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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Rude people in the theatre

283 replies

Katrinawaves · 02/11/2025 08:34

What goes through people’s heads when they behave poorly in the theatre? We go quite regularly but it’s becoming more and more common to have people chat through the performance or arrive late or leave early.

Last night we went to see Punch at the Apollo which is a really emotionally challenging play which relies heavily on the audience investing in the main characters. There was a woman in the row behind us who had dropped her phone just as the play was starting and was loudly asking everyone around her if they had seen it over the top of the actors performing and moving around and craning in her seat. When she finally found her phone she didn’t bother switching it off, so of course mid way through the first act, it rang loudly and then she couldn’t find it again to silence it quickly so she swore loudly and huffed and puffed until she could! After the interval when she got back to her seat, she again chatted loudly to her companion for the first few minutes of the performance.

it’s so rude and disrespectful both to the performers but also to other theatre goers who have paid £150+ for a seat to watch the play not to listen to somebody’s mundane life dramas!

There was even a spoken announcement at the beginning of the show asking people not to talk or eat noisy food and to switch their phone off so in the unlikely event she didn’t know what normal social etiquette requires she was actually told seconds before she started to act like a toddler.

AIBU to think the theatre staff should ask anyone who makes such a disturbance in the first half of a play to leave at the interval as a deterrent to others and to ensure that they don’t spoil the whole play for others.

OP posts:
SusiQ18472638 · 04/11/2025 12:48

CuriousKangaroo · 04/11/2025 10:59

YANBU, OP. Took my DD to a west end musical (not my sort of thing but she likes them) and I was shocked at how people behaved. The big one for me was everyone around us ate ALL the way through both halves. Leaving aside the fact that I think people should be able to manage a couple of hours with snacking, what infuriated me was that these were not quiet things either: bags of crisps, popcorn and sweets in wrappers. The parents were as bad as the kids. And someone behind me allowed her child to talk loudly all the way through too, and didn’t shush him once.

It was disrespectful to the actors, as well as to those who actually want to hear what they are paying a lot of money to hear.

But the staff did nothing, and in the interval I saw that they were selling some of these items. I will do my best never return to a theatre which sells those items and does nothing about patrons making noise.

I do find behaviour at other more traditional theatres better (The National, Old and Young Vic etc) but even there I have seen consideration for others deteriorating. I once had to shush a man who was eating raw crunchy carrots! Honestly, what is wrong with people??

The food thing happens all the time exactly like you’ve described! I saw Six the musical which is 80 minutes long with no interval, it was mid afternoon and people couldn’t go that long without stuffing their faces all the way through and making so much noise, passing food along the line to each other etc. Just have lunch before you go in!! 🤯

Calliopespa · 04/11/2025 14:38

spoonbillstretford · 04/11/2025 10:51

I agree with the comments and have experienced rudeness myself.

I wonder though is there a call for more of the old fashioned music hall type entertainment where there was a back and forth with the audience/heckling/a sing along/general knees-up? Perhaps people want to participate and there should be (more) formats where this is a thing?

And it might keep the riff-raff out of more serious theatre.

There's always the panto!

I can't bear it ...

I've suffered through a couple because I took the dc and I do remember thinking it was fun as a child. But now I grin and bear it 😬

Tuesdayschild50 · 04/11/2025 16:49

I'd of told her myself to shut up or leave.

Katrinawaves · 04/11/2025 16:56

We did turn around catch her eye and glare at her but given that she was already making a racket, we didn’t want to create an even bigger scene by actually telling her to shut up as that would have disturbed even more of the audience. She definitely seemed the type to kick off!

OP posts:
Pedallleur · 04/11/2025 18:30

My neighbour works at a large arena on event stewarding and fan services and has some funny/shocking tales of audience behaviour and entitlement. And it's often older audiences eg 50 upwards who are the worst. Gaga was on recently and he said it was a fantastic night with everyone ready to party and enjoy themselves. Mary Blige was a feral audience with drug/drink behaviour, vomiting and a man grabbing breasts (he was ejected). I'm told rock audiences are the staff favourites as everyone comes to watch the band. Apparently Slipknot fans make their own masks and asked politely if it was ok to bring it in and wear it. Andre Rieu was irritated by audience members constantly getting up, going in and out. Sports events eg boxing are chaos with fights breaking out, cocaine everywhere in the toilets, doors smashed and attendees ejected.

