Waterstones experience with disabled child

[Reasonswhy]

My child has a regressive neurological condition that makes her enjoy things much younger than her
age (9). We went to Waterstones today after a difficult medical appointment for a nice treat. The shop was deserted so it was calm and pleasant and my daughter headed for her favourite section, the young children’s books. She was enjoying looking at them when a staff member came up and said loudly “you’re far
too old to be reading them” and my daughter’s face just fell. I was so shocked, I wear a sunflower lanyard to alert people to a hidden disability, but even if she hadn’t seen that, surely it’s not right to comment on what anyone chooses to read? We just left
as my daughter was upset and I didn’t want to add to that by taking on the ignorance of the staff member in front of her and explaining the condition, but I’m hurting for her as it was meant to be a nice treat after a horrible blood test snd she walked away feeling judged.

Yes, failed. Did they make a sale? No, their actions caused a potential customer to leave. Sounds like a fail to me.

Just seen the update - Great response by the manager

The plot twist here is surely that the shop assistant is ND too and couldn't read the social cues going on well enough.

I am so pleased to hear that op

This is partially about disability but actually it's far more fundamentally about customer care. They shouldn't ever be passing judgement on the section a customer is browsing.

Don’t be sad. I’m a voracious reader who’s worked in the book industry for over 30 years and never read much in the way of classics. Of the ones you list I read the Chalet School and Anne of Green Gables. Lots of Arthur Ransome, but really, I always preferred contemporary writing. Don’t mind a bit of classic crime.

You don’t even need to mention the disability.

Good update, though the fact that the manager thinks the answer is inclusivity training rather than customer service training suggests he doesn’t really have a handle on the issue.

Not true! My daughter loves a lot of them - she has the full little women series on her kindle and reads it on repeat. Big fan of the secret garden and a little princess. Didn’t love Narnia but my son did :)

I reread Anne often but so far she only liked the first one - not a fan of romance!

There are no social cues to be read as there was nothing to be interpreted. The comment was unnecessary whether or not the OP’s daughter was NT or ND.

And I suspect the shop assistant was not ND. As an autistic person, i cant think of few things less worthy of comment than an older child or adult enjoying looking at children’s books.

Nobody needs anything around their neck. No child should not be lambasted for enjoying play.

OP - I would definitely drop an email to head office if you have the time and energy. Comments like that are so unnecessary. I could also have a mega rant about the important of play and not putting age limits around resources but I'll save that for another day.

Agree, this is just about basic customer service at the end of the day.

I would. My daughter is a wheelchair user and we have had many, many conversations over the years about how she needs to develop a thick skin when it comes to strangers doing or saying stupid things. Much as we’d love a warm fuzzy world where everyone is nice to everyone, it doesn’t exist. In her young 16 years she’s had to deal with more idiocy than most adults ever will, along with all the other shit she has to deal with. I cannot protect her from other people all her life, but I can protect her from herself. We’ve spent years developing coping strategies with her so she can shake off the kinds of stuff people say and do. She is allowed to feel however she wants about it in the moment, and react as her mood takes her. Sometimes she will be very rude back, sometimes she’ll ignore, sometimes she’ll just smile and say thanks. The most important thing is she lets it go when the moment is gone. She doesn’t have the luxury of not being marked out as different, if she doesn’t build resilience to that, she’ll spend her life angry and that’s not good for anyone.

I am a wheelchair user. I still feel that telling people to get some resilience is focusing on changing the wrong person.

I worked in a Waterstones store 30 years ago. This would have been dealt with very effectively by the manager, although I’m having trouble imagining any one of my former colleagues saying this in the first place.

You need to complain to Waterstones head office naming the store and saying exactly which section you were in at roughly what time.

What a wanky comment. I'm sure that as the parent of a child with a disability OP has built up a lot of resilience over the years, but she still shouldn't have to put up with such tone-deaf and ignorant rudeness from a member of staff whose job is to sell books and to be polite and helpful to customers.

Bookshops should be welcoming places and staff working in the children's section should be friendly and encouraging to young readers irrespective of their reading level.

Nooooo! Totally inappropriate for the op to be required to explain to staff in that way. Partly because it’s upsetting/embarrassing for her child. Partly because it’s tiresome to be explaining. She shouldn’t have to. And partly because just nooooo!
It’s a bit like you going into a cafe and announcing to everyone there, “sorry all, I need to sit at this table today because I’ve got my period.” make sure you smile as you do so!!

You wouldn’t want to do that. Neither do people with disabilities.

You've found offense in OP's responses to your unempathetic comments. OP and her daughter are already targets for ignorant people but one would hope that the children's section of a bookshop would be an inclusive and non-judgemental space.

That’s amazing OP. 🎉

Well done to you and the manager. You will make things better for all future disabled customers. Great outcome xx

I still stand by that it’s a judgement too. “You are too….XYZ” is a judgement! You are making a judgement.

seen your update OP - well done. Hopefully the store will do better. I hope she feels able to go back and choose a book.

My son is a wheelchair user.

I hate the word resilience.

I wear the lanyard instead because my son has sensory issues and takes it off immediately!

It's always thrown at people when the world can't be arsed to be nicer or more accomodating to them isn't it!

Yep.

Or when people expect me to use my child as an education tool when it is perfectly possible to educate yourself. My child is a human being, not an animal at the zoo.