Rude people in the theatre

[Katrinawaves]

What goes through people’s heads when they behave poorly in the theatre? We go quite regularly but it’s becoming more and more common to have people chat through the performance or arrive late or leave early.

Last night we went to see Punch at the Apollo which is a really emotionally challenging play which relies heavily on the audience investing in the main characters. There was a woman in the row behind us who had dropped her phone just as the play was starting and was loudly asking everyone around her if they had seen it over the top of the actors performing and moving around and craning in her seat. When she finally found her phone she didn’t bother switching it off, so of course mid way through the first act, it rang loudly and then she couldn’t find it again to silence it quickly so she swore loudly and huffed and puffed until she could! After the interval when she got back to her seat, she again chatted loudly to her companion for the first few minutes of the performance.

it’s so rude and disrespectful both to the performers but also to other theatre goers who have paid £150+ for a seat to watch the play not to listen to somebody’s mundane life dramas!

There was even a spoken announcement at the beginning of the show asking people not to talk or eat noisy food and to switch their phone off so in the unlikely event she didn’t know what normal social etiquette requires she was actually told seconds before she started to act like a toddler.

AIBU to think the theatre staff should ask anyone who makes such a disturbance in the first half of a play to leave at the interval as a deterrent to others and to ensure that they don’t spoil the whole play for others.

I agree that it’s got worse. I don’t hesitate to ask someone to be quiet. I also report any disruptive behaviour to the staff at the next interval. I’ve witnessed talking, phones etc in places which charge a lot such as The Palladium, Royal Albert Hall and Royal Opera House. Staff are usually quite good at dealing with it, but it doesn’t stop passive aggressive behaviour from the perpetrators once challenged. I think they should be able asked to leave.

I went to a very expensive music concert last week. Could not believe how many people had to get up to buy more drinks more than once throughout the event. Very disrupting for those of us who wanted to see the band. I don’t understand why having another drink is so important when you have spent so much money to see a group who don’t tour that often.

This really, there's zero respect for anyone in any kind of customer service position, so when they intervene it leads to more aggravation because the person is now slighted at being requested to behave appropriately in a shared space by someone who is being paid to serve them.
Unfortunately this type of behaviour is the down side to the "Customer is always right" culture, because it's not based on if the person is actually being reasonable, but that they are a customer therefore must be right, no matter the circumstances.

I went to see Roxy Music a couple of years ago and the woman in front of me spent the whole night playing solitaire on her phone. It was really distracting and annoying. I get that maybe she wasn’t a fan and gone with her partner who probably bought two tickets but why bother going at all?

I went to see Abba Voyage with a few friends and there was a group near us who stood in a small circle and chatted and laughed among themselves for the whole performance. They also hopped out to get drinks a few times. It was like they were at the local pub with a random band playing.
They were not disruptive, the performance was loud and immersive (and absolutely brilliant!) and we could easily move away but I did wonder why they were there.

I am lucky enough to have avoided large scale disruption but the small scale stuff is annoying as well. I try to sit as far away from people as I can, so an aisle seat or the front row - it seems to be the middle/back parts of the theatre with the most problems.

Ive had quite a few things happen recently. 1 in the theatre and 1 in the cinema. Other things were as you say annoying low level.
The theatre there was a lady sitting beside me. She kept laughing at everything. It was Hamilton so not that funny. But she was laughing in random places that I kept missing what they were saying. She had no social awareness.

The cinema one was worse. Me and DS watching a film cant remember what it was. Half way through 2 young boys start running up and down the stair right next to us. Talking etc. I then see their mum walk up the stairs and they all change seats and sit at the back behind us. I could hear the boys talking so I peered behind and the boys were on a phone and so was the mum! I shushed them. The mum said "what" and I said shush. At the end of the film she came up to me and said " don't you dare tell my children to shush" I told her i could hear them talking and it was very distracting. She said well one of them is 5! I said to her well don't bring them to the cinema then. She then proceeded to start swearing at me and saying ill bring them if I want to. She walked down the stairs still swearing loudly in a cinema full of other children!!!
So she thought we all had to endure them and their behaviour because one of her children were 5!