Pedallleur · 04/11/2025 18:33

SusiQ18472638 · 04/11/2025 12:48

The food thing happens all the time exactly like you’ve described! I saw Six the musical which is 80 minutes long with no interval, it was mid afternoon and people couldn’t go that long without stuffing their faces all the way through and making so much noise, passing food along the line to each other etc. Just have lunch before you go in!! 🤯

You would think so but people buying 10 pound pints and 20 pound pizzas then complaining about the cost. They could have gone somewhere before the show.

EmpressaurusKitty · 04/11/2025 19:00

Andre Rieu was irritated by audience members constantly getting up, going in and out.

Did he stop the music & say something? That’s about the only thing I can imagine having an effect - threatening to do that each time someone came in or out.

Pedallleur · 04/11/2025 19:09

EmpressaurusKitty · 04/11/2025 19:00

Andre Rieu was irritated by audience members constantly getting up, going in and out.

Did he stop the music & say something? That’s about the only thing I can imagine having an effect - threatening to do that each time someone came in or out.

Apparently he starts a song so the doors are closed. Song ends, doors are opened and people go in/out. But I was told it was lots of people and he eventually did comment that was this something peculiar to the city?

ThisQuirkyAmberMember · 04/11/2025 19:33

We had this when we went to see Six at the Vaudeville! The woman in front of us continually got her phone out during the performance & was booking 4 separate dates (for the same show - Six!) Staff spotted her the first time & flashed a small torch at her & she turned her phone off - after telling them she wasn’t using it to film the show!!! It’s unbelievable!!!

bendmeoverbackwards · 05/11/2025 00:26

Itiswhysofew · 03/11/2025 17:21

YANBU

Anyone near me being noisy gets told to be quiet.

Agree, same here. We are regular theatre goers, my dc are now young adults but they always behaved well when they were younger. Talkers, noisy eaters etc now annoy them and my middle dd in particular has been known to (politely) ask people to stop talking.

This is my solution - anyone behaving badly gets their seat noted, traced to who booked the ticket and that person is then black listed from ticket sites. Ok, not completely fool proof but definitely a deterrent.

LightDrizzle · 05/11/2025 01:39

Last year, during Madame Butterfly at the ROH, a young man and his companion were audibly playing other opera excerpts on his phone. It was unbelievable. It caused a huge stir and went on for ages.

Calliopespa · 05/11/2025 09:50

LightDrizzle · 05/11/2025 01:39

Last year, during Madame Butterfly at the ROH, a young man and his companion were audibly playing other opera excerpts on his phone. It was unbelievable. It caused a huge stir and went on for ages.

😱That actually takes the biscuit.

PeachShaker · 05/11/2025 09:51

I’ve been to Shakespeare, with at least one famous TV person (David Tennant). There we no significant disturbances. I was at a musical last week though and that was a bit different

Arran2024 · 05/11/2025 10:34

Not theatre, but my experience at concerts is that if I go to see an 80s or 70s act, most of the audience are like me, in their 60s or older. And the men are great. Utterly focused on the music. Many of the women are the same but there are always some women just chatting away. And they get really cross if you ask them to stop.

smilingontheinside · 05/11/2025 12:09

tedlassoforprimeminister · 02/11/2025 09:50

I went to a very expensive music concert last week. Could not believe how many people had to get up to buy more drinks more than once throughout the event. Very disrupting for those of us who wanted to see the band. I don’t understand why having another drink is so important when you have spent so much money to see a group who don’t tour that often.

Same for us. Went to a concert earlier in the year to see a band I've loved gor years. The amount of folks going to get more beer etc throughout, then needing the toilet drove me nuts. Eventually I just said to the main culprit, "this is the last time im standing to let you past. Ive paid to watch this band not you coming back abd forth. Now sit in your seat and stay there!!" My husband nearly choked but the chap didnt move again. Im past putting up with crap if they dont listen to me then I will get someone from the venue to talk to or remove them. Personally I think alcohol should only be served in the interval and no food/drink taken into the venue. Tickets are expensive and it's a treat so you shouldn't have to deal with all the crap 🙃

TheatreMom · 05/11/2025 14:49

MonGrainDeSel · 03/11/2025 19:59

When I took my 10 year old to see Wicked, there was a woman in the row behind me who was constantly loudly narrating the show to her own child (probably about five and obviously did not understand what was happening), rustling sweets and using her phone - she had probably disturbed everyone around her twenty times in the first ten minutes of the show. I asked her politely to be quieter several times. The front of house staff took matters into their own hands before I had to speak to them and they came and told her that she would need to leave if she couldn't guarantee to remain quiet. No further problems. I thanked them at the interval. That's what should happen. FOH should be looking out for problems and solving them before they turn into something bigger. That's literally part of their job.

