To feel hurt that my mum bought me cheaper items than she would buy for herself

[paintbynumberss]

My mum has behaved in some hurtful ways in the past so I'm unsure if my judgement is being clouded by past experiences of her.

I had £1.21 in my bank account today (pay day is tomorrow) and no food in the house so my mum kindly brought around a small bag of basics - chicken, bread, salad, juice etc - to tide me over until tomorrow. My mum is fairly well off (as in she has a couple of holidays each year, she drives a high end car bought nearly new, owns a good sized house in the countryside with no mortgage) but isn't ostentatiously so.

The juice she bought for me was Asda's own brand. I'm perfectly happy with own brand, it's what I buy for myself. It tastes the same to me, and I'm single and living alone on quite a low income. I don't see the point of spending more than you have to on juice. However my mum would not buy own brand juice for herself - she buys Copella or Innocent, depending on what's on offer. She is comfortable shopping at M&S for her food shop also, whereas apart from a few items here and there, M&S is out of my budget.

AIBU to feel a bit hurt that my mum bought me cheaper items that she wouldn't buy for herself? I would understand if she couldn't afford to buy two people branded juice but I know she can afford it. As I say, my point isn't branded vs own brand per say but that I feel hurt that she would buy her daughter cheaper items than she would buy for herself. I experience it as an insinuation that I'm not as worthy of the quality that she is. I don't have children yet but when I do I'd want to give them the best that I could. AIBU?

She bought you own brand because she's clearly noticed that's what you drink.

That's being thoughtful - buying you your normal, what she thinks you like, food/drink.

I think you're massively overthinking this. It's stranger that you come from a well off family but you're struggling? Are your finances low or out of control?

OP this is so self-pitying and self-indulgent.

You were short of the wherewithal to buy your normal shop so your mum bought it and brought it round for you. By your own admission it's what you would buy.

You are essentially saying you wanted her not only to help you out, but to do so above and beyond what you would normally have.

If you look at everything in this glass half empty way you will live a miserable life.

I think I would feel the same way OP.

YABU.

You clearly told her you were struggling and rather than see you go without for a day, she went out of her way to bring you food and drink. Who cares if it was branded vs own brand. You say yourself you buy unbranded products so if she’d given you the money you’d have ended up with exactly the same things Pick your battles, this isn’t the one.

I don't know. I think there's a risk that if she'd bought you all M&S and branded it might have come over a bit Lady Bountiful.

Wow. I mean seriously wow.

I agree. I get the feeling op that you'd have taken offence at that too - that it was a high and mighty criticism of what you can normally afford.

Your mum did a nice thing. Let it be.

the woman can’t win!
if she’d splashed out on expensive juice there could equally have been the flip side of this, “for the same price she could have bought 3 of the cheaper ones, what a waste, especially as I can’t taste the difference!!”
I think in your position I’d be grateful and never mention finances being tight ever again or ask for shopping from your mum.

She's not doing her own weekly shop here though? Presumably she nipped into the store, whizzed around and grabbed you the items to drop off for you. I doubt she was browsing for Best value offers?... "Oh, juice paintbynumberss drinks" (pop it in basket).

If it’s what you buy yourself then you are unreasonable.
if budget is tight I’d say juice is a luxury. Diluting juice is more economical and a bottle at the same price as your own band fresh juice will last longer.

It’s not like this was your birthday gift and she’s cheaper out on something rubbish. You’re being really ungrateful.

How old are you and your mum?
How long will she need to be bailing you out if you cannot make ends meet?
What are your plans to meet your own needs in the future?

This exactly - she may have thought she’s rubbing your nose in it.

i say this with a lot of kindness but please get a grip of yourself and be grateful for your lovely and kind Mum. You come across as really entitled and surly.

She bought you what you normally have, quite considerate she noticed the type you usually choose, and really ungrateful of you to complain. Maybe next time she should just leave you to stave to avoid the risk of offending you.

Goodness, what a whiny, self-pitying post. I'm Team Mum on this one. Buy your own juice in future!

What sort of own brand juice did she buy? If it’s chilled, I think yabu. I don’t think there’s a massive taste difference.

If it’s the one in the non-refrigerated section yanbu. Unless that’s what you usually get, in which case she might think you prefer it because it lasts longer.

This is so ungrateful & entitled . Your DM was kind enough to take the time to buy and bring food to you when you have none and you’re complaining that she hasn’t bought luxury brands (when you don’t normally use them anyway) !
I’ve amazed that you’ve managed to turn this kind act into something to complain about .

YABVU. Unreasonable, ungrateful and frankly unbelievable!

I hope you reacted with gratitude not self-pity when she delivered it.

Welcome to Mumsnet OP.
I'm struggling to believe that someone could genuinely be so clueless.

YABU she bought you food to keep you going until you get paid but that’s not good enough for you because it wasn’t M&S so she must not love you she bought you food she could’ve told you F off and starve but she never. In your eyes she’s wrong whatever she does. Try just being grateful that she bought you food you sound like an ungrateful spoiled brat because it’s was cheap food and not the expensive stuff you where hoping for.

OP is there a possibility your mum believes you prefer said brand? While I assume she understands your budget constraints, potentially she is playing safe?

Honestly you're a grown woman who still needs her mother to support her and you are on here giving out that the she's not buying you the high end stuff. Yadbu

This has got to be a joke right? Poor woman can’t do right for doing wrong.

You’re focussing on the wrong thing here. Be grateful that you’ve got some food in the cupboard and focus on how you can avoid running out of money again in the future.

As always on MN it’s a race to the fucking bottom

as a parent of adult DC it would not occur to me to buy my DC less than I’d buy myself. In fact if my DC were struggling as OP is I’d do everything in my power to ensure they were treated.

oP I’m sorry your mother is inconsiderate you are not being unreasonable