the patrons who've paid do the job of us who are paid?

Not the same in every theatre but I know we have been working on how we can deal with the audience management, getting new signage for example to encourage correct behaviour and we do throw people out when their behaviour becomes too bad

Sadly, that does come with abuse. I've seen colleagues cry because people are so vile to them. Others are so ridiculous that they are staffroom legends as a joke. I've got reviews online slagging me off, as have colleagues, for enforcing the rules. I don't care, I want people who've come out to enjoy their night out and not have it ruined by rude people.

I think the problem is probably that the churches are so glad to have anyone these days they dare not put them off!

It is sad - and very disrespectful as it was obvious the family had come to create instagrammable Christmas content, not to really be there. As you say, rude and selfish.

but when it’s someone sneakily videoing the show on their phone or texting or chatting loudly, the FOH staff will ask them (often repeatedly) to stop, and will hover right by their row to dissuade them - but some people just won’t be told.

This is a ridiculous policy - any initial request should come with a deadline and then a consequence - ‘please turn your phone off / stop talking through the performance/film - if this happens one more time you will be told to leave’

Also think that cinemas/theatres should ask up front for considerate behaviour - no phones, no chatting etc and also ask audience to politely remind others to be quiet / turn off phone and if there is an offensive response which is what we all fear - then the usher will tell them to leave.

Zero tolerance is what is needed and blurry boundaries tolerating this ‘lower level’ behaviour is what’s allowed the whole expectations of behaviour to drop.

That's good. It just bad manners to use phone during show.

I asked a man in cinema, to please not use his phone, because the light from it affected our watching the film (he was scrolling and liking and listening to tic toc crap). He huffed and puffed for ages then went to the end of the row and continued (but least not in our eyeline) leaving his child (about 5) sat watching. He couldn't manage a children's film without scrolling.

I agree with the comments and have experienced rudeness myself.

I wonder though is there a call for more of the old fashioned music hall type entertainment where there was a back and forth with the audience/heckling/a sing along/general knees-up? Perhaps people want to participate and there should be (more) formats where this is a thing?

And it might keep the riff-raff out of more serious theatre.

YANBU, OP. Took my DD to a west end musical (not my sort of thing but she likes them) and I was shocked at how people behaved. The big one for me was everyone around us ate ALL the way through both halves. Leaving aside the fact that I think people should be able to manage a couple of hours with snacking, what infuriated me was that these were not quiet things either: bags of crisps, popcorn and sweets in wrappers. The parents were as bad as the kids. And someone behind me allowed her child to talk loudly all the way through too, and didn’t shush him once.

It was disrespectful to the actors, as well as to those who actually want to hear what they are paying a lot of money to hear.

But the staff did nothing, and in the interval I saw that they were selling some of these items. I will do my best never return to a theatre which sells those items and does nothing about patrons making noise.

I do find behaviour at other more traditional theatres better (The National, Old and Young Vic etc) but even there I have seen consideration for others deteriorating. I once had to shush a man who was eating raw crunchy carrots! Honestly, what is wrong with people??

One woman behind me thought it was acceptable to kick her shoes off and plonk her smelly feet by my shoulder!! I gave her the look and she removed them. Yes is was a very hot day and we were up in the gods but how rude!

Edited for typo