Rude people in the theatre

[Katrinawaves]

What goes through people’s heads when they behave poorly in the theatre? We go quite regularly but it’s becoming more and more common to have people chat through the performance or arrive late or leave early.

Last night we went to see Punch at the Apollo which is a really emotionally challenging play which relies heavily on the audience investing in the main characters. There was a woman in the row behind us who had dropped her phone just as the play was starting and was loudly asking everyone around her if they had seen it over the top of the actors performing and moving around and craning in her seat. When she finally found her phone she didn’t bother switching it off, so of course mid way through the first act, it rang loudly and then she couldn’t find it again to silence it quickly so she swore loudly and huffed and puffed until she could! After the interval when she got back to her seat, she again chatted loudly to her companion for the first few minutes of the performance.

it’s so rude and disrespectful both to the performers but also to other theatre goers who have paid £150+ for a seat to watch the play not to listen to somebody’s mundane life dramas!

There was even a spoken announcement at the beginning of the show asking people not to talk or eat noisy food and to switch their phone off so in the unlikely event she didn’t know what normal social etiquette requires she was actually told seconds before she started to act like a toddler.

AIBU to think the theatre staff should ask anyone who makes such a disturbance in the first half of a play to leave at the interval as a deterrent to others and to ensure that they don’t spoil the whole play for others.

It's a huge no no everywhere. I don't want to be standing (or seated) behind a sea of phones in the air at a concert. I've seen people videoing and even live streaming. Nobody wants to sit through a shit shaky video their mate took at a concert and it must be vanishingly rare that anyone actually sits and watches back a gig they recorded themselves. The whole thing is irritating and disrespectful.

On a positive note, I recently went to see The Importance of Being Earnest - several big hitting slebs in the cast and (apart form someone in my row being irritatingly late which meant I had to move back to my seat behind The Man With The Big Head) audience behaviour was immaculate . Everyone lapped it up. It helped that the production was vibrant and that Stephen Fry had us eating out of his hand.

No poor behaviour at Cabaret either.

I think the plays at most risk are the big family shows , the plays that have a celebrity in but are rather dull, and matinees of school set texts.

I would have phones put in pouches. This was done at some low key Bryan Adams gigs recently. He didn't want the experience blighted by screens. There were only 400 of us but it can be done. Failure to comply meant no admittance and if seen using the device you would be removed

Yes uncouth

Hell really is other people.
At the Royal Opera House a couple of years ago I was seated next to a woman who took her shoes off and with a small square of tissue wiped between her toes slowly and meticulously as she watched the opera. Then she would stop, only to start the process again a few minutes later. I was close to vomiting. My squirming / staring etc failed to deter her.
I actually emailed the ROH asking them to never sell this woman a ticket again.

People treat it as extension of a night in where they can eat/drink/talk all they want

People are arseholes to be blunt! Obviously not everyone but in general it’s all me me me these days and it baffles me because I was brought up to be SO aware of how my behaviour and actions affects other people. I saw my fav band in a big stadium concert this summer, yes I appreciate that in a venue that big you get lots of noise, but during a slow, meaningful song two 50 something guys in front of me loudly chatted about this and that throughout the whole song, not watching the band at all. They were there with wives/girlfriends and I think they just saw it as an opportunity for a good catch up, but their constant loud chat during particularly slow/quieter songs ruined it for me!

It's everywhere not just the theatre.

Punch is a fantastic play!

I’ve noticed recently more and more instances of young children being taken to shows that I wouldn’t consider child-friendly. I have a really high tolerance for noise and disruption at family shows, but I can think of several plays recently, including one last week, where an adult near me has spent most of the play trying to engage a bored/restless child with the show. Lots of “ohh let’s see what happens next”, “I wonder what the man is doing, let’s watch” with either a disinterested child or a child constantly asking questions or saying they want to leave. Honestly it’s like they are in front of the TV. If you have to give a running commentary your child is too young for the show, and I say that as someone who’s had to sit in the foyer when I’ve got it wrong in the past with DS.

I recently went to a show. Woman next to me re-did her make up and applied body cream mid way through. This involved rummaging in bag, rubbing, squirting , powdering, lipstick, opening and closing for about 10-15 minutes

I had pretty much the same experience at a matinee there recently. It’s absurd. By all means, have a family friendly/relaxed performance (it’s great that places do this). But allowing general disruption is crazy and will put their regular audiences off going, especially given the cost of the outing these days.

