Page 8 | Parent messaged me to complain about DH

Yogaretreat23 · 2025-10-31T14:38:57+00:00

This is a strange one. DS had his friend round on Tuesday, they were mainly just playing video games upstairs. They came downstairs and DS started to moan that the Wi-Fi was down. DH said he’d need to ‘go for the old school approach and grab a top shelf magazine from the corner shop’ and DS just laughed it off. The next day, his friends mum has messaged me to say she doesn’t appreciate DH making inappropriate comments in front of her son. I’ve ignored it…but am now overthinking whether I should have replied to clarify nothing was said to her son? Edited to add both 17yo

Hereforthecommentz · 31/10/2025 15:48

TwoTuesday · 31/10/2025 14:45

Good grief what a little Lord Fauntleroy the friend is, tattling to his mummy at 17.

Exactly my thoughts! What a weird family.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 31/10/2025 15:48

Surprised at these comments. It's not appropriate to make sexual comments like that infront of friends. It might have made the boy feel really uncomfortable and if so he might have asked his mum how to deal with it. Would everyone be so relaxed about this if he had said it infront of a female friend?

Vivi0 · 31/10/2025 15:49

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 31/10/2025 15:46

Ah you now agree that the creepy DH's comment was disgusting. I'm really pleased you've raised the bar.

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No.

I think your comment was disgusting.

I think the DH’s comment was a bit awkward, but certainly didn’t have the same intent yours did.

AgnesX · 31/10/2025 15:50

noworklifebalance · 31/10/2025 15:43

Not sure how many 17yo boys are comfortable when their mate’s dad makes jokes about masturbating over naked women’s images (usually very very young women).

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Cringeworthy definitely. Noone likes to think of their parents, their parents' friends, or middle aged people generally having anything remotely to do with sex. But given what teens have access to these days let's keep things in perspective.

GoldenRosebee · 31/10/2025 15:51

average boy wanks under the shower for at least last 5 years by time he is 17.

little Lord Fauntleroy indeed

some women here can't be serious, there's nothing wrong being said by dad

YouHaveAnArse · 31/10/2025 15:51

BunnyLake · 31/10/2025 15:23

And encouraging his teenage son (and possibly the friend) to buy magazines with naked women in them, no doubt legs akimbo purely for their delectation?

Is that the kind of man you married because I’d be disgusted.

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Oh, bless you for thinking that's worse than anything on the internet.

I wouldn't have told my parents about something like this but I wouldn't have felt that comfortable going back to that friend's house. Who does that?? Making jokes about your child wanking in front of them and their friend? Grim grim grim

Jenpen31 · 31/10/2025 15:53

At 17, this is a total over reaction from the Mother of this lad. I have a 17 year old and he would definitely know the context of the joke. He would be absolutely mortified if I messaged another parent about anything!!! They are almost adults.

You were being more than gracious having the lad round in the first place....just try to rise above it and dont reply.
If they take offence, so be it.....I'd say your better off without them. Your son doesnt need friends who runs back to mummy every 5 minutes.

noworklifebalance · 31/10/2025 15:54

AgnesX · 31/10/2025 15:50

Cringeworthy definitely. Noone likes to think of their parents, their parents' friends, or middle aged people generally having anything remotely to do with sex. But given what teens have access to these days let's keep things in perspective.

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I didn’t say boys don’t wank.
I specifically said about friends’ dads making these comments or insinuating these things. It’s grim to make these comments/jokes and yes, it does make teens feel very uncomfortable.

thisishowloween · 31/10/2025 15:55

tuvamoodyson · 31/10/2025 15:44

Probably only had mum’s number 🤷‍♀️

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Then she can text and ask for the DH's number.

YouHaveAnArse · 31/10/2025 15:55

Yogaretreat23 · 31/10/2025 15:34

I like to think I have a sense of humour so I didn’t take issue with the comment, no. I would have done if they were still school age.

DH thinks it’s hilarious I was messaged but I can’t say I’ve taken him up on his suggested response, which was essentially to hint she could do with access to one of said mag’s!

The friend is looking to go into a trade so if his mum thinks that comment was a bit inappropriate, she’s going to have a shock when he enters the world of work!

But there's a big difference between one of your pals saying it and your friend's dad saying it in front of your friend's mum. Even as an adult I'd find that a bit mortifying and creepy.

BunnyLake · 31/10/2025 15:56

YouHaveAnArse · 31/10/2025 15:51

Oh, bless you for thinking that's worse than anything on the internet.

I wouldn't have told my parents about something like this but I wouldn't have felt that comfortable going back to that friend's house. Who does that?? Making jokes about your child wanking in front of them and their friend? Grim grim grim

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Bless me? How about his dad getting his mind out the gutter and either check the wifi or have a decent conversation with his son (and friend).

sittingonabeach · 31/10/2025 15:57

Instead of thinking someone has to get used to misogyny maybe we should be encouraging people to speak up about how uncomfortable they feel about misogyny. I'm assuming your DH wouldn't have said something similar if these were female teens @Yogaretreat23

thisishowloween · 31/10/2025 15:58

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 31/10/2025 15:48

Surprised at these comments. It's not appropriate to make sexual comments like that infront of friends. It might have made the boy feel really uncomfortable and if so he might have asked his mum how to deal with it. Would everyone be so relaxed about this if he had said it infront of a female friend?

I think the point most of us are trying to make is that it's nothing to do with OP, so it's totally inappropriate for the other mother to be messaging her to complain.

Yes, it's grubby and yes, it was a shit joke, but it's nothing to do with OP. It's not her job to police what her DH says or to deal with complaints about it.

