AIBU to think this is a bit rude/ cheeky?

[Iloveleaveinconditioner]

I’m quite a ‘perfume’ person and have a collection (about 15 bottles at the moment) in a glass cabinet in one of our guests rooms. Some of them are very expensive and have been Christmas/ birthday presents.

We’ve just had guests down for 4 days for half term. For reference, it’s an old work colleague of my husband’s who he became really good friends with, his wife and their 2 DC. I’ve met this friend and his wife about 5-6 times over the years and they are absolutely lovely, we really get on.

Anyway, all week the wife smelt lovely, I kept smelling all these lovely, familiar smells. You can probably see where this is going!

Yesterday when they were leaving, I gave her a hug goodbye and again, she smelt lovely (but familiar) I said ‘god you smell lovely’ and she said ‘Thanks, it’s one of yours, I’ve been using different ones of yours all week, been getting my money’s worth’ and laughed. I was a bit taken aback but laughed too.

I’m not sure how I feel about it to be honest. On one hand I almost don’t mind, it’s hardly the end of the world, but on the other I think I’d never dream of doing that, especially without asking and even then, I’d only ask if I’d forgotten my perfume and for some reason smelt awful, or they had one that I really wanted to try before I purchased.

Is it a bit rude or am I being overly precious?

Well, from some of these responses, there's a whole host of people who just use anything in front of them if it's not locked down or showing a price tag!

OP, you NNNNNBU.

If she was a friend, she'd say to you first, "Hey, Iloveleaveinconditioner, I really want to try your perfume, may I?" Or a very close friend would possibly spritz first and then run down and say, "hey, do you mind, I tried your perfume."

The whole not saying a word until you brought it up is prime cheeky behavior.

I think that quite changes things & I wouldn't class that as a guest/spare room as such.

Also, we have two spare bedrooms and the reason why I put her and her husband in that room and their DC in the other spare room was because I was afraid little hands might get into my perfume cabinet 🙈🙈 turns out little hands weren’t what I should’ve been worried about!

No harm done like people have said, it’s not the end of the world, but I’ll be removing them in future as personally I’d rather (the really expensive ones at least) weren’t used by guests!

I ask if I can use toothpaste/shower gel/shampoo etc. if I've forgotten mine - I certainly wouldn't just use someone's perfume even if it was out in the bathroom!

I find it hilarious that

a) anyone would assume a range of (expensive) perfume bottles on display in a glass cabinet had been placed there for a guest's use and;

b) that people put things they no longer want on display for other's to use, like shop front, in your own house.

Know this OP, you now have to prepare for ALL eventualities.

Because.

Oh, can you maybe get a lockable display case? Might be easier than moving them all

Absolutely. (a) shows a whole other level of entitlement by the guest, and (b) is just a bat-shit suggestion! 😂

I think I’d save on money and put a note saying ‘keep your fucking hands off my stuff’.

I do realise that might make me appear unfriendly though.

Sorry OP but I’d have definitely had a smell of them all! Probably wouldn’t have gone as far as trying them on though

You left it in the guest room!

I leave an array of toiletries in our guest room for guests to use. I would not leave anything I didn’t want them to use!

Not stuff that was entirely unwanted but definitely not unreasonable to think they were ones OP wasn't too sure about or hardly ever used so wasn't particularly bothered about. As opposed to favourites ones that I would assume she kept in her own room.

I would no more do that than use someone else’s makeup

Do people really eyeball the contents of others' homes and assess them as to where they are on the spectrum of "favourites" vs "not too sure about" and "hardly ever used" as a prelude to helping oneself to others private items?

There is no planet on which perfume, wherever it is stored, is a communal good available to all who pass by. It's as intimate as make-up, deodorant or jewelry.

Nothing wrong with being curious, having a smell.

Completely different story to USING them.

Seems people are simply entitled.

In that case I think you'd better tell anyone you intend to stay with to stick clearly written notices in their spare room. Warm them that unless it's bolted down you'll be helping yourself as you are completely unable to assess what is most likely personal and what is not.

I literally said I would ask…what’s your problem 😂🤷🏽‍♀️ the op asked if her guest was rude or cheeky, I’ve said no I don’t think she is and given the reasons why.
i don’t know why you’ve got an issue with me, but you’re the one looking unkind here not me! 😂🤷🏽‍♀️

Well not with that much thought given to it no! I'm saying it's probably an reasonable quick assumption. I don't think it's unreasonable to think that something someone is deliberately storing outside their room is something that they aren't using regularly.

How expensive is perfume? I've never bought any so it wouldnt occur to me that it comes in bottles that cost so much that a couple of sprays are a significant use of it

But perfumes do go off?

Any chance of your giving us a list of the perfumes? It is always interesting to get recommendations with a view to getting a clone from Perfume Parlour or similar.

Cheeky cow. You don't poke about in glass cabinets as a guest.

Get her money's worth? I'd say "Yes it will be £200 a night next time."

Where does she think she is, The Dorchester?

Not when they are on display in a glass cabinet. They weren't left on the dressing table with the lids off.

Very rude of her.

Who on earth would make the assumption that a host is providing their guests with a range of expensive perfumes? Just because something is in the room doesn't mean you can just help yourself.

If there's a picture on the wall of the spare room that she liked would it be okay for her to take it home with her because it was put there for the guests?

Or how about the towels in the bathroom because they're really nice and thick, or the lovely duvet cover that she's taken a fancy to.

If you're really stupid/entitled enough to think that everything in the room is yours for the taking at least ask first, just to make sure.

Is this a B&b? Is she a paying guest? You said 'one of our guests rooms' and she talked about her money's worth. I don't know why you'd leave them on display in a guest room if the guest isn't supposed to use them.
She may be being cheeky as well, though, depending on the setup and if you are not closest bosom friends with longstanding habits of sharing and swapping and a well established understanding of what goes between you. I wouldn't do it myself but then I prefer to use my own stuff.

If stored carefully, rarely in my experience and I have some from the 1920's, I've been collecting fragrances for many years.