And in many cases it isn't a job. These people are volunteers.

TheatreMom · 05/11/2025 14:51

Arran2024 · 03/11/2025 22:02

Several years ago we went to see Bryan Ferry at the Albert Hall. We had literally just sat down when we got a message to say our daughter had been rushed to hospital with a suspected stroke - we had to get up and leave and race to the hospital. I wouldn't be able to go to a concert without access to my phone. Can you still access the phone in an emergency with the pouches?

The pouches have a clear plastic front so you can see your phone's screen. In a case like yours you would have been able to see the message pop up, leave the auditorium and immediately get the pouch unlocked by a member of staff.

Rpop · 05/11/2025 21:20

Isawhimstandingthere · 02/11/2025 09:14

I’m so with you on this I love musical theatre and in recent years all shows have a message at the beginning reminding people not to sing along as it’s distracting for the performers and audience yet I always seem to be sat in front of the person who has had to much to drink loudly singing along with every number it’s infuriating.

So many people seem to be so unaware of the impact of their behaviour on others. Infuriating. More people seem to be selfish nowadays (if driving is anything to go by).

Pedallleur · 06/11/2025 10:13

LightDrizzle · 05/11/2025 01:39

Last year, during Madame Butterfly at the ROH, a young man and his companion were audibly playing other opera excerpts on his phone. It was unbelievable. It caused a huge stir and went on for ages.

read an interview with Eric Clapton a few years back who mentioned that during one his shows at RAH someone in the stalls was getting a bj

Hysterectomynext · 06/11/2025 18:10

LightDrizzle · 05/11/2025 01:39

Last year, during Madame Butterfly at the ROH, a young man and his companion were audibly playing other opera excerpts on his phone. It was unbelievable. It caused a huge stir and went on for ages.

I saw that production and I’m so glad that didn’t happen at the performance I attended!

Calliopespa · 06/11/2025 18:13

Hysterectomynext · 06/11/2025 18:10

I saw that production and I’m so glad that didn’t happen at the performance I attended!

is that the puppet one?

IdentifyingAsAWoollyMammoth · 06/11/2025 18:22

I work in the theatre and it has got worse, particularly noticeable post-pandemic. They feel they can behave outside as they would watching something at home.

There's also been an increase in drunken behaviour but sadly most theatres won't do anything about that as they want the bar takings.

SixtyPlus · 07/11/2025 18:52

ParmaVioletTea · 03/11/2025 19:55

I sat next to a couple who were talking/ filming etc a few months back.

You see, if someone sitting next to me is talking, then I tell them to be quiet straightaway. I am firm about it, and I'm probably not very polite. But then I'm not the one being impolite in the first place.

I've been going to the theatre since I was about 7; it's actually part of my job, and I won't put up with such rudeness.

Yes, well this couple were quite extreme. I did ask her to switch off her phone just as you describe. She looked at me like I was crazy/ disgusting and just carried on with what she was doing.
After the interval she swapped seat with her partner so she didn’t have to sit next to me. They both carried on filming.
They had no conscience/ manners whatsoever, just felt I was an obnoxious individual, interfering with their fun.
it was actually quite scary.

Arran2024 · 07/11/2025 19:10

At a Bryan Ferry concert at the Hanmersmith Odeon (or whatever it was called at the time), a man in his 60s and a much younger companion in a very sexy outfit sat in front of us and proceeded to get intensely stuck into each other all through the concert, til they suddenly got up and left. I doubt they saw a second of the show!

Bertiebiscuit · 05/03/2026 10:41

The most annoying are people who text and take photos with their phones, in the dark all those screens are so disruptive, even on silent. Nobody seems to be able to actually switch off their phones these days, pathetic

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