AIBU to think this is a bit rude/ cheeky?

[Iloveleaveinconditioner]

I’m quite a ‘perfume’ person and have a collection (about 15 bottles at the moment) in a glass cabinet in one of our guests rooms. Some of them are very expensive and have been Christmas/ birthday presents.

We’ve just had guests down for 4 days for half term. For reference, it’s an old work colleague of my husband’s who he became really good friends with, his wife and their 2 DC. I’ve met this friend and his wife about 5-6 times over the years and they are absolutely lovely, we really get on.

Anyway, all week the wife smelt lovely, I kept smelling all these lovely, familiar smells. You can probably see where this is going!

Yesterday when they were leaving, I gave her a hug goodbye and again, she smelt lovely (but familiar) I said ‘god you smell lovely’ and she said ‘Thanks, it’s one of yours, I’ve been using different ones of yours all week, been getting my money’s worth’ and laughed. I was a bit taken aback but laughed too.

I’m not sure how I feel about it to be honest. On one hand I almost don’t mind, it’s hardly the end of the world, but on the other I think I’d never dream of doing that, especially without asking and even then, I’d only ask if I’d forgotten my perfume and for some reason smelt awful, or they had one that I really wanted to try before I purchased.

Is it a bit rude or am I being overly precious?

I'm usually very keen to declare CFery but I'm not so sure here. I can see why a guest might think items left on display in the guest room were free to use. I can see why there might be confusion between you thinking the closed glass cabinet made it clear that the perfumes were display only. Whilst she thought the glass front showing the perfumes was an invitation to help herself.

I did once have a Christmas party where I served buffet food from the kitchen table where there was a stack of ordinary plates to use. I was a bit shocked when one guest (workmates boorish husband) went into the dining room and took a plate out of our glass fronted dresser, presumably he just preferred a bit of bone China! These are only occasionally used "for posh" as they were a wedding present and I try to avoid everyday breakage risk. But I quickly ignored it as well, it's a plate, it's openly on display and plates are for eating off. But I kind of see how you feel.

Getting her money's worth is a horribly crass CF thing to say. What money???

Just as an aside I would not have used your perfume in that situation unless there was one I really wanted to try and then I woukd ask first. Honestly, its not as if you can have a discreet cheeky squirt because it's obvious when you come downstairs in a heavenly miasma.

Did she have the cheek to fire up the treadmill? 😂

I wouldn’t care less but then I’m not tight with stuff

I don't have a guest bedroom but I do have a spare bedroom. I sometimes have people staying over and they sleep in that spare room. Like most normal people who live in ordinary houses, I also keep some personal items in that room. My guests would find it piss easy to differentiate between the towels I'd laid out on their bed and a bottle of shampoo for their use (which I would have told them about) and a personal collection in a glass cabinet. That's because they aren't fucking thick as shit or entitled and if they were in any doubt whatsoever, they'd at least have the good manners to ask.

That’s shocking behaviour!

Yes this! I think it's cheeky and surprised at the amount of people that think it's ok!

Yes, it's a guest room, but it's in your own home, not a hotel where consumables left in the room are for use by guests, as they are included in the room rate. At the very least she should have asked....you wouldn't make yourself a cup of tea or a sandwich in someone else's house without asking, would you?

I hope she didn't open them

I think if they were in a room I was staying in o would probably assume they were spares. I would expect that your perfume would be kept in your bedroom or the bathroom to be honest. I wouldn’t expect that perfumes in a spare room aren’t to be touched.
i probably would have checked. But I don’t think she’s been rude or cheeky.

If they were in the guest room I’d assume you put them there FOR guests to use… otherwise why would you put them there?

Generally items in guest rooms and bathrooms are for a guests’ enjoyment OP.

I was a bit shocked when one guest (workmates boorish husband) went into the dining room and took a plate out of our glass fronted dresser, presumably he just preferred a bit of bone China! These are only occasionally used "for posh" as they were a wedding present and I try to avoid everyday breakage risk.

