Parent messaged me to complain about DH

[Yogaretreat23]

This is a strange one. DS had his friend round on Tuesday, they were mainly just playing video games upstairs. They came downstairs and DS started to moan that the Wi-Fi was down.

DH said he’d need to ‘go for the old school approach and grab a top shelf magazine from the corner shop’ and DS just laughed it off.

The next day, his friends mum has messaged me to say she doesn’t appreciate DH making inappropriate comments in front of her son.

I’ve ignored it…but am now overthinking whether I should have replied to clarify nothing was said to her son?

Edited to add both 17yo

Old school and tacky definitely. At 17 the boy's hardly likely to be traumatised though. There's a good bit of pearl clutching going on.

“Hi X’s mum. If you feel you need a conversation about this, DH’s number is 07#########. I wasn’t, and am not involved.”

Exactly what I am thinking. He is 17 - he needs to learn if he doesn’t appreciate a comment, he needs to raise it and not run to mummy!

And you are also giving YOUR opinions constantly.

Kettle, the pot is calling you...........

It's a chat forum, where people chat and give opinions and views.

HTH dear.

You don’t even know me, or what I think. You certainly have no idea what my standards are.

Again, just so demeaning.

I called you out on the disgusting way you spoke to a woman on this thread because she disagreed with you.

You have had lots to say about the comment the DH in the OP made, but yet you seem perfectly entitled to make your own disgusting comments.

You’re no better, really.

🙄

Your husband sounds vulgar, I think it's completely inappropriate to speak like that however old the intended recipient of the comment is. It would really put me off him if my husband spoke like that.

As for the woman messaging you, I'd add in DH to the chat and say something like "DH, please respond, your issue not mine".

Blimey @Vivi0 calm down.

You're obviously just used to being married to someone so grim.

If that were my son, we'd probably have a laugh and a conversation about how gross his mate's parents are, and avoid being around you. Hopefully your son doesn't suffer, though, with his peers distancing themselves because they find his dad gross and embarrassing.

I wonder why the friend's mum thinks you are responsible for your DH's comments? Why not contact him?

saying something is "a joke" doesn't absolve it from being weird or inappropriate for certain settings. some things are for mixed company and some are for friends / family.

I'd argue that your childs friend is not the best company to be making sex jokes about. He is an adult, maybe if more people told these men and their grim jokes to pipe down, you wouldn't have so many stories of middle aged men doing their shit lewd comedy routines in the office.

I think it was weird for the mum to contact you, given the ages of your DS and his friend.

But your H sounds like a complete arse with a really shit sense of humour.

Poor lad is going to get eaten alive if he can't handle a comment like that. Is mummy going to fight all his battles?

Not sure how many 17yo boys are comfortable when their mate’s dad makes jokes about masturbating over naked women’s images (usually very very young women).

the DH still comes across as a misogynist twat though with the comments he is making even if the friend probably wasn’t that offended

but given he has now said the mum needs the magazine is he implying the son and friend are gay? as that means the magazine is of men and he was implying they were watching porn together

or he is stupid and can’t quite work it all out

Probably only had mum’s number 🤷‍♀️

I imagine that the OP's ds was incredibly embarrassed. Assuming, that is, that he isn't a misogynistic twat like his dad.

Son's friend is only going to find trades a shock if things don't change, be good if things did change though...and that starts with our personal behaviours doesnt it?
Maybe the other Mum hopes for women to be able to work in trades and not be harassed with this crap.
The suggestion she is uptight and needs a magazine to orgasm and relax is just pitiful...people who orgasm freely don't need pictures 😉

Is there any evidence that the boy "couldn't handle it"? It seems more likely to me that he was laughing when he told mum.

Either way there's a world of difference between bantering with workmates and your friend's Dad being weird and creepy.

Oh, are you trying to insinuate that I’m somehow hysterical because I won’t accept being told by you and another poster that I need to raise my bar, that I have low standards etc.

Why do either of you think you have the right to make such judgements?

Probably telling his mum what a twat thee mate's dad is.

Exactly

The apologists on this thread are making me sick. I'm out. Gotta start getting ready for trick or treat anyway!

Ah you now agree that the creepy DH's comment was disgusting. I'm really pleased you've raised the bar.

Fair enough.

It's a bit grim, though, isn't it? And people are excusing it because it's boys-will-be-boys banter. Imagine how different the reaction would be if it was a DD and not a DS.