YouHaveAnArse · 31/10/2025 15:59

I agree that the dad should get his mind out of the gutter, but if you think what's available on a top shelf of a newsagent is any more explicit/misogynistic than anything a teenager can see online with a mobile phone and a VPN, then I don't think you've been on the internet very much.

Ruggerlass · 31/10/2025 16:00

Yogaretreat23 · 31/10/2025 15:34

I like to think I have a sense of humour so I didn’t take issue with the comment, no. I would have done if they were still school age.

DH thinks it’s hilarious I was messaged but I can’t say I’ve taken him up on his suggested response, which was essentially to hint she could do with access to one of said mag’s!

The friend is looking to go into a trade so if his mum thinks that comment was a bit inappropriate, she’s going to have a shock when he enters the world of work!

It’s definitely a mountain out of a molehill. I can’t believe the friend went running to mummy and even worse the mum messaging you. It was lad’s banter. I love your OH’s response to her message. You’re spot on. If her son is going in to a trade she’s in for a hell of a shock as is her son. Some of the responses on here make me think they’ve never been around older teenage boys! My son’s played rugby and all I can say is the songs they sang are full of innuendo and sexual references.

BunnyLake · 31/10/2025 16:00

sittingonabeach · 31/10/2025 15:57

Instead of thinking someone has to get used to misogyny maybe we should be encouraging people to speak up about how uncomfortable they feel about misogyny. I'm assuming your DH wouldn't have said something similar if these were female teens @Yogaretreat23

I guess some of the mums on here would have told their daughters (and dd’s friend) if the wifi wasn’t working to go get themselves some magazines with dick pics in them? Yes, or more likely no?

Ibizaonmymind · 31/10/2025 16:02

Yogaretreat23 · 31/10/2025 15:34

I like to think I have a sense of humour so I didn’t take issue with the comment, no. I would have done if they were still school age.

DH thinks it’s hilarious I was messaged but I can’t say I’ve taken him up on his suggested response, which was essentially to hint she could do with access to one of said mag’s!

The friend is looking to go into a trade so if his mum thinks that comment was a bit inappropriate, she’s going to have a shock when he enters the world of work!

Yuck. Sounds like you’re well suited.
I just don’t think joking about your kid buying Razzle is funny and I also have a sense of himour. Maybe just a bit more developed.

lazyarse123 · 31/10/2025 16:02

user1471538275 · 31/10/2025 14:46

I'd ignore her to be honest.

Any 17 year old boy I know wouldn't have blinked at that.

They sure as hell wouldn't have run back to mummy with it.

Edited

This. I'm sure most have seen one.

YouHaveAnArse · 31/10/2025 16:03

BunnyLake · 31/10/2025 16:00

I guess some of the mums on here would have told their daughters (and dd’s friend) if the wifi wasn’t working to go get themselves some magazines with dick pics in them? Yes, or more likely no?

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Oh no, if it was a girl it would be disgusting and grim, because their DDs would never ever look at rude things like that, they're too busy practicing cello and reading the psalms.

However, their strapping young DSes need to learn how to take banter, because boys will be boys, won't they? If you can't deal with your dad calling your friend a sexperv in front of you then you're just humourless, yeah?

BunnyLake · 31/10/2025 16:04

YouHaveAnArse · 31/10/2025 15:59

I agree that the dad should get his mind out of the gutter, but if you think what's available on a top shelf of a newsagent is any more explicit/misogynistic than anything a teenager can see online with a mobile phone and a VPN, then I don't think you've been on the internet very much.

So let’s bring back those top shelf magazines if they’re not as bad as the internet. Hands up all the women who want to walk into the newsagents and be greeted by magazines with naked women on the covers like we had to back in the 70s.

noworklifebalance · 31/10/2025 16:05

Maybe I am the only one that thinks that it’s a good thing that this friend can talk/joke/complain to his mum about this kind of thing.
I do think the mum shouldn’t have texted to complain (he may not talk to her about things again).
Usually people like this have no insight and think it’s witty banter, lads chat but it’s the base of the misogyny pyramid. And no, just because it is widely available on the internet and there is much worse out there, it doesn’t make this any more acceptable. It’s just so prevalent that many think it is normal and there is a numbness and lack of reaction/uproar to it all.

WoahWoahandThriceWoah · 31/10/2025 16:06

BunnyLake · 31/10/2025 16:00

I guess some of the mums on here would have told their daughters (and dd’s friend) if the wifi wasn’t working to go get themselves some magazines with dick pics in them? Yes, or more likely no?

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It's almost as if boys/girls (men/women) are different......

noworklifebalance · 31/10/2025 16:09

And it is always the person that calls it out that is the problem - usually belittled in some way to shut them down….e.g. running back to mummy (to quote a few on this thread)

YouHaveAnArse · 31/10/2025 16:10

If they did top shelf versions of Archive Of Our Own slash fiction then maybe

BunnyLake · 31/10/2025 16:11

Yogaretreat23 · 31/10/2025 15:34

I like to think I have a sense of humour so I didn’t take issue with the comment, no. I would have done if they were still school age.

DH thinks it’s hilarious I was messaged but I can’t say I’ve taken him up on his suggested response, which was essentially to hint she could do with access to one of said mag’s!

The friend is looking to go into a trade so if his mum thinks that comment was a bit inappropriate, she’s going to have a shock when he enters the world of work!

If he thinks she needs access to one of those mags is it because he thinks she’s uptight. Is he one of those knobs that think ‘uptight’ women just need a good seeing to as well?