WTAF? Please tell me that the wife set him straight!

Not the same thing at all.

We have all our regular shampoos and shower gels in the shower, then some pricey Tom Ford / Dior etc stuff in a bathroom cabinet. A friend of mine came to stay for the weekend, clearly opened the cabinet to have a nosey and used my Dior stuff without asking. I just looked it up and the shower gel is £62 and the body lotion is £88. They are the scent of my wedding perfume and my husband bought me them for our anniversary. I thought it went without saying that you don’t help yourself to the stuff in cupboards and cabinets when in someone else’s house, especially when you know it’s expensive and even more so when other stuff is able for use.

Is

No she did not. They also let their 3 year old go upstairs on her own and when I went to check on her (the parents were oblivious) she was jumping on the spare room bed with shoes on having also left a trail of crisps and sandwich crumbs trodden into the carpet. Guess which family was never invited back. 😂

I’m not posh but my guest room is literally a spare room used only for guests. I don’t cram my spare room full of clothes and other crap because that fits in the entire room that I already have (my bedroom).

I don’t much use perfume because I have skin conditions but I do have a whole cabinet outside the main bathroom full of shampoos and face masks and hair masks and skin care and hair ties and deodorants etc that is for anyone to use. Hence why it’s all out on display so people can use it. I don’t think that’s unusual my mum does the same.

But in a hotel you pay a nightly rate, within which everything in the room is included.....

So you don't keep any personal items at all in your spare bedroom? You are very fortunate. I'm afraid a lot of us don't have that luxury. We don't all live big houses. Nor would it occur to us to lay on glass cabinets full of expensive perfumes for our guests. Out of interest would you really assume that everything in the spare bedroom was up for grabs?

Your being disingenuous by continuing to say, "behind the closed door of a cabinet" as though the OP's guest went rifling through the cupboards. The perfume bottles were in a glass cabinet. A really good host would have invited the guest to take one of the bottles with her when they realised the guest was using the perfume.

And if these bottles of perfume were so bloody precious they shouldn't have been left on display in the guest room. The end.

I once had parents allow their 3yo to wander whilst they were oblivious. They didn’t help her in the loo and she emptied her full bladder all over the floor. Luckily, there weren’t any rugs or anything, but I did need to soak it all up and disinfect the floor. I was gone from the party for ages—my DH asked where I had been and I told him. The parents were completely oblivious and were never invited back.

Visiting someone else’s house isn’t the time to let your hair down whilst your toddler has free rein of the house. At least one parent needs to be parenting when they’re that little.

I was going to say she is cheeky and YANBU but then I saw they are in a glass cabinet in your guest room.

That would tend to suggest they were there to be used by guests.

I wouldn’t keep them in a guest room if you don’t want guests to use them. Otherwise, why are they on display to the guests?

”Getting my money’s worth” is a cheeky turn of phrase to use though!

Edit - I don’t think I would personally have used them in that situation but I can see why some might

A really good host would have invited the guest to take one of the bottles with her when they realised the guest was using the perfume.

A really good guest would say, 'Oh what an amazing collection of perfume! Would you mind if I tried one or two?'

Honestly some posters have clearly been dragged up, but the ones blaming the OP are worse.

No.

The room is clearly a guest room, storage area and wardrobe in addition to being used to house guests. Decent people don't "assume" anything with regard to others' belongings. "Here are your towels, there is shampoo in the bathroom," doesn't = "help yourself ot anything under our roof."

No.

The room is clearly a guest room, storage area and wardrobe in addition to being used to house guests. Decent people don't "assume" anything with regard to others' belongings. "Here are your towels, there is shampoo in the bathroom," doesn't = "help yourself ot anything under our roof."

The husband who took a china plate from a cabinet downstairs instead of using the plates put out for the buffet was cheeky though!

Everyone knows that you don’t take china from a display cabinet at a party.

But different to it being visible in a bedroom that they were occupying.

One really wonders how some of these people were raised. Lord of the Flies? Grab what you can, while you can?