The complete ignorance of people in public places now is so awful.

I’m just surprised that people are prepared to pay such high prices for tickets and then talk or eat or drink all the way through it (plus then the inevitable getting up for toilet breaks). I went to a rock concert a few years ago - more than £100 per ticket and the main act was only on for 2 hours. Loads of people got up (and therefore got the rest of the row up) to get more drinks! When there was a break after the warm up act - surely that’s the time to leave the auditorium!

My son works in a theatre and some of the stuff he sees is quite frankly astonishing. Not sure what the answer is other than zero tolerance but venues are always worried about people kicking off.

In days of yore at Liverpool Playhouse if anyone arrived late or moved from their seat during a performance they had to stand at the back and wait until the interval. Food and drink were restricted to the bar/ restaurant areas.
Nowadays theatre companies encourage consumption in the auditorium to swell profits. It’s such a shame as it’s needless and can detract from the enjoyment of others.
As for phones, don’t get me started!
Anything involving music or singing I now actively avoid as I want to hear the artist/s, not the drunken wannabes.

Oh yep had another at a music gig. The singer was doing a slower song and this girl was shouting loudly into her mates boyfriends ear right next to me. So loud o couldn't hear the singer that well. In the end I said to her im trying to listen but all I can hear is you. She then became passive aggressive and was saying things about me but not to me. She did stop eventually

My adult DD and I regularly go to music gigs and less frequently to the theatre and cinema. At music gigs and the cinema she always has her phone out. During music gigs she will be filming the performance. She will also be texting and generally browsing.
I find it distracting and embarrassing as it glows brightly and she is sitting next to me. I have asked her not to do this on many occasions but she is addicted to her phone so carries on.
On one occasion around two months ago, at a small intimate music gig the artist actually told her off and asked her to put it away.
I was so pleased. She has never mentioned it, but I am so glad it happened as she doesn't do it any more.

I find being a teacher and having ‘the teacher voice’ very useful in these circumstances.

I hate having to use it, but I almost always do. People are twats.

People think they are in their sitting room and can talk as normal.

I shushed a woman in the cinema who was giving a running commentary to her husband and she was very miffed but did shut up.

Recently the person beside us was sipping from a bottle of fizzy drink. So unscrew it open - drink makes fizz sounds - drink - screw closed. Then literally two minutes later do the same again. And repeat until I think the usher told them to stop.

About 30 years ago I saw Othello. Someone right at the front was coughing almost continuously. The actor playing the leading part eventually walked to the front of the stage and shouted "STOP COUGHING!!!" to huge cheers from the audience.

Last week the man behind me at the cinema was eating hot chicken from a tupperware box. I could hear the bones being rattled about over the film.

I hate that people are now allowed to bring drinks into the auditorium. I suppose it's to encourage people to attend, but it's disastrous. If people are that thirsty, go to the bloody pub!

I’ve given up on the cinema now for all the reasons listed. People really do treat it like an extension of their living room. Even during the day when you’d
expect it to be quiet during Spencer (I was hating the film anyway) two women were just chatting away with abundance.

I haven’t been to the theatre in years but I’m told it’s just as bad so avoid it. Hell is other people.

Unfortunately, some people have no idea how to behave in the theatre. No respect for the performers or other audience members. I used to go regularly, but the behaviour has become so bad it’s just not worth the money any more. Last time I went to see Swan Lake, the woman in front of me ate sweets throughout the entire performance, rustling bloody wrappers and chatting to the person next to he. It’s not the bloody cinema!

I hate it when people rustle packets all the way through. Can’t you sit for 75 mins without eating? If you need the food for medical reasons, then prepare it so you don’t have packet rustling. I complained to the theatre because it went on the whole time. They told me I should have told the staff. This would have meant asking people to move which is just as annoying.
I’ve had people come in late before (drunk) and then sit and talk!
I know staff can’t police everyone, but I’ve seen them pounce the minute someone has a phone out, so why can’t they listen for bad behaviour?