Agree. It is very annoying. I think that people should have to book by card, and if they are behaving badly and not stopping when asked, should be barred from attending future performances. If theatres had something in place to the pubs' 'barred from one barred from all' that would stop them transferring their bad behaviour to other theatres. Probably unworkable but something has to be done to prevent a descent into total chaos.

We went to see The Importance of Being Earnest at the Rose Theatre in Kingston a few years ago. After the interval, just as it was starting, the woman across the aisle from us answered her phone and started a loud conversation with whoever was calling her. Couldn't believe it.

At least theatre shows are pretty well behaved compared to concerts. I've pretty much stopped going to those as people just chat loudly to their friends during the songs they don't like. And at a Marc Almond gig in Brighton last year there was a proper punch up a few rows behind us - police involved. Crazy.

I am a volunteer at the Globe theatre in London and we receive a lot of training

It used to be 8 at Stratford when DDs were young even for productions aimed at youngsters like the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe and Beauty and the Beast. Excellent productions when we finally got to see them (2002)

Edited to add behaviour of all children was perfect

yip totally ruin a trip for me and my daughter. Went to see Frozen as a birthday treat travelled all the way down from Scotland to London, and there was a group of women with very young kids, The women all sat together an talked all through the first half after arriving late, then left the kids to there own devices. Kicked our seats, talked loudly and rustled their food all the way through the first half. At half time i called an usher over and they had a word..

Tasers! (Lighthearted obvs)

Theatre etiquette is dreadful these days

would behaviour and etiquette advice along with ticket delivery help.

Brilliant idea I think some people do need a reminder

I used to pay for the £5 restricted view seats back in the day at the Royal Opera/Ballet.

Mostly very well behaved audience but i do remember a man who tapped along to all the music in Swan Lake on the railing. It seemed like a showing off thing, to show he knew the music. Very irritating!

It’s awful, but I think it’s sign of the deterioration in behaviour across society in general. So many people don’t seem to care at all how their behaviour impacts others. Manners in general seem to be disappearing, people don’t seem to want to accept they have responsibilities to go with all those rights! Respect for others doesn’t matter so much now to many. Some people can’t even be bothered to get dressed to drop their kids at school or go to the shops. No pride or self respect.

It’s awful to experience and watch happening.

I very rarely go to the theatre as I cant justify the price for a family of 5.
I recently took my eldest to see The book of Mormon as a birthday treat and was really peeved at the adults behaviour.
Those that dont understand where the ushers signpost them and insist on walking through an entire row of seated people. Those that turned up half cut to a maninee performance, those still standing in the isle in groups as the show was starting and those who dont want to sit in thier row (all 8 of them) so sat in the isle of the stalls.
This is not even starting on all of the middle aged women who were obviously huge fans and couldnt fucking sit still, clapping, singing and bouncing all the was through the entire performance. Yes woman next to me I am looking at you and next time please feel free to choke on your noisy gigantic bag of pretzels.

Have posted this before, but we went to see a modern dance piece which was focused heavily on light and darkness, so the lightshow was a fairly major part of it. There was a woman a couple of seats along from me playing on her phone and the screen light was genuinely really distracting.

The guy in the row behind her reached over, grabbed it off her and lobbed it into the aisle🤣🤣🤣

I would never have dared do it myself but I did think it was a fairly brilliant solution.

We used to benefit from what was then called Mousetrap - a charity to bring live theatre to disadvantaged groups (it still exists but under a different name). My daughter qualified due to her disability, but we were used to theatre-going, but they were used to dealing with families who weren't, and they sent out a booklet to explain what to expect, and what to do behaviour wise during the shows.

This was maybe 10 to 15 years ago. Everyone behaved impeccably, though I was a bit surprised when the family in front of us brought in McDonald's at the interval at Wicked!

@Katrinawaves was also at the Apollo watching Punch. Friday night. Lady in front constantly on her phone, kept it on her lap throughout, first half. Light coming off it was really distracting. During the interval I asked her if she could put it away. She did, with a fair amount of eye rolling.