Rude people in the theatre

[Katrinawaves]

What goes through people’s heads when they behave poorly in the theatre? We go quite regularly but it’s becoming more and more common to have people chat through the performance or arrive late or leave early.

Last night we went to see Punch at the Apollo which is a really emotionally challenging play which relies heavily on the audience investing in the main characters. There was a woman in the row behind us who had dropped her phone just as the play was starting and was loudly asking everyone around her if they had seen it over the top of the actors performing and moving around and craning in her seat. When she finally found her phone she didn’t bother switching it off, so of course mid way through the first act, it rang loudly and then she couldn’t find it again to silence it quickly so she swore loudly and huffed and puffed until she could! After the interval when she got back to her seat, she again chatted loudly to her companion for the first few minutes of the performance.

it’s so rude and disrespectful both to the performers but also to other theatre goers who have paid £150+ for a seat to watch the play not to listen to somebody’s mundane life dramas!

There was even a spoken announcement at the beginning of the show asking people not to talk or eat noisy food and to switch their phone off so in the unlikely event she didn’t know what normal social etiquette requires she was actually told seconds before she started to act like a toddler.

AIBU to think the theatre staff should ask anyone who makes such a disturbance in the first half of a play to leave at the interval as a deterrent to others and to ensure that they don’t spoil the whole play for others.

Went with DD17 recently to see the Importance of Being Ernest. Was really good but was totally spoilt by the other theatre goers.

One man sat half way into dd’s seat all through the first half, then during the break had a go at her for standing in the queue for the women’s loo (he had acres of room to get past, and lucky him he didn’t have to queue for the loo!)

We asked to move and then in the second half she sat next to a man who was loudly guffawing all the way through - not just normal laughter, really attention seeking, dominating behaviour.

Never had anything else like it but it really spoiled the experience.

The only other thing we’ve had is people who think it’s ok to knock the back of your seat, or allow their children to do so.

One woman had a massive got at me for asking her (I spoke to her not her child) not to allow this, and said I’d ruined her child’s day by mentioning it. It was definitely her child doing it, I turned and saw it.

Not sure it's everyones cup of tea. Before COVID we saw chubby brown and the two people in front of us were shouting out during his 'jokes' people were shushing them which was ignored.
The next time chubby stopped his show and bouncers removed them from the theatre.
Chubby then made an announcement that he didn't mind audience participation but everyone had paid a lot of money for the tickets and deserved to be able to hear the show.

I worked in one of the UK's largest seated theatre that had lots of musicals on their programme. Coming from a different country, I was absolutely shocked to see people eating, chatting, singing, dancing, screaming, filming and so on during the performance. The place looked like a mess after the show.
You can come at me, but I've never seen such behaviour back at home.
It's so disrespectful towards fellow theatre goers, performers and staff.

I enjoy singing along. It is part of the experiece

No it bloody isn’t unless you’ve gone to a singalong production.

99% of people will have gone along to see and hear professional performers, not some entitled off-key karaoke muppet.

Crickey, so aggresive 🙉

Only way of getting through to some people.

Shut up or stay at home.

People behind us got thrown out of Priscilla queen of the desert last Saturday in Manchester for noise rather than phones . The usher was tremendous, came to see them in the interval to say they’d had loads of complaints if it carried on then the manager would stop the show and eject them. The interval continued and they were unable to keep quiet (combination of booze and being a bit thick I think) so they were removed.

one of them obviously thought it was me who’d complained and suggested to her friends that they would “get us” later , the us being three adults and three teenagers I turned round as I was incredulous and she took umbrage at the fact that I wasn’t being joyful enough during the performance and started having a go. My clapping was sub par apparently. I really had to steel myself to rise above it and not find the usher. But in any event they all got kicked out about five minutes later.

Your experience which trumps everyone else’s I assume. Unless it’s billed as a sing a long then please don’t.

One of our local venues is notorious for people chatting through band performances, it really puts me off going. The local theatre charmingly escorted out 2 very pissed middle aged women at a recent play, they were chatting in a slightly drunk way like they were in the pub. It was well handled.

I must admit to falling asleep in Stranger Things a couple of weeks ago and may have snored, it was so dull…..

Or recently, a bloke in front of me at a gig who started face-timing his mate during the performance. I had one eye on the band and one eye on a guy sitting on his sofa in a dressing gown eating chips.

No, it really isn't, you spoil it for everyone around you, and the performers don't like it either.

I agree with everything mentioned on this thread, but can I add loud jangly bracelets and massive hairstyles too??

I am a woman with a huge mop of curly hair. When I go to the theatre/cinema, I tie it back/down because otherwise people behind me won't see past it. I have had many a production ruined by a massive mop or updo, having to move my head from side to side to see, which probs has the knock-on effect of annoying the people behind.

I was at Frozen a few years ago, a woman a few seats along from me had a huge topknot on top of her head, during the interval, a Nan with her GC asked if she could take it down as her little GC (beautifully dressed up as Anna) couldn't see, this woman threw her a filthy look and said no. I swapped with Nan and her GC in the end.