I go to the theatre a lot and generally people are will behaved. The worst behaviour is always in things that have either been on TV or one of the actors is vaguely famous. It’s seems to attract people who have no idea how to behave. At the other end of the scale I go to a lot of highbrow music things now because DD is a professional musician. If anyone dares to clap between movements you will be taken out and shot. Worst disturbance in those sort of events are people following the score and using a clip on book light.

I know there have been issues at the Palace Thatre in Manchester where videos of bad behaviour have gone viral. I wasn’t entirely sure why but now I think I know, alcohol. They now have a system where you can have drinks delivered to your seat, both before the performance and at the interval, which initially I thought was lovely (and it is if you’re not a twat). When we arrived there were awful lot of people with bottles of wine and then at tge interval more bottles of wine generally to tge same people. Thankfully there was only one minor incident (inappropriate shouting) but also there were a large number of people having to get up to use the loo mid performance. I have an overactive bladder so am very careful with my liquid intake at all times but if you’re not able to last a performance without having a loo break during the performance then don’t drink!

I had this at a bill oddie talk 😂 i tapped them on the shoulder and said 'i paid to hear bill not you two' honestly they were outraged lol but did stop talking.

We go to the theatre 20+ times a year and have done for years, and the shift since Covid is shocking. We have completely given up going to any West End/Hippodrome type show because the behaviour is like zoo animals.

Many theatres are still broadly okay (Almeida for example stands out - we’ve never had an audience problem there), but if we want to see a musical we go to Chichester or the Open Air theatre or another theatre that’s a little less high profile. And I’d never see a play on the west end, it’s just too much of a gamble these days.

I don’t really understand it other than behaviour in general has declined. But it’s damned annoying.

I absolutely dread having a chatter near me. When the house lights go down, I want to feel completely immersed, and having someone making what they consider to be sage and witty asides to their buddy makes me so on edge I nearly lose it. This last happened at Shakespeare, so nowhere is safe!
Add to that the snap-fizz of opening a can of drink, the buzz of a phone notification and just general bloody fidgeting and my nerves are jangling like crazy.
In the cinema recently I was in front of a couple who seemed to think that any time there was no dialogue was a designated chat break. No amount of stern glares made any difference.

Recently we went to see the Villagers play in Halifax Minster which was the most amazing quiet beautiful gig and there were a group of women behind me talking loudly throughout the support. I kept turning around and looking at them but they didn't take any notice so I thought well I'll give you the support if you dare to talk through the Villagers I will say something. Anyway for the first half they were quiet then I think they got bored and started talking loudly again so I just turned around to them and asked them to be quiet which they did actually to be fair to them but I could feel bristling. I was a bit worried about confrontation afterwards tbh. At the end of the gig I got up and one of them came over to me and apologized and said she realized I was right she was wrong and it was really annoying for people to talk through something so lovely. We had a nice chat and parted as new friends.

People’s behaviour has changed and everyone seems totally selfish now. Think it’s happened particularly since social media and phones became commonplace. Not sure why? I have come away from several concerts recently feeling what was the point due to some idiot holding up their phone, blocking my view, so they can instagram/FB it. Or people in cinemas, theatres scrolling/texting on their phones during the show, distracting all with the glare of their screens. Maybe because many people have more of a relationship with their phone than people these days, it’s making people socially handicapped and self centred. Think we now live in an age of entitlement too where people expect to be accommodated by everyone.

I'm with you, and it's not just theatre either. Since 2007 I have been going to watch an annual sporting event that requires spectators to be silent. Back then if your phone went off you would be thrown out, now you just get a dirty look and told to turn it off. When I first started the audience were silent unless there was some kind of medical emergency. Now I have to deal with people behind me commentating throughout. At the prices we now have to pay it is totally unacceptable.