Parent messaged me to complain about DH

[Yogaretreat23]

This is a strange one. DS had his friend round on Tuesday, they were mainly just playing video games upstairs. They came downstairs and DS started to moan that the Wi-Fi was down.

DH said he’d need to ‘go for the old school approach and grab a top shelf magazine from the corner shop’ and DS just laughed it off.

The next day, his friends mum has messaged me to say she doesn’t appreciate DH making inappropriate comments in front of her son.

I’ve ignored it…but am now overthinking whether I should have replied to clarify nothing was said to her son?

Edited to add both 17yo

Another cool girl spectacularly missing the point but no doubt getting brownie points with the lads.

Why has she complained to you? Tell her to complain to your DH. You're not his mother. It's frankly ridiculous of her to complain to you.

It was just a quip. If DP said it I would roll my eyes. As would our 17yo, who would make a quick exit. The only answer I would send to the mum is ‘Take it up with DH. I can give you his number.’ Bloody hell.

What a demeaning way to speak to someone.

She isn’t missing the point, she just doesn’t agree with you.

Yes it does! It’s obvious where his brains are. Out of all things in the world he could have said why that? He’s gross.

Could think of much worse people to be married to.

Must be great to be perfect.

Maybe the 17 year old BOY told his mum because he found the middle aged men referencing porn magazines to him weird and gross. His mum had every right to contact the OP and complain. As I said, lots of middle aged men are like this. Many are still 17 mentally and emotionally. It's true what my mum used to say, 'men never grow up.'

She's right. They don't. I see men in their 50s, 60s, and even 70s, and 80s, chatting up women young enough to be their grandaughter. In their head they're still 25. Problem is, most men have dirty minds, and some of them think they're soooo funny, and that every woman wants them. 🙄

Urgh, it knocks me sick, honestly!

What are you talking about? What "lads"? 😂

It’s just disgusting really totally inappropriate

I bet there are things about your sense of humour people don't like.

Not everything has to be taken seriously and not everything means a man is an sick, porn-obsessed weirdo.

Your bar is so low, that it's scraping on the pavement! 😬

Oh FFS !

His mum had every right to contact the OP and complain.

Why? The OP isn’t the boss of her husband. The mum should contact the person who made the comment if she wants to complain to anyone.

Thank you!

Don't worry, I'm used to posters like that - been around here a long time

Probably IS a lad.

Checks underpants

Nope - sorry to disappoint you

The mum was OTT, but your DH should be more aware re visitors. I have teen / preteen boys and our household humour is cheerfully crude about poos and farts (nothing sexual though), but I would never ever crack those jokes within earshot of their friends. As an adult you need to be very appropriate around unrelated children and young people I think

The comment was grim but I am very surprised that a 17 year old went home to tell his mother.

Or maybe she just doesn't feel the need to be offended by everything.

I know who I'd rather be friends with!

Anyone criticising a teen telling their parent about another adult making sexual remarks to them is really ignorant about safeguarding. Children are encouraged to tell a trusted adult about anything they feel uncomfortable about - saying that 'tattling' or 'telling tales' helps abusers. It sounds like the OP's husband is a vulgar idiot - but I would not be happy with my teen spending time with a middle aged man who made sexual comments to them. Grooming starts with little things to test the boundaries, and it's hard to tell what was 'banter' and what was the start of sexual abuse until after the fact.

Having said all that I'm not convinced a modern teen would know what a 'top shelf magazine' is - do newsagents even stock porn magazines anymore? A teen might know all about OnlyFans and not understand the creepy dad's 'joke'

It's not funny. Your H is a dick. Most young people wouldn't have understood what he was talking about anyway - I suspect all the posters who think this is so hilarious are over 60. I would have replied saying your H is a dick and giving his number so he can explain that himself.

That poster is NOT simply disagreeing. They are berating other posters on MUMSNET, saying anyone who thinks a middle aged man talking about porn mags to a school boy is wrong, is UPTIGHT.

Give your head a wobble dude.

.

Ugh, really grim. Good on that mum. I think we're trying to bring up our boys not to be sleezy arseholes these days, aren't we?

exactly.

It might be ott, but maybe friends mum is asking for a grown man to stop making weird sexual jokes around her son as its making him uncomfortable.

what if its not the first time.

I'm demeaning but a man who wanks off to porn mags and laughs at it with teenagers is fine. Raise your bar.