Parent messaged me to complain about DH

[Yogaretreat23]

This is a strange one. DS had his friend round on Tuesday, they were mainly just playing video games upstairs. They came downstairs and DS started to moan that the Wi-Fi was down.

DH said he’d need to ‘go for the old school approach and grab a top shelf magazine from the corner shop’ and DS just laughed it off.

The next day, his friends mum has messaged me to say she doesn’t appreciate DH making inappropriate comments in front of her son.

I’ve ignored it…but am now overthinking whether I should have replied to clarify nothing was said to her son?

Edited to add both 17yo

If you had a daughter would you want her to date a lad brought up with saying crap like that.

Awful comment but I wouldn't have texted. Perhaps her son has more respect for women and girls and that is why he said to his own family. Not a title tat but someone more respectful of girls

Oh ffs 🙄 you’ve asked in the wrong place OP
YANBU, your husband made a funny joke to his teenage (nearly adult!) kid, friends mum needs to pull the stick out of her arse, as do half the people in this thread.
Im sure her precious little darling has heard worse in the school playground.

It was a daft thing to say and not actually funny, but, a mum of a 17 year old texting you. Good grief.

I'd just ignore. You are not responsible for what your DH says nor your son's 17 year old friend.

I agree @sittingonabeach - but with two teenage boys in this house I can tell you they understand the reference.

If I was op I'd be embarrassed by my DH talking like that.
If I was the friend's mother I'd probably think that it was a weird thing to say, but I'd never complain to OP.

The comment wasn’t great, but if friend’s mum had a problem with it (and I think she’s being ridiculous as her son is 17 - not exactly a little child and he will have heard worse from his peers) then she needs to contact OP’s DH not OP. Has nothing to do with OP at all - she isn’t responsible for any rubbish her husband comes out with.

I can't believe the 17 year old friend reported that back to his mum. I also can't believe your DH thought that was a funny joke it's just a bit gross and weird.

I would be more cross that you have been dragged into this awkwardness ! Give the mother your DH phone number and let her complain direct to him ! I would be cross - completely inappropriate remark 🙄

It was a crass 'joke' regardless of the kids' ages, OP. I think I'd be more bothered that your DH thinks this is an acceptable thing to say, rather than upset at the woman who raised the issue.

As everyone else has said, pretty OTT for the mother to text you. But seriously is this normal for your dh? That’s incredibly inappropriate, in anyone’s company let alone your teenager and their friend. Implying they were upstairs wanking to porn. Horrific.

Maybe the mother wanted to alert you to the fact that your dh is a pervy old git?

Gross and he needs speaking to

Surprised her son told his mum. I don't think it's a problem at all, and I was in charge of 17/19 year old boys for decades!

YANBU - your son's friend needs to get a grip (pun partially intentional) 😂

Weird for the mum to text you when he’s 17 but maybe the friend was really bothered by it.

Either way, your husband is a knob and I’d apologize for his shit ‘humour’.

Embarrassing dad saying cringey comments and embarrassing mum texting about it. I’m amazed her 17 year old tells her anything.

You could send her your DH’s number and suggest she takes it up with him. It is hardly your fault.

Well, everybody sucks here! Dad for making such a gross comment, 17 year old for tattling and then the Mum for bothering to say anything!

Is this what you'll be doing OP? Will you be messaging her back and telling her to Fuck off? Seems like a reasonable solution.

Grim and weird comment from DH. Who goes from no wifi to porn in a split second?
Parent sending email also weird. Perhaps her DS is a little innocent and didn't know what your DH meant. The Mum is probably embarrassed as she had to explain the context of a top shelf mag.

Why couldn't you just let her believe that. I thought it was very sweet.

Would a teen know what he was even referring to these days? I’m guessing a young child wouldn’t get it at all,

I mean, it's a bit Jay's dad from The Inbetweeners, cringy more than anything else. I second sending her your husband's number and telling her to take it up with him directly.

Tell her to ring him herself, you're not his keeper/Mummy...

It's a vulgar and daft comment, which he thought would be funny - its significantly better than what a friends Dad said to me once..

We were about 18/19 - at friends bands gig in a pub. Friends Dad comes up to sit with us and leans in and says 'hey... would you like a good screw?!' and as my face went to 'WTF!'... he hands me a brass wood screw out of his pocket.

I said 'that is a very good screw Kevin but you keep it'... told my Mum though and she was absolutely disgusted I had to stop her from ringing him up and yelling at him!

I had known him a long time, he genuinely turned up in his work gear and likely found the screw in his pocket and thought 'ahahaha this will be funny' - but it was a vulgar and stupid joke to make, which is why I've never forgotten it out of all the conversations we've had that I have undoubtedly lost to the mists of time!

They're 17?!

Christ, I thought you were going to say they were 11 or something.

The parent who complained is being utterly ridiculous.

Wasn’t it more that the suggestion is that they were both watching porn (potentially together) and the fact the wifi was down meant they needed to a non online route

which I think is inappropriate even at 17 given the inference they were watching it together could have made them feel uncomfortable

look the truth is for the mum to know about it the 17 year old would have had to have mentioned it which ultimately means either

(a) he didn’t understand it and asked
(b) he did and it made him uncomfortable
(C) if he didn’t know then he did and it did make him uncomfortable

The lad must have felt really uncomfortable to tell his parents, what was your DH thinking saying that? I’m cringing on his behalf.

Top shelf magazines are no 'grubbier' than internet porn (in fact, often a lot less grubby content-wise). Teens won't have them hidden away in their bedrooms because they can just press a button and access hardcore porn at their leisure. Let's stop hand wringing about dirty old men. Today's version is no better.