Also, Wicked post the films is an utter shitshow, I took my DIL and had a teenager with a witches hat on a headband in front of me. Seriously.

I go to the theatre a lot and could wang on and on about people's bad behaviour. Please don't sing/talk/go on your phone or jangle your jewellery, it is RUDE.

"I do find it's better at shakespeare, maybe because no one goes who doesn't want to?!"
You would think so but friends who used to do an annual London trip including the Globe, said the last two times they went the experience was spoilt by "influencers" doing the "selfie @theglobe"shenanigans. All pouty faces and peace signs and talking breathlessly to their hordes of fans. Then they got bored when the actual play started and were texting and more selfies. Friends are English teachers and one is dead scary so she gave them death stare and a finger to lips shhhhhhh! Then they were told off by staff and fucked off.

Singing along is not part of the experience, as others have said, unless it’s a sing along performance. That’s why they have them, because you’re not otherwise allowed to.

Just because no one has thrown you out, doesn’t mean it’s ok.

These are all flabbergasting - imagine refusing to take your hair down if you were too self absorbed to have thought of it yourself!

I haven’t been to Wicked since the films. Went with DC1 in 2017, and then DC2 once he was old enough in 2022. Even by 2022 the audience had changed - just more young kids as opposed to the original more adult audience. Wasn’t a problem but just noted it.

This has to be joke post. No-one I know would go to theatre and think it’s appropriate to sing along unless it’s a sing a long showing.

It's everywhere.

I run a community theatre with a resident youth company.

Our youth shows are alcohol free but at one production I had an adult audience member actually harassing one of the 13 year old cast (interactive show) because he couldn't have a drink. He's now banned.

The rest of the time, the ringing phones, people talking, taking video and pictures, people late - it's all so normal we just roll our eyes now.

Trouble is, we're known for shows which use a lot of physical theatre and for shows with stage combat - 3 Musketeers, Peter Pan etc - and we're a small space. It means some of the 'rude' behaviour becomes actively dangerous. The swords might be 'stage' swords, but they're still steel; the actress might have rehearsed a hundred times and have 'escape' protocols, but she's still a fifteen year old stepping blind off a ten foot platform in the dark. If that glaring phone screen, that camera flash, your kid sat in the aisle, your kid crawling up on the stage (Yes, that happened - mum and grandma did nothing to stop it, twice in one show!!!!) it creates a real risk of harm.

We warn people before they buy the tickets, on the tickets, at the door, with signs and an announcement - still happens in every show. It's a rare performance we get nothing happening these days and it's starting to affect our show selection as I'm worried about performers getting hurt.

We're in the run up to our next Youth show now - 75 minutes closed performance staged in the round. The only things I am absolutely sure of are:

Someone will arrive late and kick off when we can't seat them.
Someone's phone will ring.
Someone will take flash photos mid show - even odds on me having to tackle someone videoing.
Despite the 'safety tape' around the seating, someone will put their giant bag/let their kid sit IN the performance space (and then create when they nearly get clobbered in the head)
At least one adult will get up and walk across the stage mid scene to go to the loo/answer their phone/whatever.

I've given up going to most professional theatre - it leaves me far too murderous.

I think I would have said her and her child were ruining my day by being so inconsiderate

have people no shame

You are extremely self-absorbed and rude if you think your experience is more important than the rest of the audience’s, who have paid to watch and listen to professionals perform. Go to a sing along performance if that is what you want to do. Or do karaoke. No one in a normal show wants to hear your undoubtedly terrible rendition.

I went to a show and they asked the audience not to sing

Makes sense

Good. But I think it’s extraordinary that they have to tell people not to do something that most would recognise as basic courtesy.

I went to a show once where there was a group of women down at the front, a couple of rows ahead of us, who got up and danced and sang - basically screamed - throughout the first half. They were dancing jiglike dances wuth each other - it wasn't just swaying to the music. We, and several others, complained and got moved and the theatre positioned a member of staff right next to them to make sure they behaved. But they kept it up all during the second half and still the theatre did nothing. It was an intimidating group tbh and I felt that the theatre didn't want to upset this group more than the rest of us.

I always have to contend with the fact my children hate it if I say anything to anyone, so unfortunately had to bite my tongue a bit. I think I just said to her that I’d asked nicely and addressed myself to her not her child for a reason!

Maybe they should introduce sections of theatres, cinemas, aeroplanes etc where feet and legs do not go anywhere near the back of the chair in front, as it’s so irritating, but people seem to think they’ve got a right to do it. Including adults!

We saw a fantastic performance of THe Sound of Music at Christmas. Two ladies near us sang all the songs badly and loudly. I wanted to hear the actresses voices!
My other theatre gripe is how rude people are when moving along the rows. We stood up to let people pass and very few say thanks or acknowledge in any way.